• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

what to do about mother losing her mind

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

What is the name of your state? PA.
I think my mother is losing her mind to dementia or Alzheimer's . I have POA and don't know if she is to the point where I can step in and take control. There are days she seems OK and the next day she can't remember how to get home. People have been taking advantage of her with all kinds of scams for money and I'm afraid she will be left with nothing to take care of her own needs. Any help in what I need to do to protect her and her property would be greatly appreciated
 


xylene

Senior Member
There are days she seems OK and the next day she can't remember how to get home.
Your mother is not making a dramatic recovery when she goes back to normal.

The abrupt changes in mood and cognitive function are the hallmark of dementia.

Have a sit down with a lawyer, mom's doctor, and later with mom, on a good day.
 
I'm the only surviving child. I have an appointment with her doctor next week. She is very secretive about her finances and I suspect it's because she has been a victim on scams. She had a good pension from her late husband that I helped her set up with monthly payouts. She would have never had to touch the principle ,but from what I can tell ,she has dwindled this down to less then $100,00.00 and now has a mortgage on her once paid off home. She wont tell me the amount. As you can see she is stubborn but I know she needs intervention for her protection. So I will start with her doctor and then a attorney. Who's attorney should I seek out hers or mine?
 

lwpat

Senior Member
You first need to see what the doctor says. Then I suggest that you both make an appointment with her attorney.
 

BlondiePB

Senior Member
I'm the only surviving child. I have an appointment with her doctor next week. She is very secretive about her finances and I suspect it's because she has been a victim on scams. She had a good pension from her late husband that I helped her set up with monthly payouts. She would have never had to touch the principle ,but from what I can tell ,she has dwindled this down to less then $100,00.00 and now has a mortgage on her once paid off home. She wont tell me the amount. As you can see she is stubborn but I know she needs intervention for her protection. So I will start with her doctor and then a attorney. Who's attorney should I seek out hers or mine?
Unless mom is declared incompetent by a court and a guardian is appointed (you), mom will still be able do what she wants with most of her assests & keep secretive about her finances - regardless if you are her POA.

See your own guardian attorney & petition for guardianship over your mom.
 

lwpat

Senior Member
Hi Blondie
I don't see enough here for a court to award guardianship and it might ruin the relationship and actually make things worse. Plus where is the money going to come from for the legal fight? That's why I suggested people the mother already trusts.
 

mb94

Member
Do get a full and complete medical workup from doctors experienced in this area. A friend of the family, who everyone assumed had dementia because of his odd behaviors and memory loss, was diagnosed as having depression. Sure enough, three months on anti-depressants and therapy and he was acting the way he used to. I've also heard of people with low B-12 also having symptoms that appear to be neurological, but can be fixed with proper diet and vitamins. While many people do have more serious problems, it's important to rule out all other causes before assuming the worst.
 

BlondiePB

Senior Member
Hi Blondie
I don't see enough here for a court to award guardianship and it might ruin the relationship and actually make things worse. Plus where is the money going to come from for the legal fight? That's why I suggested people the mother already trusts.
How ya doing, Iwpat?
The problem with people the mom already trusts is that the mother here, regardless of any POA that the mom granted when/if no question of competency was happening is that the POA cannot deal with what needs to be done to protect the mother from herself. Just because a person has POA papers drafted, that grantor can still carry on and run his/her own affairs. Below, the OP stated this:
People have been taking advantage of her with all kinds of scams for money and I'm afraid she will be left with nothing to take care of her own needs. Any help in what I need to do to protect her and her property would be greatly appreciated
And this:
There are days she seems OK and the next day she can't remember how to get home.
Not knowing how to get oneself home is incompetent.

The court evaluators who will visit the mother will report to the court if the mom needs a guardian and exactly what type of guardian would be appropriate (limited/plenary) or if one is needed at all. I've learned exactly what to say to wards so that they feel that their assests are totally safe & protected from anyone. It takes a bit of time, but the ward's fear is replaced with relief from not having to deal with all their responsibilities of daily living.

Why would there be a legal battle when the OP is the only living sibling?
 

lwpat

Senior Member
Why would there be a legal battle when the OP is the only living sibling?
If her mother contests guardianship. But I bow to your greater experience. There is never an easy way.
 

BlondiePB

Senior Member
If her mother contests guardianship.
It doesn't work that way for the alleged incompetent. To simplify, the most important factor with which the judge makes his/her decision is based on the reports/evaluations done by the court appointed evaluators.
 
Thanks for your replies. This is a very touchy situation to be in. Her sister had Alzheimer's and her biggest fear is she will end up just like her. I can see it coming. I hope the doctor can be helpful and prescribe something that may slow down the process. She is so trusting of strangers it's scary and frankly I'm surprised she hasn't been completely ripped off of everything. Sadly she wont confide in me or ask for help until she is in to deep. I have had to get her out of many bad deals. you know the ones that start ,
Hi I'm from Africa and have all this money to get out of the country , all I need is you SS # and bank account. She is afraid to say no to anybody except me.
 

lwpat

Senior Member
If you can get proof that she has been ripped off it will make it much easier to get guardianship.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top