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divorce/child support

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kekepania

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? LA

Is it possiable to obtain a divorce In Louisiana without requesting Child Support?

Also, can we the parents decide what custody we want? As well as the visitation? And the rights to the legal stuff, such as schools, doctors, and extra curricular activities?
 
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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
kekepania said:
What is the name of your state? LA

Is it possiable to obtain a divorce In Louisiana without requesting Child Support?

Also, can we the parents decide what custody we want? As well as the visitation? And the rights to the legal stuff, such as schools, doctors, and extra curricular activities?
Judges are not going to let you waive child support unless there are good legal reasons for not having paid now (income and time is the same/similar and therefore it would be a wash). Parents can decide on visitation schedules however the rights to legal stuff? If you mean access -- NO. That is determined by law including federal law.
 

kekepania

Junior Member
My husband is one of those men whose mentality of child support is skewed. He doesnt see it as reimbursement, nor does he see that weither its cash from him or him paying the bill, that the money goes to the same place.

We have been seperated for 8 months, and we have come up with him paying 3 bills, which in total, I believe is more than he would have to pay via the courts. I have explained this to him, but he would rather know "his" money was going to a bill and not in my pocket. Again his thinking is skewed, and stems from how his own mother screwed over his father. He has already told me, " I will not give you money, I will quit my job, work under the table, and would rather go to jail." pretty much verbatim.

I am really not interested in rocking the boat to much. As we are co parenting wonderfully, and getting along well. And he does help with things, such as making repairs around the house, buying things the children may need if I fall short.

Could a judge, since it seems that some sort of support would be granted, could it be wrote that he continue to pay the bills he pays now? he choose these bills. 1 is a car payment, that is in his name, but was also his choice to buy, as "he wanted a safe car to transport the kids", the other is the light bill, and the telephone bill. Both of which he sees as a benefit of his children. And he pays half my mothers gas bill, i pay the other half as she is our caregiver, and watches them free of charge, but with gas prices the way they are we insisted on paying her that as she drives 60 miles round trip to and from my house 5 days a aweek.

He has All of us on his heatlh insurance, I just give him what it cost to cover me, as since we are still married it can be done, and my job doesnt offer it. this isnt family law but does anyone know if after the divorce he can still carry me as long as we both agree and I pay my portion? I have been diagnosed with Lupus, and now have a pre-exisiting condition getting Heatkh insurance is going to be hard.

And by legal stuff, I meant that we would both need to agree to certain things, But I am thinking this would fall under joint legal at 50/50. The children would remain living with me, as he works weird and late hours, and with him having unlimited visitation, the way that it is now. He gets his schedule and travel itenary a week in advance and he will call share them with me, and we hash out what can be done. He spends as much of his free time as he can with the kids, and I would never want to impeed that. But I do want the holiday schedule mapped out. As in every other holiday.

Does this sound like somethng that can be done? I want the best situation for our children and that would be with the least amount of fighting between dad and myself. But I also want to be divorced and free of the legalities of being married.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Its unlikely that he will be able to continue to carry you on his insurance after the divorce. Most companies don't allow that. You would be eligible for cobra coverage for a limited amount of time, but that's really expensive.

As far as child support is concerned, that is really up to the judge. You might have a hard time getting a judge to accept an order with no child support...or one that has him paying certain bills instead of child support. However, if you put it in the agreement that he is to pay you directly the same amount that he is currently paying in bills...and then you privately allow him to simply pay the bills instead of paying you directly, that might work.

Eventually though, don't be surprized if you end up having to take him back to court for formal child support. Often the kind of arrangements you want fail in the long run.
 

kekepania

Junior Member
ty. I am sure that once new mates get thrown into the picture all this friendliness will be gone. I am just trying to prolong the ineviatable for as long as possiable.

Ok this is where my ignorance would come in, I thought that child suport once order had to be done via a thrid party such as the courts.

If a judge just orders he pay and he can pay "me" directly, then we can just continue on the way we are now.

Thank you. this will make it easier to approach the subject of getting divorced.

Also if we write up everything that we want/agree upon. Can this be done with out having to hire 2 attys? meaning can we just hire one to do the legal paperwork, and get us in front of a judge to sign off on it?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
kekepania said:
ty. I am sure that once new mates get thrown into the picture all this friendliness will be gone. I am just trying to prolong the ineviatable for as long as possiable.

Ok this is where my ignorance would come in, I thought that child suport once order had to be done via a thrid party such as the courts.

If a judge just orders he pay and he can pay "me" directly, then we can just continue on the way we are now.

Thank you. this will make it easier to approach the subject of getting divorced.

Also if we write up everything that we want/agree upon. Can this be done with out having to hire 2 attys? meaning can we just hire one to do the legal paperwork, and get us in front of a judge to sign off on it?
Its an extremely BAD idea to share an attorney. The attorney can't represent both of you, the attorney can only represent one of you.
 

kekepania

Junior Member
ah, so much for trying to save money.

Guess I will just remain maried for a while longer. I have about 3k saved, and know this is no way enough to cover a divorce proceeding. I want to go back to school, but wont qualify for finacial aid while i am still married as our joint income makes me over qualified.

one more ? Since we have 2 children, can we each claim one on our taxes?

they are only 1 year apart, so it would only come down to 1 year to decide who gets to clain the minor at that time.
 

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