My kid got arrested for shoplifting-now what

California-I dropped her off at the mall like I have a hundred times before and the birthday girl decided she wanted to get herself stuff for the big day..16. Birthday girl is freind not daughter.
My kid went along with it and they got caught. The friend has had some run ins...but has been doing good for a while.
My kid has never been in any trouble. But she does not deny going along with it...she is being punished at home for being stupid...but the courts will be punishing her for doing the deed.
Stealing is stealing and is not tolerated in her family.
I have never been directly involved in shoplifting so I don't know what to expect...the court date is in January. Any input is appreciated. She is 15. Friend turned 16.

lizzymom said:

California-I dropped her off at the mall like I have a hundred times before and the birthday girl decided she wanted to get herself stuff for the big day..16. Birthday girl is freind not daughter.
My kid went along with it and they got caught. The friend has had some run ins...but has been doing good for a while.
My kid has never been in any trouble. But she does not deny going along with it...she is being punished at home for being stupid...but the courts will be punishing her for doing the deed.
Stealing is stealing and is not tolerated in her family.
I have never been directly involved in shoplifting so I don't know what to expect...the court date is in January. Any input is appreciated. She is 15. Friend turned 16.

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**A: what was stolen and the estimated value? What is the friends criminal and school record like?

I haven't gotten that information yet. She says sweaters..it was at JCPenny's so probably under 200 bucks...friend's record is stuff with her household...her mom called the police everytime they argued..but never any shoplifting..
guess I should add that neither of them is doing great in school right now...but the school year started out great for both of them...friend was getting straight A's...
needless to say...friend will not be allowed to socialize with my kid again...although I know they'll try.

What kind of drugs is she using?

She can expect a fine and probation - probably community service as well - and a hefty civil assessment from the store itself (usually about $300 or slightly more).

So, your daughter will owe money from her allowance for a long time. AND, getting a job will be tougher if convicted for this offense because she will have to admit to a theft related criminal conviction (aka "true finding" in juvenile court) if she applies for a job and they ask.

- Carl

get a lawyer! Friends dont let friends plead guilty!

sefnfot said:

get a lawyer! Friends dont let friends plead guilty!

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In a case like this, the issue is usually "do I risk a greater penalty at trial? Or, do I take a deal that keeps me out of jail and might result in a lower penalty?"

A lawyer can help in the deal, certainly, and one should be consulted. However, it's very unlikely that fighting the charge will result in anything more than a lump payment to the attorney.

- Carl

CdwJava-thanks for the input. I actually have not had any serious legal trouble with my kids before now, so I had no idea what to expect. Thats what I was asking...
Ohiogal I have always appreciated your candor...but these kids actually don't use drugs. Really, there are some out there.
They knew exactly what they were doing..and can articulate it.
That's the part that pisses me off.

Unfortunately I can't thrash her like I would have been as a kid..I would have had welts on my body for weeks. But I CAN take away her world as she knew it.
I have consulted an attorney, they are actually quite reasonable.

2K for the whole thing and the advice they gave me at the FREE consultation was, "try the public defender, if you don't jive well, give us a call" basically, she wasn't terribly worried about jail time or anything, which was my concern.
It sounds like for a first offense, probation, community service and a fine is probably all we're looking at. Kid doesn't know that, and I'm not telling her. I want her to sweat it out. (unless she reads this)

I DO think my kid should be punished by the court. I would like to be able to have her publicly humiliated and thrashed with a switch. But the nanny laws say I can't.

She works and makes about 200 bucks a month. So she won't be spending it on make-up for a while. I just didn't want her to go to juvie..it only makes worse kids out of stupid kids.

I'd take diapers and sniveling over teenagers and hormones anyday if given the choice.
Thanks again

lizzymom said:

I DO think my kid should be punished by the court. I would like to be able to have her publicly humiliated and thrashed with a switch. But the nanny laws say I can't.

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FINALLY... a parent that doesn't take the "not my child" or "my child is pure as the driven snow" attitude... I heart you. Although I'd be beating the snot out of my child, personally, and I could care less what law says what. No one regulates discipline in my house but me. I'll stick my foot up their behinds and worry about the law later. I'm a big fan or spare the rod, spoil the child.

I'd take diapers and sniveling over teenagers and hormones anyday if given the choice.
Thanks again

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I hear you... but hey, she's almost 18. You're almost done!!! (at least legally)

Curt,
I tell you, today my son has taken me through it. Seems like I want to go buy the biggest bubble I can find, put him in there and leave him there until he's old enough to leave the house. Maybe I can preserve the brain cells... the hormones snuck into the house overnight.

So, here's my soapbox...hee hee...follow me.
We're Catholic, (typical fall away and return type) and noone does guilt like Jews and Catholics...soooo, she sat for the first day sulking...then she wanted to go to confession. GUILT.
First time in three years. GUILT.
Face to face, not the annonymous, in the closet, kind. (we have choice and she has NEVER had a face to face) GUILT.
It was Christmas, so the lines were long and it's been so long since she's been, she brought one of those guidance pamphlets...it takes you through venial, mortal sins etc...for the examination of conscience.
She reads for a while and looks up at me. "Mom, I'm gonna be in there a while, I've commited every sin in this book" I say, "you wanna go ahead of me?" she says, "sure". GUILT. hee hee.
Now, most are in and out in 30 seconds.
She was in there 10 minutes minimum. GUILT.
HEE HEE BWAA HAA HAA. sorry..couldn't help it.
She is punishing herself. Nothing I or the courts could do could beat that. Although it would be my pleasure to beat her to within an inch of her life with an earthly weapon...switch, belt or hand. Friggin brat.

Thanks for the feedback everyone.
I wasn't trying to push religion and hope I haven't offended anyone, I just had to share.
Oh and she's inviting the boy involved to go with us to mass next week and then to the youth group meeting, he said yes and his mom is thrilled.
I wonder what kind of drugs they have? We shall see.
Mine is not pure as the driven, her problem is..I REMEMBER BEING A TEEN, AND I WAS BAD! I JUST DIDN'T GET CAUGHT. (shhhh don't tell.)
Okay off of soapbox

My kids are in their 20's and I am here to tell you, it does get better! Yes, the teen years are hell, but eventually it comes to an end. Take heart; there is light at the end of the tunnel!

I just thought I would update all on what ACTUALLY happened so far.
I looked up criminal attorney's in the phone book and picked some that had juvenile law listed. Also I was careful to chose them in the same county.
I set up one of those free consultations with an attorney. She was great. She talked to me over the phone for about 45 minutes and then invited me to bring my daughter with me to for the free consultation.
I recommend this for the lay person.
She told us everything that could possibly happen and addressed my daughter as a client. It gave my stupid kid a reality check about how serious this could have been.
Quite frankly, she was the fourth attorney I interviewed and the only one that actually invited us to the office. I would have hired her if I had the money anyway.
Well at the hearing-that VERY attorney was assigned to my daughter as counsel.
She is not really a public defender but is on a board in the juvenile court system and sometimes gets assigned when one or more kids are involved and they all opt for PD.
We were tickled and relieved.
So, it turns out the other two kids have bigger records than even my daughter realized.
Mine, not having any record is being given the chance to plea down from 5 felonies to 2 misdimeanors...which really only keeps her out of juvie...there is a court date Monday to take the plea deal.
She is reevaluating herself and her choices...thank God.
Probation is a real posibility..but it gives me back a lot more control and helps her get back on track..so I see it as a good thing.
Now she is busy collecting personal references from family and letters of recommendation from her employers, just to show the judge this behavior is not normal for her and very unlikely to happen again..
So far she has 15 references just from friends and other adults she has worked with, and getting a reality check on the impact reputation can have.
She does not have to reveal what happened on job applications or notify her employers, since she is under 18.
She has even voluntarily opted for personal couseling which I am happy to pay for, but is covered by insurance, and she is taking a proactive approach to getting her act together.
Anyway I just wanted to update the board in hopes the info helps someone.
I'll post again after sentencing.

I just thought I would update all on what ACTUALLY happened so far.
I looked up criminal attorney's in the phone book and picked some that had juvenile law listed. Also I was careful to chose them in the same county.
I set up one of those free consultations with an attorney. She was great. She talked to me over the phone for about 45 minutes and then invited me to bring my daughter with me to for the free consultation.
I recommend this for the lay person.

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As do I. I recommend people consult with an attorney. most offer free consults or charge minimally. And if they are willing to spend the time talking to you and your daughter that is fabulous.

She told us everything that could possibly happen and addressed my daughter as a client.

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Your daughter IS/WAS the client.

It gave my stupid kid a reality check about how serious this could have been.

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Good. So hopefully after grounding (yes I followed this entire thread and applaud the way you have been handling this) and the court is done with her she will NOT be so stupid again.

Quite frankly, she was the fourth attorney I interviewed and the only one that actually invited us to the office. I would have hired her if I had the money anyway.

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That is pitiful that she was the ONLY one who invited you to her office.

Well at the hearing-that VERY attorney was assigned to my daughter as counsel.
She is not really a public defender but is on a board in the juvenile court system and sometimes gets assigned when one or more kids are involved and they all opt for PD.
We were tickled and relieved.

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I am aware of appointed counsel that are not PDs. I am one -- I do not work for the public defender's office but I am often appointed to juvenile cases because I am willing to take those cases.

So, it turns out the other two kids have bigger records than even my daughter realized.
Mine, not having any record is being given the chance to plea down from 5 felonies to 2 misdimeanors...which really only keeps her out of juvie...there is a court date Monday to take the plea deal.

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Well it also keeps her from having a FELONY record. And hopefully now that she knows the records that her "friends" have, she will walk away or at least act smarter if she is around them.

She is reevaluating herself and her choices...thank God.
Probation is a real posibility..but it gives me back a lot more control and helps her get back on track..so I see it as a good thing.

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And she is still being punished (bad decisions have consequences) and you are utilizing this as a time to teach her and not make excuses for her. That attitude is EXTREMELY refreshing.

Now she is busy collecting personal references from family and letters of recommendation from her employers, just to show the judge this behavior is not normal for her and very unlikely to happen again..
So far she has 15 references just from friends and other adults she has worked with, and getting a reality check on the impact reputation can have.

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Good.

She does not have to reveal what happened on job applications or notify her employers, since she is under 18.

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That may have been different IF she ended up with a felony on her record. Juvenile records are NOT automatically sealed by the way.

She has even voluntarily opted for personal couseling which I am happy to pay for, but is covered by insurance, and she is taking a proactive approach to getting her act together.
Anyway I just wanted to update the board in hopes the info helps someone.
I'll post again after sentencing.

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Thanks for updating. And I am glad to see you are being a parent. That is not meant as a criticism but too often parents who post here want to be their child's "friend" and get them out of the trouble the child has found themselves in. You however are supporting your child but not making excuses for her. I am glad to see you post for those reasons as well as updating others who may be in a similar situation.

So, here's the update. My kid went to court for her punishment Monday. She got 6 months non wardship probation. community service..and work project. We also got a suit from the store. 250.00.
There are some minor court costs and of course we'll have to pay for the work project.
My daughter is going to use her money to pay the store, they let us set up a payment plan that would work for her. Her father and I will take up the court fees..but she will pay me for gas to transport her to any and all commitments. And she HAS to keep her job during this...or get another one. We are not letting her skate.
The other girl, got one year formal probation. Family counseling and community service. I'm not sure what her fees are but the parents have to pay for what ever the court orders.
If she even gets in trouble in school she will go to juvenile hall for the rest of her sentence. They are forbidden from contacting each other at all but they aren't friends anymore anyway..thank god.
I just wanted to share the outcome. It's not over yet, but it is fair.