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Career Mother Required To Get Job Post Divorce?

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hojo

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?

VIRGINIA

DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW THE LAW WORKS IN REGARDS TO PARENTAL JOBS FOLLOWING A DIVORCE?

MY SISTER IS GETTING A DIVORCE AFTER HER HUSBAND CHEATED ON HER. SHE HAS SOME PERSONAL MEANS, AND HAS BEEN A CAREER MOM...BUT SHE WAS TOLD SHE IS *REQUIRED TO LEAVE HOME AND GET A FULL TIME JOB: A DOUBLE WHAMMY.
I HEARD THE AGES OF THE KIDS WERE A FACTOR (THEY ARE 5 AND 8)....THIS IS AN ODD LAW TO UNDERSTAND.

THX!
 


xylene

xylene

Senior Member
hojo said:
BUT SHE WAS TOLD SHE IS *REQUIRED TO LEAVE HOME AND GET A FULL TIME JOB: A DOUBLE WHAMMY.
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Using all caps is VERY bad form.

She was told this by WHOM?

:rolleyes:
 
Ohiogal

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
She is not going to be able to expect to have her ex husband support her and she will be expected to contribute financially to the support of her kids. There is no reason why she should expect to stay at home continuously and not work. The courts may very well expect her to get a job and impute her with an income if she does not. Nor can she expect to live off the taxpayers for ever.
 
xylene

xylene

Senior Member
Ohiogal said:
She is not going to be able to expect to have her ex husband support her and she will be expected to contribute financially to the support of her kids. There is no reason why she should expect to stay at home continuously and not work. The courts may very well expect her to get a job and impute her with an income if she does not. Nor can she expect to live off the taxpayers for ever.
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All of those things are sensible, accurate and true.

None of them are requirements however.
 
H

hojo

Junior Member
Working Mother

pardon the all-caps. not trying to offend sensibilities.

two things to add: she would NOT be "living off taxpayers". she has her own means.
she is the primary parent, as he was not much of a contributor. she is not seeking his $.
only the legal right to take care of her kids, pay her own bills, and work more as kids age - she has a BA from Wharton...still, the law mandating a job after husband left marriage appears questionable. is this a Virgnia law? A child law? Any recourse?
 
xylene

xylene

Senior Member
hojo said:
pardon the all-caps. not trying to offend sensibilities.

two things to add: she would NOT be "living off taxpayers". she has her own means.
she is the primary parent, as he was not much of a contributor. she is not seeking his $.
only the legal right to take care of her kids, pay her own bills, and work more as kids age - she has a BA from Wharton...still, the law mandating a job after husband left marriage appears questionable. is this a Virgnia law? A child law? Any recourse?
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Who SPECIFICALLY told her it is required that she work full time?

I think the reason you aren't answering this is because you don't know.

Tell miss pro mom to get on here herself, and clarify.

ALSO.

I assume she has a lawyer....
 
Ohiogal

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
xylene said:
All of those things are sensible, accurate and true.

None of them are requirements however.
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True. I was going by the understanding that the judge could very strongly suggest that mom get a job to support herself. I have seen that happen. A law that parents have to work full time? Never heard of such a thing.
 
Ohiogal

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
hojo said:
pardon the all-caps. not trying to offend sensibilities.

two things to add: she would NOT be "living off taxpayers". she has her own means.
she is the primary parent, as he was not much of a contributor. she is not seeking his $.
only the legal right to take care of her kids, pay her own bills, and work more as kids age - she has a BA from Wharton...still, the law mandating a job after husband left marriage appears questionable. is this a Virgnia law? A child law? Any recourse?
Click to expand...
technically he was a contributor. She may not have been living at the standard she was accustomed to however he was contributing during the marriage in some way. I do not know of any law however as I said I could see the ocurt imputing her with an income for child support. And if she has a BA from Wharton -- the imputation will NOT be minimum wage. She will always (unless her rights are terminated) have the legal right to support her kids. Her job is her choice but she will not be allowed to have a zero income in court documents.
 
H

hojo

Junior Member
mother info

her lawyer told her this...collaborative lawyer. not judge.
all i know. wonder if such a law...Va is a no fault state etc.

i'm sensing a little... attitiude: "No caps"... "pro mom"... assume "i don't know" who told her...etc. i appreciate any help, but not a huge fan of the sardonic sidebars. if we are tapped out on legal knowledge thanks in advance.
 
H

hojo

Junior Member
Thanks for straight talk

OhioGal. Thanks for the insights Ohiogal. I'll pass on!
pardon my taking umbrage with Xylene but wanted to be "on the record"
that this was a civil thread.
 
N

nextwife

Senior Member
My mom was a "career mom" for well longer than this mom when my dad had a seizure and was diagnosed with a brain tumor. EVERY mom should be capable of sharing in the responsibility of supporting the kids they make. Mom didn't even go to college, but she got out there and found a decent job when the need arose..

Women should consider that they were BLESSED with the opportunity to spend some early years home with their kids, courtesy of spouse. Not use that as an excuse to expect that forever, and to PUNISH the guy for giving mom the years off to be home with the kiddos. Especially once the kids have reached an age where they can be off at school during at least half the day, soon a full-day. Women are no less capable of working than are guys.
 
xylene

xylene

Senior Member
hojo said:
her lawyer told her this...collaborative lawyer. not judge.
Understanding how she came by this misinformation clarifies the situation.

It is very likely she misunderstood what she was told.

There are always potential downsides to divorce, and while a process that minimizes conflict has advantages, it can have disadvantages.

i'm sensing a little... attitiude: "No caps"... "pro mom"... assume "i don't know" who told her...etc. i appreciate any help, but not a huge fan of the sardonic sidebars. if we are tapped out on legal knowledge thanks in advance.
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ALL capitalized letter make reading needlessly difficult. I was only trying make you aware of the problem. Many excellent lawyers on this site would ignore your case because of this.

i was abbreviating. Iwas not a lack of respect for motherhood.

Lastly, it is very difficult, or at least significantly more difficult, to communicate key facts third hand.

It is hard to seek facts on laws that don't exist.
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Click to expand...
 
LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
hojo said:
her lawyer told her this...collaborative lawyer. not judge.
all i know. wonder if such a law...Va is a no fault state etc.

i'm sensing a little... attitiude: "No caps"... "pro mom"... assume "i don't know" who told her...etc. i appreciate any help, but not a huge fan of the sardonic sidebars. if we are tapped out on legal knowledge thanks in advance.
Click to expand...
Please define what you mean by "collaborative lawyer".
 
H

hojo

Junior Member
final word

no short answer today.
questions of a woman's right to work, a man's right, a family's right...
social implications etc. are all philosophical questions that may go beyond my query.

she has no objection to work, the interest and subject is whether the law REQUIRES it of a mother of 2 if she has her own money to pay for them and support her family...and her cheating husband for that matter. always interesting to see how a law looks in new contexts. i'll tell her to ask her lawyer. clearly not gonna solve today. it was curious to me, and thanks for the input.
 
LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
hojo said:
no short answer today.
questions of a woman's right to work, a man's right, a family's right...
social implications etc. are all philosophical questions that may go beyond my query.

she has no objection to work, the interest and subject is whether the law REQUIRES it of a mother of 2 if she has her own money to pay for them and support her family...and her cheating husband for that matter. always interesting to see how a law looks in new contexts. i'll tell her to ask her lawyer. clearly not gonna solve today. it was curious to me, and thanks for the input.
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People don't ask questions just for "jollies"...you are not very good at answering the questions that are asked.

I had a darned good reason to ask what you meant by "collaborative attorney"....if it means what I think it means your friend may be getting BAD legal advice from the attorney.
 
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