gift or loan question

helpintennessee · Feb 20, 2006

What is the name of your state? Tennessee

Last year I was seeing someone and we were intending on getting married. She was getting behind in her bills and after we talked about it I decided to help her out. I gave her 2 checks to her directly that were considered gifts, however I also paid over $4000 in bills driectly from my bank account. I have proof of all these payments and we had agreed (verbally) that it would be better that I pay off some of her debts so that she didn't have to keep paying the interest charges and the late fees. These "interest charges and late fees" would then stay with us and they would eventually accumulate into the amount that I lent her and she would pay it back - or if(when) we got married, they could be used towards a downpayment on a house. She then broke off the relationship and has not paid me back.

My question is the gift versun loan question. In small claims court, would they consider over $4000 to be excessive for a gift and therefore conclude that it was a loan? And/or would they consider it a "conditional gift" and the condition being the future marriage, and since that did not take place, she would then owe me the money back? I'm not trying to be mean to her and I'm not being bitter, but $4000 is a lot of money and I would like it (or some of it) back.

Litigation! · Feb 20, 2006

helpintennessee said:
What is the name of your state? Tennessee

Last year I was seeing someone and we were intending on getting married. She was getting behind in her bills and after we talked about it I decided to help her out. I gave her 2 checks to her directly that were considered gifts, however I also paid over $4000 in bills driectly from my bank account. I have proof of all these payments and we had agreed (verbally) that it would be better that I pay off some of her debts so that she didn't have to keep paying the interest charges and the late fees. These "interest charges and late fees" would then stay with us and they would eventually accumulate into the amount that I lent her and she would pay it back - or if(when) we got married, they could be used towards a downpayment on a house. She then broke off the relationship and has not paid me back.

My question is the gift versun loan question. In small claims court, would they consider over $4000 to be excessive for a gift and therefore conclude that it was a loan? And/or would they consider it a "conditional gift" and the condition being the future marriage, and since that did not take place, she would then owe me the money back? I'm not trying to be mean to her and I'm not being bitter, but $4000 is a lot of money and I would like it (or some of it) back.

My response:

You can forget about it. Judge's don't like trying to figure out gifts versus loans unless there was some writing evidencing one way or the other. A judge will just figure that since you're no longer engaged, that this is just an attempt by a jilted lover to get back what he willingly gave.

Case dismissed. Judgment for Defendant girlfriend.

IAAL

helpintennessee · Feb 20, 2006

Would it matter if we had e-mails stating a payment "schedule"? We traded e-mails where I stated that if she put a certain amount into another account she had, then the bills would be paid out of that and the extra would be used to pay me back?

I know it's nothing with a signiture, but there are e-mails that I think would help substantiate it being a loan and not a gift.

I've given her 6 months now to try to work out some way to pay it back - but she's p!ssed with me and won't talk about it anymore.

I'd be happy if she paid half of it back and I let her keep the other half, but she won't even tlak about it.

Litigation! · Feb 20, 2006

helpintennessee said:
Would it matter if we had e-mails stating a payment "schedule"? We traded e-mails where I stated that if she put a certain amount into another account she had, then the bills would be paid out of that and the extra would be used to pay me back?

I know it's nothing with a signiture, but there are e-mails that I think would help substantiate it being a loan and not a gift.

My response:

So, why didn't you think this was important information for your initial post?

IAAL

helpintennessee · Feb 20, 2006

Because I didn't know if I could find the old e-mails or not. I just did and was able to re-read them. We discussed her opeing a second account at her bank (which she did) and she would deposit a certain amount from each paycheck and I would make sure her bills got paid (she admitted to be lousy with money). The extra that would accumulate in the account would be used to pay me back.

Sorry - I hope I didn't waste your time. I'm just not sure what to do, if anything. I'd like to get some of the money back, and I was hoping she'd meet me halfway. I really don't want to take her to court - but I do need some of the money back.

Litigation! · Feb 20, 2006

helpintennessee said:
Because I didn't know if I could find the old e-mails or not. I just did and was able to re-read them. We discussed her opeing a second account at her bank (which she did) and she would deposit a certain amount from each paycheck and I would make sure her bills got paid (she admitted to be lousy with money). The extra that would accumulate in the account would be used to pay me back.

Sorry - I hope I didn't waste your time. I'm just not sure what to do, if anything. I'd like to get some of the money back, and I was hoping she'd meet me halfway. I really don't want to take her to court - but I do need some of the money back.

My response:

So, now that you have the "evidence," did you need me, or anyone, to tell you to file a lawsuit in Small Claims court?

C'mon, you can think. I know you can. You don't need "permission." Just go to the local courthouse tomorrow.

IAAL

helpintennessee · Feb 20, 2006

Thanks.

Sorry if I wasted your time. I was hearing conflicting stories about whether it would be considered proof or not. Maybe I was just feeling I was alone in trying to figure this out and really did need someone's "permission" to go ahead with it. I've never done anything like this (small claims court) and wasn't sure how much proof I needed.

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