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Divorced & living with Ex Need help

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KAD

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? GA
I am posting for my brother. He and his wife divorced in 1990. Got back together a year later and have lived together as husband and wife ever since, but they never remarried. She is now wanting him to leave (son is going off to college). Does anybody have a clue what his rights will be?
I researched the common law would stand in Ga as long as it was before 1997 which he would fall into. At 48 years old he is scared he will have to leave with the shirt on his back.
Please help
Thanks.
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
KAD said:
What is the name of your state? GA
I am posting for my brother. He and his wife divorced in 1990. Got back together a year later and have lived together as husband and wife ever since, but they never remarried. She is now wanting him to leave (son is going off to college). Does anybody have a clue what his rights will be?
I researched the common law would stand in Ga as long as it was before 1997 which he would fall into. At 48 years old he is scared he will have to leave with the shirt on his back.
Please help
Thanks.
Tell him to go get a consult with a local attorney. However, it certainly seems like he could assert that a common law marriage exists.

Why does he fear having to leave with only the shirt on his back? Has your sister in law been the sole support of the family? If so, why?
 

KAD

Junior Member
Hi, No, he has always worked and supported the family equally as his ex. Fact is, I dont think anyone even knows they actually got a divorce years ago except family. People think they are a married couple.
They go on vacation together, family functions together etc. They have made all kinds of upgrades and renovations to their home together over the years. I dont know their finances but I know he gives her a certain amount of money each week for the household bills, etc. They have always kept seperate checking, saving accounts, even before they divorced.
Her sister had told my brother that she had taken him back because of his income and now that the son is off to college and the house is almost paid for etc. she told him that she was going to do some checking. She keeps throwing up in his face that they are divorced and the divorce decree from 1990 gives her the marital home. My brother only had to pay child support from the divorce and nothing else. However, they got back together in 1991, so for the past 15 or so years he has helped pay off everything and now that she is sitting comfortable so to speak. She thinks she can just tell him to leave and he has to go whenever she gets ready.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Actually he might. And common law marriage is NOT just as simple as two people living together. They must have held themselves out as being married and presented themselves as husband and wife -- filing tax returns as married and so on and so forth. She may be able to argue that he was a tenant and the moneys he paid was rent. Is he on the deed and/or mortgage? Or did she refinance when given the house in the divorce? If not then he can argue he owns the house as well.
 

KAD

Junior Member
Yes, his name is on the mortgage. They had paid off everything and in 2002 they got a new mortgage and made upgrades and added onto their house and they both signed the note. The house payment is mailed to the house in his name. He deposits a weekly amount directly into her account by check each week and she pays the bills. I want to say that they have always kept seperate checking, etc since they got married so that didnt just change when they divorced. Their agreement has always been that he kept so much from his check and gave her the rest and she paid all the bills.

No one but just a few members of family know that the divorce even went through in 1990. They got back together so fast that people just thought they had seperated and reconciled.
The introduce each other as husband and wife. Their son doesnt even know they are divorced. Thats how quiet it has been kept!!! He was an infant when it happened and they never told him.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
KAD said:
Yes, his name is on the mortgage. They had paid off everything and in 2002 they got a new mortgage and made upgrades and added onto their house and they both signed the note. The house payment is mailed to the house in his name. He deposits a weekly amount directly into her account by check each week and she pays the bills. I want to say that they have always kept seperate checking, etc since they got married so that didnt just change when they divorced. Their agreement has always been that he kept so much from his check and gave her the rest and she paid all the bills.

No one but just a few members of family know that the divorce even went through in 1990. They got back together so fast that people just thought they had seperated and reconciled.
The introduce each other as husband and wife. Their son doesnt even know they are divorced. Thats how quiet it has been kept!!! He was an infant when it happened and they never told him.
Well being on the mortgage means he is legally responsible but is he on the deed? With his name on the mortgage he can take her back to court to force her to refinance and try to recoup some of the money -- that is try and not a guarantee. If he is on the deed as well then he is probably a part owner of the house (Depending on hwo he is listed on the deed). That is important. Is he on the deed as well?
As for holding themselves out as married -- did they portray themselves as married officially -- filing joint tax returns and such. Filing as married (and separate) or did they state they were single when they filed? That will come into play. What other people assume is not as important as to how the couple portrayed themselves in official ways. And lying to their child is not a smart thing. How is junior going to feel when he finds out his parents have been divorced for 16 years?
 

nextwife

Senior Member
If they did the mortgage docs as married, that is written evidence that he and she represented each other each other as H&W.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
nextwife said:
If they did the mortgage docs as married, that is written evidence that he and she represented each other each other as H&W.
I think that the wife would have a hard time denying that a common law marriage existed in this case. Even if they didn't file joint tax returns or didn't do the mortgage docs as married (but I suspect that you are right, I suspect that they did).
 

KAD

Junior Member
Thank you all for your responses. I found out that when they seperated and divorced, she never refinanced the house so both of their names are on the deed.
It has been so many years ago, my brother is now wondering if they ever got a divorce. He was served and signed seperation papers but says he never remembering signing divorce papers & never received a copy of divorce papers.
He lives in a small town and doesnt want to go to probate to investigate it just yet in case it doesnt come to splitting up. They are still living together.
So...if the case is only that they filed seperation papers in 1990 and are actually not even divorced. what would that mean? Would the seperation papers be null & void since so much time has passed?
They have never filed taxes together (on the advice of their tax preparer) They have always gotten more back by filing seperately. This was pre divorce and after divorce.
I finally just asked him if he even wanted to stay in the relationship and I think he is actually about ready to let her go. He has very low self esteem and has basically put up with a lot over the years because he loves her. He just doesnt want to walk away and lose everything that he has worked so hard for over the years.
She told him today that she was going to seek some legal advice to see what her options were. He is thinking of trying to buy her share out or vice versa if he even has a right too.
They have been together since 1985 and were only apart for 1 year during the seperation divorce period. Thats why no one even know they are divorced.
 

ceara19

Senior Member
KAD said:
Thank you all for your responses. I found out that when they seperated and divorced, she never refinanced the house so both of their names are on the deed.
It has been so many years ago, my brother is now wondering if they ever got a divorce. He was served and signed seperation papers but says he never remembering signing divorce papers & never received a copy of divorce papers.
He lives in a small town and doesnt want to go to probate to investigate it just yet in case it doesnt come to splitting up. They are still living together.
So...if the case is only that they filed seperation papers in 1990 and are actually not even divorced. what would that mean? Would the seperation papers be null & void since so much time has passed?
They have never filed taxes together (on the advice of their tax preparer) They have always gotten more back by filing seperately. This was pre divorce and after divorce.
I finally just asked him if he even wanted to stay in the relationship and I think he is actually about ready to let her go. He has very low self esteem and has basically put up with a lot over the years because he loves her. He just doesnt want to walk away and lose everything that he has worked so hard for over the years.
She told him today that she was going to seek some legal advice to see what her options were. He is thinking of trying to buy her share out or vice versa if he even has a right too.
They have been together since 1985 and were only apart for 1 year during the seperation divorce period. Thats why no one even know they are divorced.
He wouldn't have necessarily have had to sign the divorce papers. All he needs to do is go to the county courthouse where the divorce was filed and ask for a copy of the divorce decree. There may be a small copy fee, but if there was never a final decree issued, it won't cost him a dime. Whether he wants to stay with her or not, he needs to find out if they are still married and if not, what was ordered in the divorce. For all he knows, the judge gave HIM the house.

If the divorce was never finalized, he needs to get a copy of the separation papers filed with the court. It may or may not still be valid, but he can't find out without reading the agreement.

If SHE doesn't even know, they are probably still married.
 

chitown

Member
Coming from recent experience and from a former marriage with separately maintained finances, please allow me to provide some suggestions regarding any monies transfered to the spouse. Request a receipt for any cash provided as memories can become fuzzy when necessary. Do NOT give checks to her directly. Instead, mail or deposit in the bank she uses. Cashing of checks and hording cash can be prevented. This cash also never seems to appear on financial statements which could increase one spouse;s equitable distribution to the other falsely. Finally, is one spouse very protective of their bank statements i.e. not wanting to show or have the other spouse see? From my experience, is a sure sign of something amiss. Good luck.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
chitown said:
Coming from recent experience and from a former marriage with separately maintained finances, please allow me to provide some suggestions regarding any monies transfered to the spouse. Request a receipt for any cash provided as memories can become fuzzy when necessary. Do NOT give checks to her directly. Instead, mail or deposit in the bank she uses. Cashing of checks and hording cash can be prevented. This cash also never seems to appear on financial statements which could increase one spouse;s equitable distribution to the other falsely. Finally, is one spouse very protective of their bank statements i.e. not wanting to show or have the other spouse see? From my experience, is a sure sign of something amiss. Good luck.
What does that have to do with the OPs question?
 

chitown

Member
I was hoping my experiences could potentially help or make person aware of actions not contemplated. Her initial posting of her Bros. and spouse situation was very close in facts and details compared to my own. I wish I would have known what could (and ultimately did happen) transpire with regards to cash before it occurred. It hopefully will be irrelevant.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Your post had NOTHING to do with the OP. First of all the OP is not involved in this situation at all. Second, there was nothing asked about checking accounts, paying money or anything else. It was about a house. Third, you took it off on a tangent. Your post was irrelevant as it did not center upon anything of concern to the OP who truthfully is not involved in this situation and cannot DO anything. This questions WAS NOT about monies transferred to the spouse. There is a question as to whether or not they can prove if they were a spouse and what happens to the HOUSE. Not monies. And it will probably take a court to sort it out before ANYTHING can transpire legally with the house.
 

KAD

Junior Member
Thank you all for your responses.
I am searching for information to be able to pass on to my brother. I actually have already suggested he make sure he keeps good financial records himself to show the monies that he gives her.
He does think that she will be seeing an attorney on friday. So. I guess he will go from there. If it appears to be in her favor, I am sure she will inform him and he can then seek an attorney himself.
He reread his seperation papers. There is not a date or anything of expire on it. Ironically, the papers state the land belongs to him and the mobile home belongs to her! I am sure that will turn out to be interesting since they have completely remodeled and there is absolutely no way it can be moved with an added poolhouse and pool attached now. He also owns an additional acre of land along side the land they live on which is in his name only that my parents gave to him before my father died in 1994.

oh, I forgot, the seperation papers did state the she would have access to live on the land given to my brother until my nephew is 18 years of age. He is now 18. I am assuming she doesnt have a clue like my brother now.
 
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