I NEED SOME HELP GUYZ

Hi there...I have a real bad dillima I'm in....here goes. Ok, so I made a BIG mistake. Ya know, had an affair with a married man. I heard all of the mumbo of no sex and what a terrible marriage it was..bla bla bla. Well, I fell for It.... Im single and live up in the country and I guess somewhat naive. Well, anyways the affair was with my neighbor. We started as friends. His wife was a sort-of (back stabbing) friend. We had dinners together and spent time together. Well, I came out of a bad relationship a few years ago and my ex had contacted me out of the blue. Well, this sent me emotionally reeling and my neighbors (especially HIM) were around to see how I was doing. I was vunerable, of course. Well, she (his wife) goes out of town and he invites me over for some wine,,,,the rest is hisstory shall I say. It wasn't a long afair (1 1/2- 2 months), but it did help me get over the meathead who was destroying me mentally. So here's prince charming and all and everything is great. He's giving me the emotional needs I am needing at the time. Well, things go a bit further and then Wifey finds out. Well, I tell her. WRONG MOVE. This woman makes my life HELL. She files false complaints on me (telephone harrasements) Which isnt true and then when the DA wont file charges she comes up with a new one that I am a stalker. How humilating!! HE GOES ALONG WITH HER!! I feel like such a thug for falling into this. Well, the charges have been dismissed, 5,000 later and i'm a bit BITTER!!!! I had no xmas and took out a second mortage to pay for an attorney on these false charges and I have to watch these SOBS pass my home everyday. What can I do to clear my name? I know what I did wasnt right, but you should meet his wife. She's a nasty busy body person and so I didnt care. She made my life miserable before the affair so I didnt respect her anyhow. What amazes me is that he is so P****whipped that he will go along with her and lie to save himself. We have over 600 emails we've sent to each other, yet he sent me a certified letter telling me I made them up myself!! What a ****head. I am out alot of money and now that the case is dismissed, I want to take them to civil court or small claims. Im in Oregon. Any advice?? They filed 3 false charges on me. On the stalking, I was in MEXICO!!! I wasnt even here!! He comes by to apologise yet he continued to press charges for his wifes sake. What a snake. PLEASE HELP!! I want some justice served here. Ther must be something I can do to protect myself from this happening in the future as I feel that she will make my life hell until I sell my property.

Kathleen
[email protected]

I am a law school graduate. What I offer is mere information, not to be construed as forming an attorney client relationship.

I am glad you realize the error of your ways but here it is: thank the lucky stars charges were dismissed or you were acquitted. Do you really want to continue the court battles? What good would it do?

If you really want to, get a lawyer to file malicious prosecution and abuse of process against them in civil court.

I don't know if the advice I am about to give you is what you want to hear but you sound like you are crying for help and not getting the answer you want to hear. So here I go...

I have been in the other womens shoes. My husband and my best friend had an affair. I took it so hard that I had to be hospitalized. Ultimately, when things settled down and I realised what really hurt the most was that what they did hurt my selfesteem. She was better than me. (so I thought)I was so hurt that I became angry and wanted to kill both of them. (I didn't, just wanted to) Most people don't realise that most anger come from hurt. Being angry doesn't hurt. Hurt is painful. Which would you rather feel pain or anger? What I'm getting at is very simple. You and this womens husband hurt this women so badly that all she wants to do is take away the pain and she is doing so by inflicting pain on you.

What the 2 of you did was to validate her feelings of low selfesteem and you are a constent reminder. You = Pain
Pain = Anger

Now I know that you probably have grounds for a lawsuit but is that what you are really seeking or do you just want validation that the way she has acted was wrong.

I'm not trying to shame you for what you did, believe it or not, I understand why you did what you did and you defended yourself agaist the false allegations. I think if I were in your shoes, I would have a lawyer write a letter to her asking that they leave you alone or you will get an order of protection and seek financial restiution. If they do not comply, then I would do as promised in the letter.

As for the pregnancy, you are the best judge as to how that should be dealt with.

Good luck

I (like everyone else) was hoping that this one would die it's own death.... but with the current reply being made, we need to update this issue.

It is a hoax!!!
The person who posted it was a troll!!!
It never happened!!
Someone made up a long and continuing story of "Woe is me... Woe is me!!" and we, trying to help, took it hook, line and sinker.

PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS THREAD ANY LONGER!@!!!!!

no it is not a Hoax

Steve, you and others are all wrong about me and my situation. You have all been cruel to me when I needed good advice. What I said was true. I got tired of being chastised is all. Especially from Liable.

This woman (the husbands wife) has called the BLM on me, code enforcement, had me hauled off from my own home in handcuffs and this was WHEN WE WERE FRIENDS. She truly is a nasty woman. I am NOT justifying myself or what I did, as God is the judge of me. I am a good person, and I know that he has forgiven me for what happened.

You all dont understand the full capacity of what this woman did to me when she was my "supposed friend". So, yes her husband and I became friends and I listened to his complaints about her. She started her vindictive ways as soon as I bought my property. I had noting but problems. Code enforcement was out here and it never stopped. This woman claimed to really like me and to be a friend, yet it was her all along who made trouble for me from the very beginning. This was even before I met her husband.

Unless you have met this type of person before, you wouldnt understand why the relationship started.

What I said about myself was true as far as who I am as a person. I just got "caught up" into a situation. This was a man who had strong religious beliefs, who was honerable (he never cheated before), and was the kind of man I dreamed of. I felt bad for him being with a nasty person, for he deserved so much more. We were friends first and our "affair" was only 1 month long. His faith is what stopped him and he decided to make things work with his wife for whatever reasons. I never stopped him from doing this.

Am I guilty? You bet. Am I sorry? I don't know. Given the nasty person she is, it makes it hard for me to have those feelings.

I HAVE been cheated on before (from my ex-husband) and I do know the excrutiating pain that it causes. In that regard, I do feel bad for her. But she won;t stop lashing out at me. This is not something that I did when my husband cheated on me. I blamed him for his disloyalty.

I am single, so the person who is more guilty would be him. If he wasnt happy in his marriage, he should have gotten divorced. Maybe he lied to me. I don;t know. I thought he was different. I can't explain it. It wasn;t just a sleezy affair, but I was falling in love with him, and I think he was for me also.

So, there it is. If this makes me a bad person, then so be it. Believe me, I didnt want for something like this to happen, and I tried to supress my feelings for him. I failed, but havent all of us in one way or another failed at something in life? What about "Judge ye not".

No one here seems to say anything about "him" or what he did. Why is that? Why is it always the woman who is to blame???????

Kathleen

Kathleen,
The biggest question is, do you want to do something about what these people have done to you or are you just playing with the idea to see if you have legal grounds for a suit?

If you want my opinion, I believe that what these people are continuely doing to you is wrong. Filing a false police report is illegal. Harassment is also illegal. If you really do have proof then you are in business.

As for the SENIOR MEMBERS of this site, all I can say is that they don't want to help you. They are impatient self important people and by your continued requests for advice you have become their whipping boy. I would ignore all that they have to say as they will only continue to irritate one.

So, please take my advice and quit waisting your time with these pretend lawyers and call a real lawyer. It sounds like if what you are saying is true, then you have a chance of stopping these people and maybe they will be the ones moving.

Good Luck

TracyElizabeth....

You are way out of line in your condemnation of the senior members on this forum. And since you responded to a post sent to me, I take particular offense at your comments.

You have been here all of what... one week??? And you seem to have absolutely NO knowledge of the legal profession.... (you thought that 'Pain and Suffering' were Punitive Damages!!).

What do you do??? What is YOUR experience that allows you to pass judgment on us/me???

And before you offer your 'Valuable'(?) advice, you need to read the FULL thread on this sob story. Once you do, you will find that I have offered detailed and solid suggestions to this person at least twice... and they were not followed. And to save you the great labor of actually reading her thread, I will summarize it for you....
She slept with her neighbors husband. The neighbor is now mad and, it is claimed, is making false accusations against 'notlucky'. Notlucky was arrested and has had to defend herself against the claims. Notlucky wanted to know if she could file a slander or liable claim to recover her expenses. We have all said NO, that she would have to prove that the slander and liable statements made were not true and that, since they were true, it would be unenforcable. The story has degenerated from there.

Also, this person seems to take great joy in continuing to expand and expound on a story... but refuses to take any responsibility for her own actions.

So, before you continue to 'stumble over your own feet' any further, I would suggest that you back up and read the full thread.... and don't judge all of us with your biased attitude.

When I say "some senior members" I don't believe I was speaking of you. I have not been in the forum for a very long time but I am quickly learning that it is full of many arrogant self-rightous people, whom would rather put others down than help. It is very difficult to sit by and watch as people call each other skank and make references to penis sizes. This is unprofessional behavior from people who claim to be in the law profession.

Now I ask you, lets say that this girl is telling the truth and needs it spelled out to her in the simplest form, step by step, what to expect. Shouldn't we give solid advice rather than "you got what you deserve" Most people thru stones at this women and she got angry. I thought I would give her the chance by someone who doesn't judge her, by how defensive she is, she obviously is doing a lot of judging of herself. I hope that made sense.

As for the pain and suffering thing, please go back and read it again. I did not say that puntive damages were pain and suffering. What did you think of the rest of my advice to that girl. I don't believe that I was that far off. Besides, this forum is about legal "advice"! If a person gives an advil to someone for a runny nose rather than a decongestant are they stupid or helpful? Maybe their thought was, maybe their nose won't stop running but they won't get a sinus headache because I have no decongestant but I have advil. I hope I have stated my point, don't shame someone for trying to be helpful.

Now if I promise to not to respond to this case again, will you do me a favor? Sometimes people need to stand out before anyone will give them any attention, maybe I have stood out to you. Would you read my personal post regarding "I need a second opinion" I have spoken with my attorney about my concerns as to his skeptiscism and he has assured me that it is more about the expenses I am going to incure throughout the deposition process. This attorney is a friend and sometimes friends don't want to tell you the truth. However I still would like your opinion. This case is very important to me.

Please read carefully, I AM ALWAYS LIABLE miss read several important issues, like witnesses and my point about a judge not admitting the lie detector as evidence but he will know that I took one. I guess I will let you go read the post and stop going on and on like I am pregnant with twins or something.

Thanks Tracy

You are the only one who could understand. The other senior members are wrong. And my story, I kept telling more of the situation because I was being judged wrongfully. I wanted the complete facts to come out before being accused and I don't appreciate being called a Skank as I am very far from this accusation. My letter was NO HOAX. It was to get some legal advise. It was to see if I had a case.

I do have witness to the terror I live with on a daily basis, and have been threatned by their friends. One was the other day, by a drug dealor. My life has been turned upside down by these folks. But they have gone too far with this. They have made copies of what I have given to the Sheriff's Dept and given it to this drug dealor.

I can prove Slander as well as malicious prosecution as I NEVER did make the calls or STALK either of them, so I do have a case. They did this to me to get me out of the area.

I do not take great joy in sharing this unfortunate experience with you all. I was hoping that one of you might enlighten me as to what to do.

I have taken matters in my own hands though and filed a small claims case against them for my attorney fees. If I don't win, then I will go to Civil Court and sue for Malicious Prosecution as I WAS NOT guilty of the charges. I can not afford an attorney, so I will be on my own in this and I hope I win.

As for the twins, They were born prematurely due to the stress of this situation and adopted out. So, my intentions were not to gain sympathy. I needed to make a right decision and wrote out of desperation as I needed to make some quick decisions. I had no choice for these people were truely out to destroy my life.

So, with that I thank you all for your suggestions. This was not about sympathy. It was not about money that I could have gotten from in for child support. This was a hard situation to be in.

Kathleen

To senior members and junior members, we senior members answer a lot of questions daily and also are human.

We make mistakes but when we feel a poster doesn't have a legal issue/really doesn't have much to go on, we tell you. Would you rather hear fluff than the real thing?

If you want specific legal advice, catering to a situation that cannot possibly be adequately described here, you need to CONSULT with a PRIVATE attorney in your state. Only then will you know the true ramifications of your neighbors' actions in light of your own.

TracyElizabeth....

You continue to miss the obvious:
Go back and read all FOUR of the threads that have been posted by 'notluckyinlove', they can be found by clicking on:

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?threadid=33362
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?threadid=33364
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?threadid=33366
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?threadid=34079

Read them. In some, you will find that a lot of us HAVE offered valued and correct advice. And each was responded with a further escalation of the story. I will not bore with the summaries of these diatribes, you really need to read them yourself. Suffice to say, this 'lady' claims to be: a model, a millionaire, pregnant with twins (first aborted, now given away), claimed "Im cute, blond 37, and fun-loving", and on and on....

So, spend the next hour or so reading both the continuing saga and the MANY attempts to offer valid and accurate advice. Then, after learning what we have, come back here and give your opinion. It might have some value then.

Oh, and by the way, you still haven't answered our question... what 'legal' experience do you have. We have at least 3 attorneys who have offered pretty much the same advice. What is your opinion???

Steve, if you read the posts responded to by TraceyElizabeth, you will see her problems with the contributors. She has comments for almost everyone: HomeGuru, IAAL, racer et. al......

Let me make this simple...

Remember the registration.......each of you AGREED that you would not post abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, malicious,etc...messages. You also agreed that you would pay this site $1000.00 for each post in which you did not comply with these rules..... I have copied and pasted several of your abusive, hateful, vulgar,malicious and harassing messages and made a formal complaint. I choose the posts that depicted the best examples of this kind of abuse.

I have stated the way that I feel and I will not be bullied or harassed by you any longer. So read my words very carefully gentlemen, I WILL COPY ANY HARASSING POSTS AND REPORT YOU!

I DO NOT WISH TO GO TIT-FOR-TAT WITH ANY OF YOU. I DO WISH THAT YOU WILL BE MORE PATIENT AND UNDERSTANDING WITH PEOPLE WHO COME TO THIS SITE FOR HELP. I ASK YOU WHY DO THEY COME HERE??????BECAUSE THE NEED LEGAL HELP NOT TO BE TOLD HOW STUPID THEY ARE BECAUSE THEY DO NOT HAVE THE SAME UNDERSTANDING OF THE LAW THAT YOU DO.

My response:

So, you want to play judge and jury, to make and determine the definitions of the words "vulgar", etc. ?



IAAL

[Edited by m martin on 01-22-2001 at 03:12 PM]

Dear Senior Members,
While I have had nothing but good intentions, it seems that I made the mistake of expecting more from people who claim to be attorneys. I was under the assumption that lawyers had better ethics. Please forgive me for my error.

SO, WITH THAT SAID, YOU WIN! I WILL NOT COME TO THIS SITE AGAIN. I HAVE REPORTED I AM ALWAYS LIABLE AND WITH ANY LUCK HE WILL BE PUNISHED. SO GOODBYE AND MAY GOD SHINE UPON YOUR HEARTS AND SOULS AND LET YOU BE KIND AND CARING TO THOSE IN NEED. AND REMEMBER I WAS YOUR CONSCIENCE FOR A BRIEF PERIOD OF TIME AND YOU REFUSED TO LISTEN AND I FIND THAT SO INCREDIBLY SAD.

GOOD LUCK AND THE NEXT TIME SOMEONES IGNORANCE IRRATATES YOU, LOOK AT THEIR IGNORANCE AS INNOCENCE, MAYBE YOUR RESPONSE WILL BE KINDER.