Worried about my dad

What is the name of your state? NC


1st off my dad is still alive.

But here is the story...

My dad was married to my stepmom for 30 years. She died 2 years ago. He of course had to change his will etc. and willed me & my children the bulk of his estate.

Here is the problem, I know my dad has been lonely since my stepmom died and I understand that and encouraged him to find someone to spend time with (a lady friend). Well he did. He joined an online dating service and met a nurse who after only knowing for 2 or 3 months is considering marrying. I totally DO NOT like where this is going. She has children of her own who she never see's and doesn't even know where one of them are. And frankly doesn't seem to care. Anyway, that is her business.

My dad is a severe diabetic, she is actively encouraging him to STOP taking his diabetes medicine and has been sending him pain killers, muscle relaxers and sleeping pills in the mail telling him to take them because she doesn't think he gets enough sleep.

She lives all the way across the country, but is planning on relocating here and marrying him as far as I know. Which I know of course will change everything involving his estate. She will end up with 100% of it probably.

I am more worried about him being so niave and taking her 'medical' advice and those pills than I am his estate though to be honest.

I know someone will pipe up and say 'it's not YOUR money to begin with' ...but without going into a whole big back story, in all moral rights, I should stay his legal heir because of the relationship we have had, well up until the internet nurse came along.

I have tried to talk to him about this (not his estate but how dangerous it is to not take his meds and TO take meds that havent been prescribed for him from his dr....) but he has lost it and brushes it off thinking she knows whats best for him, as shes a nurse and they've known each other a whole 3 months!

I'm quite angry with this woman for jeopardizing his health, well I think she is! And I would be livid if something happened to him and she ended up with everything he has worked so hard for his entire life.

I am at my wits end worrying about it, he has a job working with the public so no-one would ever believe that he's lost his marbles since meeting this woman. But I really believe he has.

Is there anything I can do to make sure this woman doesn't get everything my dad owns if he dies before she does? That is if she doesn't rob him blind while he's still alive.

I know some people would say it's greedy etc. but I would be very upset if she inherited his estate and my kids and myself ended up with nothing.


(ps. there are an awful lot of wicked stepmother stories on here...which isn't surprising!!)

also...

He treated my mother like crap when they were married. But they got over it and became friends.

About 6 months ago she had to borrow 5k from him. He gave her a cashiers check from his bank with just 'loan' in the memo part. They didn't sign any sort of documents saying I will pay you back this much by this time or anything. He just said 'pay me back when you can'.

I told her I wouldn't give him one red cent since he stiffed her for years on child support ever since this whole fiasco has been going on. Knowing her though, she will give it back to him. But, legally she doesn't HAVE to by any certain time since the agreement was verbal and was 'pay me back whatever you can whenever you can' does she?

All of this has brought back memories of how really low down he was when I was small. And as good of friends as they had became he doesn't even speak to my mom much anymore now that this woman has charged her way into all our lives. I honestly think he has mental problems now and I am worried sick about his health. I know a lot of it was/is loneliness, but enough is enough.

I hate having these bad feelings now because he and I had came so far in our relationship.

Check with an attorney about this. Your feelings are understandable, but keep your relationship as cordial as possible. Don't give him an excuse to dump his family for the nurse. Is he comfortable in taking you (and your kids) out of his life in exchange for the nurse? The inheritance could be protected if that is his desire.

The real problem will be if she takes his money and leaves. Then he will not have anything for his long term care and you will probably be stuck with it. You should be worrying about him rather than about whether you will receive anything and to be fair it sounds like you are.

Couldn't the OP get this nursey-woman in a heap of trouble by reporting her for sending drugs like that? Is she sending them via US mail? How is the nurse acquiring these drugs?

My dad's elderly and I know if he were in a situation like this, I'd do what I could to just get the nurse out of the picture.

I'm positive your dad is being used and set-up to line her pockets and I feel very bad for him, even if he was a bad father.

Background check

I think you should get a background check on this woman and present it to your father.