Help for me out there?

Is there HELP for me out there?

my divorce was final back in april of 99, i made a mistake and got with him in a physical manner in sept. 99, got pregnant then in june of 99 he hit me me and put me into labor i got an exparte but could not serve him with the other papers cause i did not know where he was, now he is harrassing me with making reports to child protective services which have closed the case now, But i need to know if i can get another exparte and then serve him at his mothers or somewhere else other than where he lives by another person not involved of course and is older than 18, for just harrassing me in this manner or does he have to hit me again or threaten me? i am really afraid for my life and my childrens life also i cant afford an attorney or to loose my children to him they mean the world to me and the thought of loosing them breaks my heart. so if you could just give me some advice to what i can do in this situation i will take it. i know how to get some papers and file them but not all. i filed my own divorce but was ordered to get an attorney that did nothing for me except got my boy back from him and given back to me after three long months of not seeing him. i able to do all that is necessary if the cost are low and reasonable.
p.s. this is in texas, montgomery county
thank you
k2u

[Edited by kitten2u2000 on 12-18-2000 at 03:30 AM]

you may want to contact a local DV shelter. they may be able to point you in the right direction. i went to one, and they directed me towards a local agency that provides free legal aid, but only if you qualify. check this option out, hope you get everything resolved, NOBODY ever deserves to get hit for ANY reason.

I am not an attorney, but give advice due to past experiences.

. i filed my own divorce but was ordered to get an attorney that did nothing for me except got my boy back from him and given back to me after three long months of not seeing him.


I have question about the statement you made in the above paragraph. Did you mean what you said up there? The attorney did NOTHING except GET MY BOY BACK? Do you really consider getting your boy back not worth getting an attorney for?

I would have done anything....

i would have done anything to get my son back but i believe that as good of mother as i am the judge would have seen through all his lies which he did so i would have been better with out the attorney fees if it was just the case of getting my son back but it was not it was much more than that that i had to prove to the judge so having the attorney there was ok but if there had just been a better attorney things would have been better and i would not still be in this position right now with him harrassing me and hitting on me when i have been divorced from him for so long

thank you
k2u

did you contact your local DV shelter? here's a number i received to help answer some questions, its nationwide, they may be able to refer you to someone in your area.
DV hotline: 1-800-799-7233
let me know, what they tell you.
have a great christmas and happy new year!

I am not an attorney, but give advice from personal research and experience.

Take the advice from the other people that posted and call that phone number they listed. If he continues to abuse you, the kids do notice. With them being young they think this is a normal way of living and there will be a good chance that they'll either end up like your ex or like you being abused. It's a vicious cycle and it's up to you to stop it now so you can bring you kids up to loving and caring adults. I wish you the best and take the first step for yourself and your children, please.

thanks for you concerns

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE NUMBER IT WILL OF GOOD USE WHEN HE HITS ME AGAIN BECAUSE UNLESS HE IS BEATING ME UP THE WOMENS SHELTER WILL NOT DO ANYTHING FOR ME.

SO CAN I SERVE HIM A RESTRAINING ORDER AT ANYTIME FOR HARRASSMENT OR DOES HE HAVE TO HIT ME? OR KILL ME SO I CAN MAKE HIM LEAVE ME ALONE.

THANK YOU
K2U

i would strongly urge to call the number, don't wait for the next time he hits you. when you are referred to a local shelter let them know your situation and you no longer want to be abused anymore. i found out if the children see the abuse, it may be considered child abuse. in AZ, my local shelter informed me that when my ex hit me when i was holding him is considered abuse towards the child because he could of easily hit our son. the shelter will give you handouts and will tell you how to get the restraining order. but, please get some help, for you and your children. i know how important and vital the extra help is, otherwise i would not be here now.

i am not an attorney, but give advice from research and personal experience.

navajostar

Help for me......

Never count on the judge seeing what a good mother you are!
I went to court with a phone conversation on tape that he knew about and was told by my lawyer that we couldn't use it because the anger in my voice evident.(He was threatening me!)
Anyway long story short HE showed up with only his family telling lies about how he used to wait on me hand and foot and clean the house.OH AND some pictures of the inside of our marital home in the aftermath of moving anywhere but in THAT house (LOCATED NEXT TO HIS MOTHER'S HOUSE WHERE HEWAS LIVING HAPPILY BILL AND RENT FREE)
Let me tell you this I thought my "natural goodness" would shine through too.I did get my son;thank GOD. But he got everything else.Our house is his now.
Everything in it is his .

shakeme and kitten2u2000

shakeme:
i'm a little concerned with what you said. are you upset at the fact that he got everything? if i were you, i would be more grateful then upset, you did get your son though. that's all that matters, right? i hope i didn't offend you, but that's what i get when i read your post.

kitten2u2000:
make sure you contact the DV shelter, they have law advocates there who can help you. here's another number you can call: 1-800-782-6400. it's a legal advocacy hotline
just remember that DV is about control, the abuser may be able to convince the judge that he is right and you are wrong, especially if the judge is male. here's my sit. my ex beat me while i was holding our baby. i had just got an apartment by myself, and he barged in and started hitting me for no reason. i have a bite mark on my fingers of the left hand. in order to get out to go to a neighbor's i slapped him. we were both arrested for DV, but the judge dismissed mine because i was defending myself. then the restraining order was filed.
remember i'm not condoning self defense with violence.

question: have you ever called the police after an incident?

Help for me....

No I beleive I said several times that I was thankful that I did get my son. I also believe that you said something similar to jimmy40. Let me assure you O condecending one that we both love our children very very much.I just think we lack the faith in the system that you hide behind.
No I didn't want a d*** thing from that sorry SOB! The system failed to see how selling the house and splitting the equity would aid the CUSTODTIAL parent in providing for the wellfair of the child.
The system is screwed up. WAKE UP!

Help for me....

Navajostar: I must apologise for the statement about remarks you made to jimmy40 as those remarks BY jimmy40. I have spent the last 2 years trying to prove that I am a fit mother.It just pisses me off that a person can pretend to make an intelligent judgement followed by an intelligent remark such as the one you made based solely upon ONE statement made another .That would be like me saying "YOU ARE EITHER A MAN OR A BUTCH" based solely upon the way you choose to voice your opinion.

I AM NOT A MAN OR BUTCH! i was brought up in a family were DV was a very common everyday fact in my home. my first relationship with a guy was in high school, he beat me and i never reported. i got out because he went into the marines and we never seen each other after that. my second relationship was with a guy i knew from high school. we had a child together, during my pregnancy i suffered severe emotional distress, physical, and verbal abuse everyday. it was during this relationship, that I WOKE UP and decided that i can either make the system work for me by going to places that specialized in DV, such as the DV shelter and filing a restraining order. i did all this and the system saw it my way because i did go through the proper resources and EDUCATED MYSELF against people who think that DV is BS. I have been away from that relationship for 5 years now, and i am grateful for the system. remember if you know how to go about it, the system can and will work for you, especially if someone other than a just a family law attorney is representing you. i went to court with an attorney and a legal advocate from a shelter and was able to accomplish what i needed. by not going through the right channels, you may end up looking bad.

i went through the proper channels to help my son more than myself because he doesn't deserve the same childhood as i did. he deserves a heck of a lot more and if that means using the system then so be it.

[Edited by navajostar on 12-19-2000 at 11:01 PM]