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I don't know what to do.

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What is the name of your state? California

Just yesterday my brother and I had to make a decision whether to have a feeding tube put into my Mom as she has Alzheimers and last week she had a major stroke. We decided this is not what she would have wanted. My brother has durable power of attorney for my Mom's healthcare, and went home take a look at her living trust to see if she had given any instructions. This is what it states:

A. "If the extention of my life would result in a mere biological existence, devoid of cognitive function, with no reasonable hope for normal functioning, then I do not desire any form of life sustaining procedures or, if life sustaining reatment has been instituted, I desire that it be withdrawn."

B. "I wish food and wter provided to me including through a tube or by artifical means if I am terminally ill. I do wish cardiac resuscitation or mechanical respiration if I am terminally ill."

Before her stroke my Mom is in the very last stages of Alzheimers only speaking jibberish. Now she barely opens her eyes. Since this seems a bit contradicting, is it something that can be determined by the doctor or do we also need to get her lawyer involved in deciding whether or not a feeding tube should or should not be given to my Mom.

Also, I know we'll be losing her very soon, and I am the executor of her living trust. She has always told me that she wants to be buried in a really pretty night gown in Nebraska (where she was born and with her family). She has the money to be able to do this, but will I be able to access her money in order to make this happen or will the bank put an automatic freeze on her account? I know this sounds a bit simple, but to be honest, I am having a difficult time thinking straight right now and I'm trying to look ahead for any possible roadblocks that I may encounter.

Thank You
 
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curb1

Senior Member
It is your decision about prolonging the situation. I think you made the correct decision. You need to go to the bank now to see how the accounts are titled. Also, explain the situation with the bank. They should be able to answer your questions easily. They go through this all the time. You will need death certificates for several of your upcoming situations. The funeral home will help you out with the certificates, as well as the transporting of your mother to Nebraska. It is not as expensive as one would think. The sooner you ask questions, the better.
 

curb1

Senior Member
Take a copy of the trust to the bank with you. Does anyone have a power of attorney to handle her assets before death?
 
My brother and I are both trustees for my Mom, however, she appointed me as her executor. My brother and I are both tustees on her bank accounts and the bank does recognize both of us as being able to access her account.

So, the bottom line is that this decsion is for my brother and I to make, and we can supercede what she has written in her living trust?
 
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curb1

Senior Member
You two are the only persons who will ever see the trust. You probably have a good idea of her wishes. You have my sympathy. Remember, a POA will not have validity after death. You need to know (from the bank) if you will have access to the accounts after death. You might have access before death, but not immediately after death. It depends on how the accounts are titled. Talk to the bank.
 
I am not sure if my brother and I will be the only two who sees her trust. I have an estranged sister who is very materialistic and does not care about my Mom. Even though she is receiving a third of my Mom's estate (there are three of us kids) I'm sure she will still get a lawyer. Will a copy of my Mom's trust be given to my sister's lawyer? If so, I'm sure she'll take a fine tooth comb to my Mom's trust even though my Mom has a clause stating that if anyone contests her trust that person is out.

I noticed that you are located in Oregon. Is the interpretation the same regarding living trusts no matter what state you are located in? Or do you know if there are there any laws in California that may come into play with respect to this issue?
 
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curb1

Senior Member
I don't know what you are worried about. Be upfront about this. If your sister is a beneficiary, give her a copy. Hiding things at this stage only invites legal expenses. Once she hires an attorney, then you will need to, also. Then the attorneys will start writing letters back and forth at a minimum of $100 per contact and it will get out of hand quickly. Don't get the attorneys involved just because you can't communicate well.

It sounds like there is more to this situation than you have explained so far. What you have done so far does not appear to promote any controversy. Where is the problem?
 

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