Im exhaulsted with harrasment

I work in Md. for a multi-billion dollar company. The pay is good, good hrs, and good benefits. I have the most seniority of the 3 ladies I work with. I think my management has other ideas for my position and since I cant work either of the other two shifts for various reasons I feel my manager and supervisors are trying to push me out of the position in hopes that I quit. I have been with the co. for almost 9 yrs. and have seen how they much rather pressure a person into quitting then fire them. So for the past yr. 1/2 my manager/supervisors have been putting on the pressure, which after that much time I'm finding very difficult to bare anymore. I have been written-up for things not worth the time and paper its written on. Lied about and without the right that I have requested to approach my offenders and discuss in the presence of my mgr. to clarify truthful details on my behalf. They've schemed to leave me to run a center of about 70 drivers by myself without proper help and most of the time the work load is so much that by the end of my shift I am still working on things that I am told I cant get help on or leave until they are done. If something is forgotten the lady from the next shift is surely to pass the info on to my mgt as incomplete only to get another write-up and verbal chastization to go along with it. I have explained the work load they have me doing is much more than anyone else in the bldg. is required to do without help and more than any reasonable person can do. I have tried to improve in any area that might help make my job easier and satisfy them, but because of the damand they expect of me on a daily bases is too much I have explained I am and will continue to do my best, but they have repeatedly want more and I feel they provide a hostile environment to go with it. My supervisors over me rarely if ever offer to lend a hand even when they clearly see I am overwhelmed and becoming very stressed. They just act like they don't notice and refuse to offer guidance or help. Only to find any errors about brought back up to me later. They sometimes snap at me for no reason hoping to intimidate me. One time when I was brought in the office for something, I was about tired of hearing what I wasn't doing to their expectation. I have requested to be watched by another supervisor impartial to the center; who for 2 days noted every move I made (Which might I add is to work in front of a computer continually communicating with drivers, answ. 2 phones, and solving constant problems and only leaving to use the bathroom usually once a day. This is my normal routine) and in a meeting with the mgr. HR. and the observer her final verbal conclusion has noted me to be very efficient. But later on paper it was not noted as such somehow her opinion changed to the company's behalf. And they continue to find something else to complain and make my day miserable with. I know that I am the kind of person who puts my all in my work and gives no less of myself, therefore, I have stated to them on many, many occasions that I they truly feel I am not reaching their expectation and think that I am not working at an acceptable level, to replace me or leave me alone. I don't know how much more I can take I have told them this has been going on for more than a yr. now. It is well beyond a reasonable time in which they need to make a decision whether to keep me or not. I feel I am being harassed and ask to be left alone. They have not heeded to my request. As a result of this I have been having many symptoms of stress related to the job and mgt. pressure. I requested a copy of my file and all write-ups and complaint there in. With much resistance from them I was able to get my file and was very upset that there were accusations that were never brought to my attn. things that were written about me that were not completely true. (a construed truth.) When I ask to allow a meeting with my mgt. and the accuser over a three way call to discuss the incident to verify the fact and clarify the truth, my right was denied. I am not trying to say that I don't make mistakes because I know that I forget some things to do, but with the work load that I have on me almost everyday I tend to forget things. I have been feeling so stressed about all of this that it has effected my personal life with my family. I cry a lot, I wake during the night and unintentionally think about work than I cant fall back to sleep, I am aggravated at things and people for reasons I normally don't let bother me, I have a hard time lately concentrating at work, my verbal speech sometime doesn't come out right, i begin to stutter some of my phrases, I never had that problem before. memory loss due to info. overload, and the end of the day I sometimes cant explain to the other lady what occurred throughout the day in a clearly expectable way until I have walked away from the job long enough to clear my mind. There has even been some cases that when I under a lot of stress that I feel a slight ache in my heart area. What am I to do? Yesterday the work load was so overwhelming, there was no one who would or either could help me with some pretty serious situations. I am in a position of authority, as a part time sup. being under some much stress my thoughts locked up and I couldn't make a decent decision. I felt so useless. I always felt I could do anything once I put my mind to it. But this co. is stripping me of my will, pride, and confidence that I was hired with. I have had enough they wont leave me alone, fire me, or replace me. I not only want my job but I want to be compensated for all the mental anguish they put me through. Regardless of the write-ups because they are not willing to take a position here to replace or leave me along as I have requested many times and this has been going on for over a yr. now...Do I have a case to sue. I intend to sue this huge company to the max for what they are putting me through and as long as I am there they will continue it, but I refuse to give up my job that took me many hard working year to get.

Sincerely,- Curious1

Get out. Get out now before you end up on Prozac or worse, have a heart attack. No job is worth your mental/physical health. There are plenty of jobs out there, albeit maybe not at the pay/benefits you have "enjoyed." Depending on your age, 9 years is not a lot of an investment. Find some place that offers life enhancing benefits!

Here's a plan. Get a professional resume put together. On your days off apply for jobs that interest you and check out the other people who work there. Ask them questions about thier work environment. Get the new job first before you quit. Then quit. No notice or nothing. Then take a week or two off before you start the next job to clear your head and just relax. That will be a better way to pay them back. If you sue them, it might be difficult to win if they have a bunch of write ups and people lying to condemn your work. If you've been doing the job for nine years it will difficult to replace you with a competent person. Then send letters to all the Board of Directors and management of the company of the way you were treated. Give names. Important, you need to have another job before you do this. Put a journal together and use dates of occurances. Good luck.

This is only a suggestion as I am not any kind of lawyer or counselor.

I feel your pain

I'm not a lawyer, but just another person reading your post. Somewhere along the line, you need to realize that you owe yourself first, the love and dedication you obviously give this job. Start to think of yourself as your main occupation in life...not slaving in a stressful position for people who obviously don't give a damn. I cannot stress this strongly enough...be your own best friend and find another position. We only get one shot at life...do you want to recall your life looking back at this miserable situation? Good pay and hours, etc. are not worth losing your health and well-being over. If you cannot change this situation...then get out of the situation. Realize, however, in the next postion that you have control in your life and you need to start exerting that control and not allowing negative situations like this one to dominate your life to this point. You have the power inside..find it and use it. Good Luck.

After reading your post and the answers, I have to agree with the other posters. I had a job that I felt they just couldn't do without me. I worked 75 hours a week and I wasn't doing anyone any good. Sure the work was done, but my happy little personality was gone. The place runs today without me. I have been gone for 6 years now and I can honestly say that I feel like I have recouperated from a death. I went through the same stages, denial, anger, and finally belief and acceptance. I feel you are wanting all of us to say, stick it out, but we who have been there, realize that there is much more to life. If you died tomorrow, that company would call in Suzie Q from the junior company, pay her half of what you are being paid and she would continue the job. If you are stuttering and suffering sleeplessness, then the stress is getting to you. Listen to your body. I got so stressed out that when my company sent me traveling from place to place to keep me occupied while they were moving someone into my position, I fell asleep at the motel and didn't wake up for 24 hours. Now that was scary. That is how tired I was. I missed the meeting but I was rested enough to make some decisions for myself. I was fooling myself into believing that this job rested on my shoulders. I hated the city I was in (and transferred to), my children were strangers and my husband stayed angry that I was never home. I went back without showing up for the so called important meeting and prepared my speech for saving my life. It turns out they were deciding to get me out of the way anyway. At this meeting, they threatened me and I had been there long enough that I threatened back. When they knew what I knew about there operations would murder them in court, we came to an agreement. I left a month and a half later. The depression came upon me later, but my speech improved (I had the same symptoms as you) and I was able to sleep at night. I went to the doctor and a year of anti-depressants helped me back on track. I surrounded myself with only positive people and conversations and refused to think about my 8 years of hell I endured. I changed careers for a while and I am back in a similar profession now, but with a renewed attitude. No company owns me. I am in charge of my life, happy, confident and positive. I urge you to think about the future consequences of enduring much more of this stress. Take the previous posters advice. It is good and I wish I would have had a computer and had access to this advice when I was going through what you are.

Another thought...you know you are in trouble and that is why you wrote... listen to yourself, you are never wrong. I hope that next year brings you many more of happiness and joy in your life. Make some good choices for yourself.

Always Searching -- very, very good. I'm printing it out and keeping it! I will continuously read it when I get into the original poster's situation -- which might not be too long from now.

Thank you Always Searching

Thank you for personalizing exactly what I was trying to share with Curious1. You're right about having computers now to get adice and I also wish I had one when I was learning this lesson. One thing that computers cannot do, however, and that is to provide a way so that I could give you both a great big hug to go along with the advice! One more thing I would share with Curious1 is to use those benefits right now and seek some medical advice so she is not going through without help. I think she knows now that she isn't alone. Merry Christmas to you both.

Lousy Job

I agree with all posters. This company goes by the Golden Rule. He who holds the gold makes the rule. Get out of this job and find a line of work that you would find satisfying. There is more to life than enduring this kind of negative feedback for your efforts. I'm sure there are many other things that you are able to do that would mean more to you even if you had to adjust your style of living. Health is so much more important. Hope you find the future better than you have the past. Good Luck.