I NEED SOME HELP GUYZ

Hi there...I have a real bad dillima I'm in....here goes. Ok, so I made a BIG mistake. Ya know, had an affair with a married man. I heard all of the mumbo of no sex and what a terrible marriage it was..bla bla bla. Well, I fell for It.... Im single and live up in the country and I guess somewhat naive. Well, anyways the affair was with my neighbor. We started as friends. His wife was a sort-of (back stabbing) friend. We had dinners together and spent time together. Well, I came out of a bad relationship a few years ago and my ex had contacted me out of the blue. Well, this sent me emotionally reeling and my neighbors (especially HIM) were around to see how I was doing. I was vunerable, of course. Well, she (his wife) goes out of town and he invites me over for some wine,,,,the rest is hisstory shall I say. It wasn't a long afair (1 1/2- 2 months), but it did help me get over the meathead who was destroying me mentally. So here's prince charming and all and everything is great. He's giving me the emotional needs I am needing at the time. Well, things go a bit further and then Wifey finds out. Well, I tell her. WRONG MOVE. This woman makes my life HELL. She files false complaints on me (2 telephone harrasements) Which never happened for she is seeking a STALKING ORDER, which she can get if there is 2 tele harrasement charges. When the DA wont file charges she hounds the DA office and gets me served on a stalking order. How humilating!! I NEVER STALKED THESE FOLKS. EVER.!!!!!! I have more to do with my time and this is a vindictive move by the scorned wife who should focus on her marriage instead of me. Anyhow, HE GOES ALONG WITH HER!! He lies to the cops. My 9 year old is best friends with his daughter and they use the caller ID as prove of MY CALLS. The girls called each other. I erase his messages, So I can;t prove that he called me a million times....I WAS SET UP. I feel like such a thug for falling into this. Well, the charges have been dismissed, and im 5,000 broke. I had no xmas and took out a second mortage to pay for an attorney on these false charges and I have to watch these SOBS pass my home everyday. e shows no remorse. I asked him to pay for half of my attorney fees as he was the other half of this, and he hangs up on me. What can I do to clear my name and get my attorney fees paid for by him? I know what I did wasnt right, but you should meet his wife. She's a nasty busy body person and so I didnt care. She made my life miserable before the affair so I didnt respect her anyhow. What amazes me is that he is so P****whipped that he will go along with her and lie to save himself. We have over 600 emails we've sent to each other, yet he sent me a certified letter telling me I made them up myself!! What a ****head. I am out alot of money and now that the case is dismissed, I want to take them to civil court or small claims. Im in Oregon. Any advice?? They filed 3 false charges on me. On the stalking, I was in MEXICO!!! I wasnt even here!! He comes by to apologise (I wouldnt meet with him) yet he continued to press charges for his wifes sake. What a snake. PLEASE HELP!! I want some justice served here. Ther must be something I can do to protect myself from this happening in the future as I feel that she will make my life hell until I sell my property.

Kathleen
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Hun, chalk it up to a lesson of not having an affair with a married man. Looks like if you want to move on, sell your place and move on. I personally don't think you are going to get anywhere positive if you try to take him to court of whatever to get compensated. Afterall, he is going to do whatever his wife tells him at this point. As for your daughter being friends with his kid, I would strongly suggest that you talk to your daughter and have her stop contact via phone, if not all together, with the other party. This could be hard on a 9 year old, but you were wrong in judgment, now you have to pay the consequences.

Please remember if you take this to court you have to bear the burden in proof to justify a judgment rendered to you. Can you honestly proove to a judge that he owes you?

Better yet, move on and get free from your so called snake.

Sorry if this is harsh, but actions come with consequences.

You can file a restraining order against the two or move out of the area but basically that's it. You do the crime, you do the time.

I czn prove it

Thanks for the advice, but I CAN PROVE IT!!Every bit of it, and every steamy word. He led me on and it is he who should pay the consequence. Any attorney's out there???

Come on guys....backbone's needed.

Kathleen

why the chastisement ?

Ok, so I did the crime alone?? Are we still in midevil times. Adultry has been around for centuries. So judge Ye not!! This is a man who was a friend. It wasnt a sudden affair. You'd have to know the situation. His wife made trouble for me before all of this happened. I was his "confident" and friend. So, dont judge me unless you know of the situation in it's entirety. The wife is nasty and very vindictive. Not that I am a saint, but I am a good person.

Also, I didnt mention that I'm pregnant by him. twins. I didn't mention that I am, for I don't want to be judged further and am ashamed. So if you all think I'm a tramp for this then too bad. I am NOT. I live where the population is less than 200 and the percentage of single men less than 1% and those with teeth is even less. I am simply asking for my attorney fees. He knows nothing of the pregancy and I dont dare tell him. I dont want to ruin his home life or hang anything over his head.

Kathleen

Dear notlucky,

I am an attorney and you could use some counseling. In your first post you state you want some justice served then in your last post you state that you do not want to ruin his home life or hang anything over his head.
If you had practiced the drugs 'just say No" slogan that they teach the kids nowdays maybe you would not be in a predicament. There is no valid justifiable reasoning, male-female ratio, small town, hot Emale or any other excuse for speading your legs. And because of the expecting twins, he is legally liable for support for both you and the children.