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what should I do?

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champagne

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? California

I am at a loss for what steps I should take. Some history: My parents have had a will, living trust, power of attorney, and medical poa since 2001. In these documents, they list me as poa, and executor, after one another, of course. They have had the same lawyer for 11 years documenting all of this. My mom was always in control of the household, my dad, whose health is okay for the most part, has struggled with his memory in the last year or so. He has not been diagnosed with dementia. Several years ago they lost all of their retirement in an investment scheme, that they never fully recovered from. From the age 18 to 25, I had had a savings accumulate to $41,400. I had my mom keep it for me. I told her that she could just hold on to it and use it if she needed, and just redeposit into it. Because of the wonderful relationship I have always had with my parents, I didn't need to have any concerns that she would have it in her account. I knew that I would just ask for it if I needed it. But after the retirement loss, I thought they could just use it for now. Several years have past and several bank accounts have been closed and opened since then. In June, my mom and dad opened their most recent savings, with about $53,000. Meanwhile, there is no documentation proving that much of that balance was the amount I let my mom keep hold of.

In October, my mom passed away unexpectedly. We pulled out of their savings to cover the expenses, leaving his home as his only asset. However, he did not want to live on his own so I moved him in with our family. In November, dad felt it would be best to add me on the house and mortgage, bank and credit card accounts. My mom handled all the financial affairs, and he felt it would be best, knowing that his memory isn't always good.
My dad receives a small pension every month that goes into his checking account. He gives us a portion of that, wanting to be sure that he helps out.

Now, last week Dept of Social Services came by to investigate the possibilty of elder financial fraud. The transaction that brought this on, was on a credit card. My dad had added me on as a authorized user, and I used the card to purchase blinds. The credit card company declined the transaction saying it was fraudulent, and notified APS. She questioned both of us, and noticed that my dad's memory isn't that good. She told me I had no right to purchase anything and I was wrong to use the credit card. I am confused by this.

My dad has improved, being around my five children, and going out with us all of the time. He is well taken care of, happy, and loves his life here. I have paid all of his bills, and kept all of them current. We will not be selling the house, but are trying to prepare it for renting condition, as my parents let the house go over the past several years. What did I do wrong? After she asked for all of our records and bank statements, I felt like I was being penalized for taking care of my dad exactly as he would have wanted. Since my mom's death, I haven't been keeping very good records. Honestly, the last five months have been a blur. I called my parents lawyer and told him what was going on. He was just as confused as I was.

I am afraid that now after losing my mom, I am going to lose my dad. Extended family members are upset that I am being targeted and I don't know how everything could have gone so wrong.

What is the name of your state?
 


Dandy Don

Senior Member
Is there official documentation in the credit card company's records that you were an authorized user--did your dad add you verbally or is there paperwork to confirm this? Very odd that they would consider your transaction as fraudulent if you were an authorized user. Ask the credit card for a copy of any paperwork that shows you are an authorized user or anything that shows the date that your father added you.

How was the $41,000 in savings that you had held--was it in cash or by check? How did this money get into your mother's account--did you write her a check? Do you have any copies of old bank statements or deposit statements from your mother's account that would verify that this was a transaction from you to her? Could you possibly get this information from your bank or her bank? Looks like APS is overreacting needlessly--how much did the blinds cost?. As long as you have documents proving you are authorized to handle their affairs, you don't have much to worry about.

You may want to consult a family law attorney to find out what steps you can take to defend yourself. Have you been officially charged with anything or are you facing any hearings in regard to the financial abuse?

DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA ([email protected])
 

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