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CA-can I get an annulment

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jay224

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? CA

My husband and I never consummated our marriage, been married for 1 year and 11 months. Never even had sex while dating for 3 years. After telling him I want a divorce (for other reasons), he tells me the reason we haven't had sex is coz he has always had "hang ups" about sex and has never been comfortable with his body. He only tells me this after we got married. All the time while we were dating, I thought he was refraining from having sex because he's this old fashioned romantic guy who was saving it for our wedding night. So, do you think I can get an annulment based on fraud?
 


S

shell007

Guest
My husband and I never consummated our marriage, been married for 1 year and 11 months.
Not trying to be funny...but...ARE YOU SERIOUS????
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
jay224 said:
What is the name of your state? CA

My husband and I never consummated our marriage, been married for 1 year and 11 months. Never even had sex while dating for 3 years. After telling him I want a divorce (for other reasons), he tells me the reason we haven't had sex is coz he has always had "hang ups" about sex and has never been comfortable with his body. He only tells me this after we got married. All the time while we were dating, I thought he was refraining from having sex because he's this old fashioned romantic guy who was saving it for our wedding night. So, do you think I can get an annulment based on fraud?
I have no idea whether or not that is grounds for an annulment in CA. However, a divorce is usually quicker, easy, cleaner and less expensive than an annulment.
 

jay224

Junior Member
ridiculous

Yes, I'm serious about my situation. So does anyone out there think that my reason constitutes as fraud?
 

AHA

Senior Member
jay224 said:
What is the name of your state? CA

My husband and I never consummated our marriage, been married for 1 year and 11 months. Never even had sex while dating for 3 years. After telling him I want a divorce (for other reasons), he tells me the reason we haven't had sex is coz he has always had "hang ups" about sex and has never been comfortable with his body. He only tells me this after we got married. All the time while we were dating, I thought he was refraining from having sex because he's this old fashioned romantic guy who was saving it for our wedding night. So, do you think I can get an annulment based on fraud?
Maybe he's gay, but is afraid to come out of the closet :confused: . Never met a man that wasn't up for sex at anytime, anywhere.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
LdiJ said:
I have no idea whether or not that is grounds for an annulment in CA. However, a divorce is usually quicker, easy, cleaner and less expensive than an annulment.
Why do you continue to do this, rush to answer a CA queation when you don't even know the answer? This and your other CA response are the reasons why IAAL asked you not to respond to the CA questions.
 

ceara19

Senior Member
rmet4nzkx said:
Why do you continue to do this, rush to answer a CA queation when you don't even know the answer? This and your other CA response are the reasons why IAAL asked you not to respond to the CA questions.
Aside from the fact that you have offered no helpful information, the answer given by LdiJ is correct. Divorce is almost always cheaper, easier and faster in just about EVERY state.

As to the OP's actual question, no, you cannot get an annulment in California based on fraud because he cannot or won't consummate the marriage. You CAN get an annulment on the grounds of Incapacity (spouse or partner was and continues to be physically unable to consummate the marriage or partnership).

You MAY be able to get a Summary Dissolution of the marriage. It is basically just a very quick divorce. You would need to meet all of these requirements.
* Have no children together;
* Have been married or been a registered domestic partners less than 5 years;
* Don't own or have an interest in any real estate;
* Don't owe more than $4,000 in debts; and
* Have no disagreements about how your belongings and debts are going to be divided up once you are no longer married to each other.

If you don't meet all of the above requirements, while you do have good cause for annulment, it is often a lengthy and expensive process. Unless there are strong personal or religious reasons for an annulment, divorce is normally the better option.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
jay224 said:
What is the name of your state? CA

My husband and I never consummated our marriage, been married for 1 year and 11 months. Never even had sex while dating for 3 years. After telling him I want a divorce (for other reasons), he tells me the reason we haven't had sex is coz he has always had "hang ups" about sex and has never been comfortable with his body. He only tells me this after we got married. All the time while we were dating, I thought he was refraining from having sex because he's this old fashioned romantic guy who was saving it for our wedding night. So, do you think I can get an annulment based on fraud?
Yes, you can get a get an annulment based on fraud as long as you meet the criteria for nulity.
While his failure to disclose his psychological basis for lack of consumation would be fraud, the next question a judge would ask you is when did he finally disclose his reason and then what did you do?

Grounds for Termination of Marriage

There are only two legal grounds for, Dissolution of marriage in California. The first is "irreconcilable differences," meaning the marriage or partnership cannot be saved. The other reason is "incurable insanity" which, unlike irreconcilable differences, must be proven.

If you are seeking a nullity of marriage, you will need to prove in a court hearing that your marriage satisfies one of the grounds listed below. These must have applied at the time you and your spouse married:

* Incest: incest means the spouses are close blood relatives.
* Bigamy: bigamy means a spouse was knowingly married or registered to another person at the time of marriage.
* Underage: underage means a spouse was below age 18 years at the time of marriage and did not obtain parental consent or a court order permitting the marriage.
* Prior Existing Marriage means a spouse married on the mistaken belief that his or her previous marriage had ended in the death of the other spouse who in fact was still living.
* Unsound Mind: unsound mind means a spouse or partner could not and has not formed the intent to marry due to a mental condition.
* Fraud: fraud means deception regarding a significant matter that led to the marriage continued until the breakup.
* Force: force means threats or acts of harm were used to force one spouse into the marriage.
* Incapacity: incapacity means a spouse was and continues to be physically unable to consummate the marriage.
Depending on the level of proof that you have you have two other options a summary or a regular dissolution.

A summary dissolution is a quick way to get divorced. But not everybody can use it. Briefly, a summary dissolution is possible for you and your spouse if you:

* Have no children together;
* Have been married less than 5 years;
* Don't own or have an interest in any real estate;
* Don't owe more than $4,000 in debts; and
* Have no disagreements about how your belongings and debts are going to be divided up once you are no longer married to each other. THis means that you will have to both agree and cooporate in this process however the cost is minimal and is often done by the couples pro per.

Dissolution of Marriage (Divorce), terminates the marriage of the spouses and resolves issues between them, including child custody, visitation, child support, spousal support, asset and debt division, former name restoration, and even restraining orders. AS you said there were other issues as well, this could be the route you chose to take. You may retain a family law attorney or use the Family Law Facilitators office to assist with filling out your forms and answer basic questions. Please also check the self help section of your county superior court site for more information. http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/

A civil annulment is different than a religious annulment.
 
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rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
ceara19 said:
Aside from the fact that you have offered no helpful information, the answer given by LdiJ is correct. Divorce is almost always cheaper, easier and faster in just about EVERY state.
I was responding to Ldij in the post, not you and I was preparing a detailed and CORRECT response to OP. Failure to consumate may or not be grounds that is why there is a hearing, it may or not be fraud, the fraud is not so much in the failure to consumate but rather in the failure to disclose the fact that they for what ever reason could not consumate. The length of time that OP has known, may be a factor as are the other reasons.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
rmet4nzkx said:
Why do you continue to do this, rush to answer a CA queation when you don't even know the answer? This and your other CA response are the reasons why IAAL asked you not to respond to the CA questions.
In the first place Rmet, IAAL is obviously not in control of this board. In the second place, the OP had the right to know that generally its quicker, easier and less expensive to get divorced.
 

jay224

Junior Member
:(

First and foremost, I truly appreciate all the advice and guidance. I’m getting ready to file the divorce papers. We just leased a vehicle, he was the applicant and I was the co-applicant. The car is used primarily by myself, and I make the monthly car payments. What exactly will happen to the car lease?
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
jay224 said:
First and foremost, I truly appreciate all the advice and guidance. I’m getting ready to file the divorce papers. We just leased a vehicle, he was the applicant and I was the co-applicant. The car is used primarily by myself, and I make the monthly car payments. What exactly will happen to the car lease?
Here is a link to the California courts self help page where you should find links to forms or other information to assist you whether you file for Summary dissolution, Regular Dissolusion, Annulment or Legal Separation, all require financial disclosure statements.http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/family/divorce/step3.htm
If you are filing, Pro Per, the cost will be virtually the same whether you file for Annulment or Dissolution as long as you agree and cooporate, the cost will be minimal essentially filing fees and some court costs. Mediation is available. It would be wise for you to visit the self help site and the Family Law Facilitator's office before you file, as they can provide answers to most of your questions and check your filings.

A car lease is a financial obligation but it is not ownership, you would need to prove that you have been paying insurance and lease even though he was placed as primary since you were both legally married. He could argue that it is his car and obligation even though you drvie it or visa versa, you may want to check with the leasing company, especially if you do not qualify on your own to lease the car and you are forced to renegotiate or terminate the lease. This could be a factor in exactly how you chose to file to end your marriage. If you two can agree then either an annulment or summary dissolusion would cost you less than a regular dissolution if one party contests, even if you go pro per.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
LdiJ said:
In the first place Rmet, IAAL is obviously not in control of this board. In the second place, the OP had the right to know that generally its quicker, easier and less expensive to get divorced.
IAAL's point in asking you to cease from answering CA law questions is that your responses are feckless at best when they are not wrong. You waste everyone's time when you do that and it can harm OP when your quick response is wrong and they leave here with the mistaken belief that someone with knowledge of CA law has correctly answered their quesiton. It's irrelevant what your opinion is re annulment vs divorce in general if your answer is wrong or isn't responsive to OP's question.
I took the time and answered OP's question re annulment and provided her options including the 2 types of divorce available, in fact an annulment can be handled pro per and for the same cost as summary dissolution and LESS than regular divorce, all "divorce" actions in CA still include financial disclousure statements so property settlements are addressed.
 

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