Restraining order mess

In Florida here,
My ex enacted a restraining order on me while still married. It was pretty specific as to contacting her(her home email only) and where we swap our sons 3&5. This was in Sept. Since then we have called each other and emailed each other at work and home. She has changed the dropoff point at her convinence and has left me messages saying to call her at home or office.
In late Oct I had some clothes of hers to drop at good will and I could not bring myself to do it. I dropped by her apt with the intention of leaving them on her back porch knowing she was at work. Little did I know her Boyfriend was there. Now after all this time she is charging me on it after I thought we straightened it out. And we are now divorced.
What can I possibly do here. I have custody of our kids and I think that is why she is doing this to possibly get them back??

I am not an attorney, just an observer here.

This is what I'd do immediately. Print out all emails you received from her. Hopefully you didn't delete them. Why did you go over there? Couldn't you have given her the clothes when you dropped off the kids if you didn't want to give them away?

Jimmie,
I happened to be going by and decided why not drop them off and let her know. I think it would have been ok but her boyfriend was sitting in the apt. I just left of course but he saw me and we both called my ex. She was pissed at first but then picked up the clothes at the sitter. Dumb part on me was I was going to just chuck them out of spite, but when doing it I could not. I threw them in the back of my truck and as I was passing her place decided to just drop them knowing she was not there. I have e-mails and phonemails from her, asking me to call her and change the order on the fly. I just wish I could convince her not to do this. It is a waste of time and money, we will both look stupid and I'm not sure what will happen to the kids..Thanks

The most important thing here is the kids. They see what's going on and it's hurting them probably more than it hurts you guys. Talk to your kids and explain it to them. Maybe not every detail. Very important not to put down your wife in front of them because that will hurt them also. My parents were divorced when I was 5. The only time I can remember them together was a fight my dad and her were having and my dad threatened to through a glass of water in her face. He never hit her. They got along better after the divorce. I understand the hostility probably still built up inside you, but you have to think how it will affect your boys. They are the most important thing in your life right now and it's up to you to show them right from wrong. People make mistakes. It's a way of learning. Learning is the key here. Put a picture of you boys in your car and everytime you think of doing something that isn't in your best interest, look at the picture and think how it will affect your sons. Sorry about the long reply. You seem like a nice guy and I wish you the best of luck.

Jim,
I have been nothing but kind and loving towards my now ex-wife. I realized after I did it that it was dumb but I was not there to cause trouble or make waves but now that our divorce is final she might try and get custody from me this way.
My kids only know that I love there mom, sappy but true. At 3&5 they are too young but my oldest knows this is true. Unfortuetly my ex is very toxic towards me. She is the one who had an affair, forced me to divorce her and gave up eevrything for her new guy and now still wants to have some control over me and is afraid I will move away with my boys. Jail is the last place I want to be and I'm hoping to avoid it and hoping the judge will see that I was only trying to please(dumbly) my then still wife. Thanks for the kind words..R

By the way, the reason she got the order is I did confront her bf at my home. It was not pretty but I had had enough at the time.

[Edited by Ronmon on 12-19-2000 at 02:08 PM]

I once had thought with my heart, causing violation of a civil protection order. I had an lawyer at the time and ended up having to pay $150.00 with a slap on hands not to go there again. You didn't do enough of a BAD violation of the law for your kids to get taken away from you. You made a common mistake, yet it's a misdemeanor, right? and you can and probably did/will learn from it. It doesn't appear to be cause enough to prove you an unfit parent.