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Stepparent adoption

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What is the name of your state? VA

I'll try to make this brief. My SD who is 14, we have primary physical custody of and whose Mom never paid CS, has only seen the child once in the last year, texted her once in the last six months. Her mom does have court order visitation every other weekend, and 6 weeks during the summer all of which we have not a word from her. We were just going to let a sleeping dog lie. We obtained primary custody after my SD contacted her counselor at school and asked that he share with us the conditions in which she was living with. Mom apparently was/is an alcoholic/drug abuser.

Today my SD asked me if I would consider adopting her, I told her of course. I do not know though if I can make her question a reality. What does it take and I do not like to judge anyone, yet I just can not believe this woman just has basically abandoned her little girl. Her dad and I have been married for 10 years.

Her Mom has also moved out of the state she was living in and we have no idea her address? Do we contact her through her last known cell phone? Can any of this be done without too much attorney involvement? Can this be done on our own?

Thank you for your advise in advance :)
 


CourtClerk

Senior Member
First of all, if your name doesn't appear in that custody order "we" didn't get custody of anything. Your husband got custody of his daughter. You need a family law attorney, as mom is going to have to give consent. She has not abandoned the child, as you have admitted she has contacted the child, and she has no legal obligation to visit, but she does have the right to exercise visitation, if she chooses.


See below for the Virginia Code applicable for step parent adoptions

§ 63.2-1241. Adoption of child by new spouse of birth or adoptive parent.

A. When the spouse of a birth parent of a child born in wedlock or the spouse of a parent by adoption of the child has died, and the surviving birth parent or parent by adoption marries again and the new spouse desires to adopt the child, on a petition filed by the surviving birth parent or parent by adoption and new spouse for the adoption and change of name of the child, the circuit court may proceed to order the proposed adoption or change of name without referring the matter to the local director.

B. When a birth parent of a legitimate infant or a parent by adoption is divorced and marries again and the birth parent or parent by adoption desires the new spouse to adopt the child, on a petition filed by the birth parent or parent by adoption and the new spouse for the adoption and change of name of the child, or if the child is the result of surrogacy, the circuit court may proceed to order the proposed adoption or change of name without referring the matter to the local director if the other birth parent or parent by adoption consents in writing to the adoption or change of name or if the other birth parent or parent by adoption is deceased.

C. When the custodial birth parent of a child born to parents who were not married to each other at the time of the child's conception or birth marries and the new spouse of such custodial birth parent desires to adopt such child, on a petition filed by the custodial birth parent and spouse for the adoption and change of name of the child, the circuit court may proceed to order the proposed adoption and change of name without referring the matter to the local director if (i) the noncustodial birth parent consents, under oath, in writing to the adoption, or (ii) the mother swears, under oath, in writing, that the identity of the father is not reasonably ascertainable, or (iii) the putative father named by the mother denies paternity of the child, or (iv) the child is fourteen years of age or older and has lived in the home of the person desiring to adopt the child for at least five years, or (v) the noncustodial birth parent is deceased, or (vi) the noncustodial birth parent executes a denial of paternity under oath and in writing, or (vii) the noncustodial birth parent:

a. Is not an acknowledged father pursuant to § 20-49.1; and

b. Is not an adjudicated father pursuant to § 20-49.8; and

c. Is not a presumed father; and

d. Is a putative father who has not registered with the Putative Father Registry pursuant to Article 7 (§ 63.2-1249 et seq.) of this chapter and, if his identity is reasonably ascertainable, he has been provided notice pursuant to § 63.2-1250 and failed to timely register.

D. When a single person who has adopted a child thereafter marries and desires his spouse to adopt the child, on a petition filed by the adoptive parent and the spouse for the adoption and change of name of the child, the circuit court may proceed to order the proposed adoption or change of name without referring the matter to the local director.

(Code 1950, § 63-356.1; 1950, p. 626; 1956, c. 300; 1968, c. 578, § 63.1-231; 1974, c. 421; 1975, c. 364; 1977, c. 526; 1979, c. 339; 1986, cc. 481, 482; 1987, c. 482; 1992, c. 607; 1995, cc. 772, 826; 2000, c. 830, § 63.1-219.48; 2002, c. 747; 2006, cc. 825, 848; 2007, cc. 606, 623.)
 
Thank you very much for your knowledge and finding the VA codes. I truly appreciate it! You are correct WE did not get primary physical custody, my husband did. I used the word abandoned due to the fact that these were the words my 14yr old SD said when she asked the question to me.

Again, I appreciate your help!

Hope you have a great weekend. :)

If you do not mind just how are we supposed to locate the mother? Any advice there?
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
Hire a private investigator, most family law attorneys will either work with one or have access to one.

A lot of states require you to do due diligence and prove due diligence before they will allow service by publication. Check with a local family law attorney for relevant statutes and procedure. I'm on the other coast.:)
 

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