question about probation

What is the name of your state? CA

My boyfriend is on probation for drug possession, and I have some questions about it. I try to ask him, because I'm furious about the restrictions they place on him, but he thinks I'm not being supportive.

Anywho - what are the rules for going out of the country? I'm concerned, because we had tentitive plans to go to Europe within the next year or two, and I don't want that to get screwed up.

The thing is, he very very rarely did drugs. Which is probably why he got caught - he wasn't a pro at sneaking it around. He never does drugs when he's with me (which he would be if we were traveling), is not an alcoholic or anything. He just did these things when he was with some (bad influence) friends. He's become a Christian since his arrest (a better one than me, I would almost say. lol), lost his daughter, and basically just had his priorities straightened out.

I don't see how going on a European vacation is anything that would threaten his 'recovery.' I just don't know what probation officers base their decisions on. Obviously, the same probation restrictions are just thrown at you no matter who you are or how bad your addiction is, but do they take things like the above mentioned facts into consideration if you want to go on vacation? I mean, one of the trips was to visit family we've never seen (we should have gone earlier this year, but his daughter's death prompted a lot of plans to be cancelled), and one would be our honeymoon (we are planning on getting married, obviously). Both of which were thought of way in advance of all this crap.

So yes - how does it work, asking for permission to go abroad? Please give me a kind answer... so many threads I read have very bitter, rude answers to them, and I really don't feel that's necessary. I just need a little help, please. Thank you!

It probably will not happen.

He can ASK for permission to leave the country but the probation department is under no obligation to permit it to happen.

Probation are restrictions placed by the court. If he does not like them, he did not have to agree to them ... he could have gone to jail instead.

- Carl

There is a chance he will be able to go. Unless he gets and a-hole PO as long as he has no violations and is current with his probation fees he might be able to go. I wouldn't suggest asking to go right away. Wait till he's been on probation for a year and shown he is doing everything required. I've been on probation for 1 1/2 years and I am in such good standing with my PO she would let me go if I asked.

Thank you, Heather2. He's been going to all his meetings and therapy and everything. I'm pretty sure everyone knows that he doesn't really have a major drug problem, and knows he's not a trouble-maker or anything. Apparently everyone in his meetings has done much much worse things than he has, and he's the only one who is able to actually drive there. I'm just concerned about waiting too long to ask, because one trip is tentatively planned for next May, and the next, possibly over the summer. He said he would ask his probation officer how to go about asking for vacation time. I feel as though vacations are going to be desperately needed, as soon as we can afford them. It's been a rough year... his daughter died of a seizure this past April, and we're all still feeling the pain and stress of that. We want to treat his son, and my brother, to the Cirque Du Soleil Beatles show in Vegas (another place he's not allowed to go, for some strange reason) - not to be morbid, but in my mine - before anyone else dies. Carpe Diem, you know?

Heather2 said:

Unless he gets and a-hole PO...

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Oh don't you dare. Just because a PO doesn't allow the person currently on probation to leave the country does NOT make him an "a-hole".

Reasons why a PO might be hesitant to allow him to Las Vegas: a city full of booze, whores, and drugs.

Reasons why a PO might be hesitant to allow him to Europe: You've got a country known for alcohol, you've got a country known for marijuana.

And the biggest reason why a PO might be hesitant to allow him to go anywhere: the PO can't keep an eye on him, which is the purpose behind probation.

The Occultist said:

Oh don't you dare. Just because a PO doesn't allow the person currently on probation to leave the country does NOT make him an "a-hole".

Reasons why a PO might be hesitant to allow him to Las Vegas: a city full of booze, whores, and drugs.

Reasons why a PO might be hesitant to allow him to Europe: You've got a country known for alcohol, you've got a country known for marijuana.

And the biggest reason why a PO might be hesitant to allow him to go anywhere: the PO can't keep an eye on him, which is the purpose behind probation.

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Touchy....
Yes it does make him/her an a-hole if they won't let him go. As long as he's doing everything he's suppose to do only an a-hole wouldn't let him go.

No. A PO is not an a-hole for not granting the criminal leave to get out of the country. An LEO is not an a-hole for giving a ticket instead of a warning. A judge is not an a-hole for deciding you have to be punished for your crime.

Granting the vacation might be a nice gesture, but not doing so does not make him an a-hole.

Heather2 said:

Touchy....
Yes it does make him/her an a-hole if they won't let him go. As long as he's doing everything he's suppose to do only an a-hole wouldn't let him go.

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look sweatheart...the point you seem to be missing is that YOUR BOYFRIEND IS A CRIMINAL...and he is a criminal who got caught(score 1 for the good guys)
When a person chooses to break the law they risk getting caught and facing the repercusions of their actions. In your boyfriends case that means probation(be glad he is not on *vacation* behind bars)and you can stomp your feet and whine all you want about how unfair it is but the reality of the situation is that it is your boyfriend not his PO who is the @$$-hole

sorry...eme said:

look sweatheart...the point you seem to be missing is that YOUR BOYFRIEND IS A CRIMINAL...and he is a criminal who got caught(score 1 for the good guys)
When a person chooses to break the law they risk getting caught and facing the repercusions of their actions. In your boyfriends case that means probation(be glad he is not on *vacation* behind bars)and you can stomp your feet and whine all you want about how unfair it is but the reality of the situation is that it is your boyfriend not his PO who is the @$$-hole

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Oh no, eme, heather2 is a felon herself, it is spiritfild with the felon boyfriend.

Just want to keep the felons straight!!

fairisfair said:

Oh no, eme, heather2 is a felon herself, it is spiritfild with the felon boyfriend.

Just want to keep the felons straight!!

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I just get so p!ssed reading about how *unfair* the system is for punnishing crimanals!...I guess I am a bit testy about it all right now DufuX is still hiding out with 2 no bail felony warrants

fairisfair said:

Oh no, eme, heather2 is a felon herself, it is spiritfild with the felon boyfriend.

Just want to keep the felons straight!!

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Actually I got deferred adjudication which means I am not a felon.

Heather2 said:

Actually I got deferred adjudication which means I am not a felon.

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lucky you, try to keep it that way!!

Well, he went for his court appointment today, and he impressed them SO much, that his probation was cut in half, and he doesn't have to come in to see them again for 3 months. :-D

Haven't we all broken the law at some point in our lives? We can't judge too harshly... especially considering that drugs that are now illegal weren't always illegal. Come on, cocaine used to be everywhere! Coka-Cola anyone? Alcohol used to be illegal - do we think it's still terrible to drink, just because it used to be illegal?

I don't think that just because someone does a little cocaine once a year means they have to lose their life savings, and their jobs and their reputations. Our system is screwed up.

spiritfild said:

Well, he went for his court appointment today, and he impressed them SO much, that his probation was cut in half, and he doesn't have to come in to see them again for 3 months. :-D

Haven't we all broken the law at some point in our lives? We can't judge too harshly... especially considering that drugs that are now illegal weren't always illegal. Come on, cocaine used to be everywhere! Coka-Cola anyone? Alcohol used to be illegal - do we think it's still terrible to drink, just because it used to be illegal?

I don't think that just because someone does a little cocaine once a year means they have to lose their life savings, and their jobs and their reputations. Our system is screwed up.

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Of course everyone makes mistakes. Some only learn though when they are caught and punished. Laws change, times change, people must change with them, or face the consequences. I am sure that everyone is happy that your boyfriend is doing better at making choices in his life, and hopes that he continues to do so. Postponing a trip isn't going to kill him, or you. Drugs however, may be a different story.