Son in emotionally abusive relationship

My nephew is being emotionally abused by his wife. He has been married for 13 years now. She started with physical abuse and emotional abuse, now it is all emotional. They have 2 children and even though he works long hours he takes care of all the washing, cooking and cleaning for these children while she yells, makes demands, and threatens him that if he leaves she will sue him for abandonment. She calls home from work and tells the 2 children to clean the kitchen, vaccum, and have their rooms clean and that if her kitchen is not clean when she gets home they will be punished. These children are 9 and 10 and she expects them to do the kind of cleaning an adult would do.

He does not want to leave the children - but he knows the situation is becoming more voilatile . please give us some advice.

mccoy said:

My nephew is being emotionally abused by his wife. He has been married for 13 years now. She started with physical abuse and emotional abuse, now it is all emotional. They have 2 children and even though he works long hours he takes care of all the washing, cooking and cleaning for these children while she yells, makes demands, and threatens him that if he leaves she will sue him for abandonment. She calls home from work and tells the 2 children to clean the kitchen, vaccum, and have their rooms clean and that if her kitchen is not clean when she gets home they will be punished. These children are 9 and 10 and she expects them to do the kind of cleaning an adult would do.

He does not want to leave the children - but he knows the situation is becoming more voilatile . please give us some advice.

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The legal advice would be to file for legal seperation and temporary custody of the children due to her instability.

Is there ANY proof of this abuse ?

There are visible marks of her physical abuse such as a burn mark, cutting of his arm and behind his neck. Also at one time she even pointed a gun at him in the presence of her 2 year old- and when we visited because he had called us to come the child said "mommy pushed a gun at daddy". It is truly a sad situation. They live in North Carolina. Can he leave the state once he files for legal s eparation and temporary child custody, also he would need a restraing order because she would seek revenge. He was in an accident recently and she told him she wishes that he had died and then she and her children would be sitting pretty. By the way she works but he pays all the bills. He is a good provider - has stated to her that they should seek counseling for the marraige but she is unwilling. We live in Virginia he feels he needs to be where some of his family is at this time. Can he leave the state with the children?

mccoy said:

There are visible marks of her physical abuse such as a burn mark, cutting of his arm and behind his neck. Also at one time she even pointed a gun at him in the presence of her 2 year old- and when we visited because he had called us to come the child said "mommy pushed a gun at daddy". It is truly a sad situation. They live in North Carolina. Can he leave the state once he files for legal s eparation and temporary child custody, also he would need a restraing order because she would seek revenge. He was in an accident recently and she told him she wishes that he had died and then she and her children would be sitting pretty. By the way she works but he pays all the bills. He is a good provider - has stated to her that they should seek counseling for the marraige but she is unwilling. We live in Virginia he feels he needs to be where some of his family is at this time. Can he leave the state with the children?

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Leaving the state with the children would not be wise at this time. He need to go see an attorney, take all the proof he has and ask to have a legal seperation and temp custody petition drawn up. He can also apply for a restraining order at the same time. Have her served and for the police to escort her out of the house. He will need proof for that to happen though. Although it happens a lot of men, they would be unwilling to provide such orders unless there was good prove of the abuse.