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family feud

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scooo59

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? GA

We had to send my father to an assisted living home last weekend. My sister and I have been taking care of my father for about 6 months since he was diagnosed with alzheimers. Prior to that when my mother passed away 13 years ago we've visited him on a bi-weekly basis (he lives in N.C.). My 3 bothers rarely visted and almost never did anything to help him, such as grocery shopping, laundry, hair cuts, etc.

My sister and one of my brothers have power of attorney as well as being executors to his estate.

We are in a war of words right now, because my brothers are insinuating that my sister and I have not been taking proper care of our father. An example is that they say his nails should have been cut 6 months ago and with all the money my father has we should have hired someone to come in and do it for him. We have basically all disowned each other and written horrible horrible emails to each other.

Here's the issue, my 3 brothers now say they are going to get an attorney, they want to see all of our father's financial statements, credit card statements, etc. and that if they find any innappropriate spending they will decide whether we should be penalized for it. Also, my sister had transferred some cd's over to annunities on the advise of our banker and they are saying that if money was lost because of it she will have to pay them back for that.

Do they have a leg to stand on with this issue? I would think not, since they have just now started showing interest in our father now that he's been moved to long term care. They are very anxious to sell the house, and want to know all about our father's finances and he's not even dead yet.
 


seniorjudge

Senior Member
Unfortunately, what you are describing is quite common.

Someone sniffs a little money and they come roarin' out, guns a-blazin'.

I don't know what to do with such people.
 

anteater

Senior Member
...if they find any innappropriate spending they will decide whether we should be penalized for it.
No they won't.

Also, my sister had transferred some cd's over to annunities on the advise of our banker and they are saying that if money was lost because of it she will have to pay them back for that.
As long as the transactions were those that a reasonable person would make and there was no self-dealing, they are blowing smoke.

Which, as the seniorjudge says, does not mean that they can't try to make life miserable for you.
 

scooo59

Junior Member
2 more questions

Thanks for the answers.

Just a couple more questions.

1) Since I am not the executor of the will, nor am I on the power of attorney, is it even possible my brother(s) could win a suit against me? Yes, I did visit my father every 2 weeks and tried to do whatever was necessary to help take care of him, but wouldn't ALL OF US be responsible?

2) Is my sister obligated to give my brothers copies of all my father's documents (bank statements, credit card statements, etc.)? I know my one brother can ask for them since he is also the executor, but what about the others? Since my father is still alive I don't see how they can legally ask for these documents.

Thanks again.
 

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