Soon to be 18 year old with a 15 year old.

This is in Colorado.

I met a girl in my senior year of high school. Her birthday was in March and she turned 15 that year. On June 12, we started dating. On August 19th, I turn 18. We've been together two months.

I am almost certain her mother does not approve of me. The few times she has seen me (She didn't know we were together), my girlfriend has said afterwards that shes said I'm lazy or self-pitting or all kinds of things. (All very stereotypical, I wear a lot of black).

I don't plan to have sexual relations with her, it is a non-issue. I don't go out partying and bring her or do drugs or anything bad. I can't even drive. We live in small towns seven miles away from each other, so I really don't even see her that often.

Can somebody please explain all the legalities of this situation? Just anything that I could do that would end badly. Thank you.

Leave her alone and move on to someone your own age (and that IS legal advice )

If her mother says no, it's no.

That is all you need to know. And that's a legal answer too. There is nothing in the law that will force her mother to allow you to see her if the mother doesn't want her to.

She could get a restraining order against you. That would be on your permanent record.

The unfettered age of consent in Colorado is 17, but Colorado has a "close in age" exception. The close in age exception allows those who are at least 15 and less than 17 to engage in consensual sex with those who are less than 10 years older (sex with peers).

Sexual assault is when the victim is less than 15 and the perpetrator is at least 4 years older and is not the spouse of the victim, or the victim is at least 15 but less than 17 and the perpetrator is 10 years older.

Although you and your girlfriend can legally have sex in Colorado, I can tell you that if her mother does not appear to like you now, she CERTAINLY won't like you later if you engage in sexual relations with her daughter, before her daughter is older. And if you DO have sex, please have it responsibly.

And even if you can have sex legally, that does not change the fact that if her parents say you cannot see her, you cannot. They ARE NOT and NEVER WILL BE compelled to let you see her. As long as she is under 18, if they say no, it's no, no matter what the law says.

Sex is not an issue, we will not engage in sexual relations.

LittleConfused said:

Sex is not an issue, we will not engage in sexual relations.

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Uh-huh

Well, if you are not planning on having sex, the only other thing that you could do that would end badly is to prove her mother right by being lazy or self-pitying or things like that.

If you want to continue the relationship with this girl, and she wants to continue one with you (that last part is VERY important) and also build good-will with her mom, send your girlfriend postcards with nice simple "thinking of you" messages (this way the mom can read your notes legally and see what a nice guy you are ) and you could call her at home and when her mom answers the phone, have a nice pleasant short conversation with her. Moms like that. I personally think black is very cool, but if you can vary the color scheme a bit when you next meet the mom, it might help - impressions are EVERYTHING before you get to know someone.

That's all the advice I have. Good luck.

Zigner said:

Uh-huh

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Look, just because I have a girlfriend doesn't mean I'm so horndog like the majority of the guys out there. I'm one of the least sexual people you will ever meet. I cringe at my friends talking about girls in any degrading manner.

LittleConfused said:

Look, just because I have a girlfriend doesn't mean I'm so horndog like the majority of the guys out there. I'm one of the least sexual people you will ever meet. I cringe at my friends talking about girls in any degrading manner.

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There is no way in the world you're going to convince me that, in the next 30 months, you wouldn't have sex with this (now) child.

LittleConfused said:

Look, just because I have a girlfriend doesn't mean I'm so horndog like the majority of the guys out there. I'm one of the least sexual people you will ever meet. I cringe at my friends talking about girls in any degrading manner.

Click to expand...

In any case, regardless of your intentions about sex, mom can file a restraining order against you to keep you away from her daughter until she is of legal age.

What part of, no means no, did you not understand?

Please pay close attention. It doesn't matter whether you plan to have sex or not.

IF HER MOTHER SAYS YOU CANNOT SEE HER, THAT IS THE END OF THE MATTER.

LittleConfused did not say his girlfriend's mother told him to stay away or even that they couldn't date - he said he thought that the girl's mother didn't approve of him. There is a difference (slight, maybe, but a difference).

After a kid gets to be a certain age, parents have just got to trust that they raised their kid well enough to make intelligent choices on their own. Kids don't learn to walk, afterall, if we never let them stand on their own.

The point, however, is the same.

The parents still have control over their minor children. The fact that the law may permit something does not obligate the parent to allow it. Whether she is "uncomfortable" with him or has forbidden him to see her is immaterial to that basic point - one way or another, what mom says goes.