My husband is one of those men whose mentality of child support is skewed. He doesnt see it as reimbursement, nor does he see that weither its cash from him or him paying the bill, that the money goes to the same place.
We have been seperated for 8 months, and we have come up with him paying 3 bills, which in total, I believe is more than he would have to pay via the courts. I have explained this to him, but he would rather know "his" money was going to a bill and not in my pocket. Again his thinking is skewed, and stems from how his own mother screwed over his father. He has already told me, " I will not give you money, I will quit my job, work under the table, and would rather go to jail." pretty much verbatim.
I am really not interested in rocking the boat to much. As we are co parenting wonderfully, and getting along well. And he does help with things, such as making repairs around the house, buying things the children may need if I fall short.
Could a judge, since it seems that some sort of support would be granted, could it be wrote that he continue to pay the bills he pays now? he choose these bills. 1 is a car payment, that is in his name, but was also his choice to buy, as "he wanted a safe car to transport the kids", the other is the light bill, and the telephone bill. Both of which he sees as a benefit of his children. And he pays half my mothers gas bill, i pay the other half as she is our caregiver, and watches them free of charge, but with gas prices the way they are we insisted on paying her that as she drives 60 miles round trip to and from my house 5 days a aweek.
He has All of us on his heatlh insurance, I just give him what it cost to cover me, as since we are still married it can be done, and my job doesnt offer it. this isnt family law but does anyone know if after the divorce he can still carry me as long as we both agree and I pay my portion? I have been diagnosed with Lupus, and now have a pre-exisiting condition getting Heatkh insurance is going to be hard.
And by legal stuff, I meant that we would both need to agree to certain things, But I am thinking this would fall under joint legal at 50/50. The children would remain living with me, as he works weird and late hours, and with him having unlimited visitation, the way that it is now. He gets his schedule and travel itenary a week in advance and he will call share them with me, and we hash out what can be done. He spends as much of his free time as he can with the kids, and I would never want to impeed that. But I do want the holiday schedule mapped out. As in every other holiday.
Does this sound like somethng that can be done? I want the best situation for our children and that would be with the least amount of fighting between dad and myself. But I also want to be divorced and free of the legalities of being married.