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Evil Abusive, Lying, Cheating husband.....

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babydollnc

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? North Carolina
My husband and I have been separated for 11 mos now & he is currently in the MN Army National Guard, I live in NC. Out of our three years of marriage he has been abusive both mentally and physically.He has punched, kicked, choked and slapped me and slung me around, prevented me from leaving our home/bedroom. Assaulted me with his fist. Has been arrested 4 times in less than a year & I could NOT testify against him b/c of his threats and intimidation. The cops have been to my home and former home a total of 11 times. My kids have witnesses arguments and him throwing me around & breaking things. Not to mention screaming and cursing me. He is addicted to porn & yahoo chat rooms, over the three years I have caught him talking to other women not only online but on the phone. In one case he showed his penis to a woman he was talking to. He calls singles lines off TV when I was at work & best of all he joins websites like hi5.com secretly and has SINGLE as his marital status. I asked him to leave last Ausgust 2005 and he went to MN and joined back in the military since then I have lived in peace and decided i want a divorce. When my hubby doesn't get what he wants he flips out and calls me a whore/slut/Bit@h and other nasty names. He made a fake profile up and put my pic and home phone number in it and told all i wanted men to call for sex which they did. Right now it has been 11 mos of separation and he knows it is really over now. I am a stay at home mom of three the youngest being his(2) & I have very limited funds. He has just filed papers against me for Custody, Child Support, Infidelity & Divorce plus all Attorney's Fee's. He is the only one employed (Military) & I have put up with being called a cheater & slut the whole marriage even though i only went to work and back. He has hired a lawyer and I have only two weeks to get free legal counsel. In the mean time I am not alod any friends male/female near my child(2) not alcohol in my home. i am not sure what he has told his lawyer but I feel like I am being screwed by the whole system. This man is crazy & it would take me hours to tell all the stuff he has done. not to mention right now as we speak he is on ALL the personal sites looking for women & trying to get me for Adultry to whom which this guy is just a friend. I am not sure what else to do. I do have all the profiles printed out & being that we are still married hope I can use it against him along with phones bills of the women. I am not sure if that all falls under adultry or intent to commit adutry. Does anyone know? I am going crazy here.:( :(
 


Silverplum

Senior Member
babydollnc said:
What is the name of your state? North Carolina
My husband and I have been separated for 11 mos now & he is currently in the MN Army National Guard, I live in NC. Out of our three years of marriage he has been abusive both mentally and physically.He has punched, kicked, choked and slapped me and slung me around, prevented me from leaving our home/bedroom. Assaulted me with his fist. Has been arrested 4 times in less than a year & I could NOT testify against him b/c of his threats and intimidation. The cops have been to my home and former home a total of 11 times. My kids have witnesses arguments and him throwing me around & breaking things. Not to mention screaming and cursing me. He is addicted to porn & yahoo chat rooms, over the three years I have caught him talking to other women not only online but on the phone. In one case he showed his penis to a woman he was talking to. He calls singles lines off TV when I was at work & best of all he joins websites like hi5.com secretly and has SINGLE as his marital status. I asked him to leave last Ausgust 2005 and he went to MN and joined back in the military since then I have lived in peace and decided i want a divorce. When my hubby doesn't get what he wants he flips out and calls me a whore/slut/Bit@h and other nasty names. He made a fake profile up and put my pic and home phone number in it and told all i wanted men to call for sex which they did. Right now it has been 11 mos of separation and he knows it is really over now. I am a stay at home mom of three the youngest being his(2) & I have very limited funds. He has just filed papers against me for Custody, Child Support, Infidelity & Divorce plus all Attorney's Fee's. He is the only one employed (Military) & I have put up with being called a cheater & slut the whole marriage even though i only went to work and back. He has hired a lawyer and I have only two weeks to get free legal counsel. In the mean time I am not alod any friends male/female near my child(2) not alcohol in my home. i am not sure what he has told his lawyer but I feel like I am being screwed by the whole system. This man is crazy & it would take me hours to tell all the stuff he has done. not to mention right now as we speak he is on ALL the personal sites looking for women & trying to get me for Adultry to whom which this guy is just a friend. I am not sure what else to do. I do have all the profiles printed out & being that we are still married hope I can use it against him along with phones bills of the women. I am not sure if that all falls under adultry or intent to commit adutry. Does anyone know? I am going crazy here.:( :(
So he has already filed for divorce in Minnesota? Here's two links, one for MN, and one for NC:

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/north_carolina/north_carolina_grounds_for_divorce

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/minnesota/minnesota_grounds_for_divorce

You might want to do some reading around -- adultery doesn't matter in the courts anymore in most states. In NC it is one of many grounds, but it's too late for you to file in NC. In MN, it doesn't matter.
 

babydollnc

Junior Member
Nc

Actually he filed in NC, even though he's in Ft Benning GA at the moment waiting for Knee surgery before he goes to Iraq. He was in MN from Aug 05-Oct 05 in which they deployed him to MS for training until March 06 they sent him to GA med hold. (MNANG)
 

babydollnc

Junior Member
Thanks for replying...
What makes this so crazy is ...his grounds for Divorce are:
1.Adultry
2.Throwing him out of doors.
3.Offering such indignities to the person of the other as to render his or her condition intolerable and life burdensome

Funny things is I haven't cheated & he's the one that beat me & has been arrested for it. I had to kick him out b/c I don't have to live with an abuser plus Social Services could have taken my kids away if I had stayed (Child Endangerment) if you stay with an abuser. I think he is the dumbest person on earth. I am mad but he's just plain CRAZY!
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
babydollnc said:
Thanks for replying...
What makes this so crazy is ...his grounds for Divorce are:
1.Adultry
2.Throwing him out of doors.
3.Offering such indignities to the person of the other as to render his or her condition intolerable and life burdensome

Funny things is I haven't cheated & he's the one that beat me & has been arrested for it. I had to kick him out b/c I don't have to live with an abuser plus Social Services could have taken my kids away if I had stayed (Child Endangerment) if you stay with an abuser. I think he is the dumbest person on earth. I am mad but he's just plain CRAZY!
You really NEED an attorney. If you can't come up with the money on your own then you need to find a way to borrow the money.

With his background and the fact that he is soon to be deployed to IRAQ he shouldn't have any chance at primary custody. However, if you don't have an attorney to properly represent you, and he does, then you could lose.
 

Gracie3787

Senior Member
In addition to the other replies, I'd like to point out that while married you have the luxury of being a stay at home mom, however, as a divorcee, you probably won't have that option and may be required to either get a job or have income imputed to you. Even if your husband is ordered to pay alimony in addition to CS, the reality may be that it still won't be enough for you and kids to live on.
 

juliejulie

Junior Member
Maybe this will help...

Ma'am:

http://www.sanctuaryforfamilies.org/legalservices.htm

http://www.womenslaw.org/

I hope this helps. I'm going to reread your "military spouse" situation. I work for the Army. All I can do is ask around. There was a soldier here who wasn't providing for his family. He gave his wife $200 a month. His chain of command found out. I have since learned (not knowing before), that the spouse is entitled to ALL of the BAH. That's what it's there for. I'm assuming if he is still married, when he goes to Iraq. That money is yours and apparently his chain can enforce it. There's your money for an attorney.

Now I'm NOT an attorney. I'm NOT an expert. I'm NOT even in the military anymore. I'm just going by what I see and have heard. But I can try find out for your if you really need to go down this road.

Also, I didn't study all comments and suggestions. Sorry if I missed or misunderstood anything posted. I was just skimming through and thought I would comment.

But DON'T underestimate what his chain of command and Army Family Readiness Group can do for you. There is also military legal counsel. Not sure just exactly what the situation is at this moment.

Good luck sister.
 

ceara19

Senior Member
Gracie3787 said:
In addition to the other replies, I'd like to point out that while married you have the luxury of being a stay at home mom, however, as a divorcee, you probably won't have that option and may be required to either get a job or have income imputed to you. Even if your husband is ordered to pay alimony in addition to CS, the reality may be that it still won't be enough for you and kids to live on.
But you're forgetting about the older children's father(s). Multiple child support checks have probably been the reason she has been able to be a SAHM for the past 11 months. ;)
 

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