Abuse of POA

What is the name of your state? Illinois

My brother was granted a healthcare poa some years ago for our Grandmother. A cousin, who's agenda is to have Grandmother installed in a nursing home has had a new healthcare poa drawn, signed and noterized with out telling anyone else in the family. Yes, I understand that probably in another year or two, that is where she will need to be. To add to this, my Grandmothers 4 children can't seem to get together and agree to any thing.

Does this new poa have any legal standing? Grandmother is not always cognisant of what she is signing and I'm pretty sure she was conjoled into this. She is capable of being on her own, cooking and bathing of herself. She is not good about taking her pills and does need to be supervised for that. What can and/or should be done at this point to protect her from this relative.

Thanks

The notary would have had to ascertain if she understood the document that she was signing.

Thanks for responding. If the notary was aware that there was a previous poa, would that have been brought into the conversation at all? A few years before she granted the first poa, she would have refused to even set one up. These days, she would agree to sign just about anything if put to her in a way that was agreeable. I'm not so much worried about my brother not being poa, I'm just terrified that this relative will not look after Grandma's best interests. To be completely honest, I would prefer it not be a family member at all.

Sherry

A notary is not an attorney. They are there to verify that the document was signed in their presence, and that the signer understands what they are signing. They are not getting paid to do research, or review the legality of the document.

That does not really answer the question I asked. The said notary is the acting social worker for the tenants in the apartment complex where my Grandmother lives. He has an obligation to make sure that he is doing what is best for the tenants. So, would he have brought up the fact that Grandma was undoing the previous poa?

Circulating said:

That does not really answer the question I asked. The said notary is the acting social worker for the tenants in the apartment complex where my Grandmother lives. He has an obligation to make sure that he is doing what is best for the tenants. So, would he have brought up the fact that Grandma was undoing the previous poa?

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That is NOT a true statement.

Maybe I'm not asking the right question. The social worker is also the notary. I am trying to determine if the social worker/notary would have had the obligation to say to my Grandmother that this poa will undo the previous poa. I understand that as just a notary, he was only obligated to confirm it was my Grandmother signing her own name. But as the social worker, was he also obligated to explain what the consequences were?

They would be practicing law if they did that. Unless they are an attorney who works for the complex, then that would have been illegal. I already told you the requirements of a notary. That is all that they are expected to do. Anything more would be the illegal practice of law.

What advantage is it to the cousin to have grandmother placed in a nursing home? How does this hurt grandmother? It sounds like grandmother's factual situation is at a point where such a decision is being considered no matter who is the healthcare poa, why does it concern you that this person is stepping up to the plate? I'm still not sure how things have come about. Is grandmother able to make her own healthcare decisions at this point or not? If so, how the the healtcare poa come into it? If not, how can she change the person on the poa?

Are there any options to stop this back and forth of poa's? Is there a way to select one person and leave it that way?

Sure. Grandma needs to stop re-assigning.

Hi Tranquillity,

I have no idea what is driving this relative's agenda. My best guess is that she feels her mother is being put out by taking on the brunt of the necessary care. Instead of dealing with Grandma's adult children, the relative has done some things that cause concern in regards to looking out for Grandma's health and best interests.

There are 4 children and like many other families, they are all over the country. Of course the three who are in other states don't want their mother in a nursing home until it is necessary. They have all suggested that Grandma come and live with them, but they are not financially able to provide the space and care Grandma would need(right now that is very minimal).

There is also the quality over quantitiy of life issues. Grandma suffers from a number of malidies as many people who are over 90 do. She also lives on social security and the options of nursing home care in my area are dismal to say the least. While not higly supervised, the apartment building where she lives provides a clean, pleasant living which keeps her happy while still on this earth. Also, different ranges of in home care can be arranged at this location, but none of the children want to make the decision.

Maybe I'm wrong and this relative is right. While there is no diagnosis of alzhiemers or dementia, there is something going on with her memory and her total recognigtion of what is going on around her. There is also some concern that Grandma is driving part of this soap opera because of the excitment and attention it brings.

People have a right to make their own decisions about their own life. Even older people. If the main caregiver now feels as though she can no longer provide the care she has been, and that care is necessary, what options are there?

Part of your answer gets down to the two main reasons I see for such arguments in families. The first is money. Some people want control because they want to maximise the amount of money they will get when the target person dies. That does not seem the case here.

The second is related to responsibility/power. Those without responsibility for things love having the power to decide and those with the responsibility for things resent not having the power. The best way for all concerned is for responsibility and power to stay in the same hands. This is the problem here. People who can not or will not take responsibility for grandma taking her pills (Along with other things. Taking care of an older person can be a very demanding job.) want the power to decide the actions of those who have assumed the responsibility.

Grandma is the best person to control the responsibility/power equation right now. It sounds like she is nearing the stage where she can no longer take the responsibility for herself and she will lose the power to decide anything. That is my suggestion. Have those who care about her speak with her and let her know the difficulties that surround her life right now. Inform her that she may not be able to make her own decisions too much longer and that she should really consider who she most trusts to understand her needs, wants and desires for the twilight of her life. Ask her to give those who love her a gift. The gift of her best decision. Point out that quick or arbitary decisions cause pain to everyone, especially those who only want what is best for her. Focus on *who* shall be the decision-maker when she can no longer decide, not what those decisions should be. That "what" discussion should occur with the POA after grandma decides who it is.