HelpMeInCA
Junior Member
What is the name of your state? CA
I'm in the middle. I'm the Granddaughter. G'ma is in the beginning to middle stages of Alzheimers. Some good days, some bad. Still lives in her home. Not always taking meds. and not eating much... Last week police called both me and Mom in middle of night, saying someone report elderly woman walking on sidewalk. She was disoriented.
Mom had a stroke 2.5 years ago, affected "reasoning" area of brain, she's partially paralized on right side, per doctors and she no longer drives. Mom is PofA for G'ma....G'ma is PofA for Mom. I'm in middle. I help both and have full time job (with understanding bosses), for now.
G'ma's banker tells G'ma her PofA is useless with Mom's condition (alternate is out-of-state and would sign off) and it should be updated to name me because Mom wouldn't understand the goings on. G'ma, for last 2 yrs, tells banker she wants me to help her, she trusts me, I fill out her checks and she signs them. I sort her mail and bills, etc.... I already help Mom. I'm on her accts. sort and pay her bills, she can't sign her name well and doesnt' want to. G'ma won't go to Atty to change PofA, forgets why she called him. Sometimes she doesn't know Mom is her daughter and/or what day/month it is. She asks her banker or me how much money she has and is surprised when we tell her! Other days she's like the old G'ma that raised me.
My hands seem to be tied, yet both are dependent on me and I'm doing all I can. Is there anything else I can do legally to help me help them?
A friend says to have G'ma Probated. What is that? What is the difference between that and Conservatorship? Would either change her will? She doesn't have a trust. I was told she didn't really need one since most of her assets have beneficiaries, true? How do I get her into an Assisted Living place when she doesn't want to go? And how would I pay if I'm not on her accts, I definitely couldn't afford it? My Mom is on her accts. With Mom's approval could I pay from her acct and reimburse Mom? I'm trying to get daily home care for her. If my Mom is on G'mas checking could we go to the bank and add me with Mom's approval, since she has PofA?
G'ma has an good sized estate, and her house (paid for). Her banker says all her accts have a beneficiary, either Mom or Me or jointly us. She deeded her house to Mom and has the right to live there till she dies. Has anyone heard of that? I have a copy of her Will and Mom is Executor, I'm alternate. If something happens to G'ma, what would be included in the will or probate for the heirs?
Please help, I'm confused and running in circles!
Thank you!
I'm in the middle. I'm the Granddaughter. G'ma is in the beginning to middle stages of Alzheimers. Some good days, some bad. Still lives in her home. Not always taking meds. and not eating much... Last week police called both me and Mom in middle of night, saying someone report elderly woman walking on sidewalk. She was disoriented.
Mom had a stroke 2.5 years ago, affected "reasoning" area of brain, she's partially paralized on right side, per doctors and she no longer drives. Mom is PofA for G'ma....G'ma is PofA for Mom. I'm in middle. I help both and have full time job (with understanding bosses), for now.
G'ma's banker tells G'ma her PofA is useless with Mom's condition (alternate is out-of-state and would sign off) and it should be updated to name me because Mom wouldn't understand the goings on. G'ma, for last 2 yrs, tells banker she wants me to help her, she trusts me, I fill out her checks and she signs them. I sort her mail and bills, etc.... I already help Mom. I'm on her accts. sort and pay her bills, she can't sign her name well and doesnt' want to. G'ma won't go to Atty to change PofA, forgets why she called him. Sometimes she doesn't know Mom is her daughter and/or what day/month it is. She asks her banker or me how much money she has and is surprised when we tell her! Other days she's like the old G'ma that raised me.
My hands seem to be tied, yet both are dependent on me and I'm doing all I can. Is there anything else I can do legally to help me help them?
A friend says to have G'ma Probated. What is that? What is the difference between that and Conservatorship? Would either change her will? She doesn't have a trust. I was told she didn't really need one since most of her assets have beneficiaries, true? How do I get her into an Assisted Living place when she doesn't want to go? And how would I pay if I'm not on her accts, I definitely couldn't afford it? My Mom is on her accts. With Mom's approval could I pay from her acct and reimburse Mom? I'm trying to get daily home care for her. If my Mom is on G'mas checking could we go to the bank and add me with Mom's approval, since she has PofA?
G'ma has an good sized estate, and her house (paid for). Her banker says all her accts have a beneficiary, either Mom or Me or jointly us. She deeded her house to Mom and has the right to live there till she dies. Has anyone heard of that? I have a copy of her Will and Mom is Executor, I'm alternate. If something happens to G'ma, what would be included in the will or probate for the heirs?
Please help, I'm confused and running in circles!
Thank you!