T
tracyt
Guest
My grandmom was moved to assisted living about 6 months ago -- here is New Jersey. My mom has durable power of attorney and I am down as second in line for power of attorney in case anything happens to my mom (she has cancer).
When my mom was first diagnosed with cancer, my uncle was supposed to take care of my grandmom while my mom was undergoing chemotherapy (since I live out of state). She was still living at home at this point. To make a long story short, he let her health insurance lapse, and never gave her medication. Since he wouldn't help with her care, and she was getting really bad...like calling 911 all the time, and wandering around her neighborhood, my mom and I decided to search around for the best assisted living community that would handle her needs on a daily basis. My mom then became power of attorney to make sure that my grandmoms finances were taken care of. She also had to get her new health insurance through her own plan at work. She was in 3 different places before finally finding the place where she resides now. Since moving there, she is doing wonderful now, and is very happy and secure.
When my grandpop passed away, he left my grandmom VERY financially "set" for the rest of her life. The only problem is that my uncle insists on making trouble for my mom. He had tried in the past to get Power of Attorney, but my grandmom would not sign for him or agree to it. She knew that she couldn't trust him and that he would take everything and leave her high and dry. When my mom became power of attorney, my uncle VERY upset because he was planning on having my grandmom committed and having everything signed over to him (he had said this on more than one occasion!). Since his plans didn't work out, he has been causing all kinds of other problems. He has taken a video camera in to tape her, trying to get her to say that she made a mistake when she signed power of attorney to my mom. He also went to the place where she was and demanded that they let him take her out. Making a huge scene and causing the police to have to be called in. We have no idea why he wanted to take her out for the day, but we know it wasn't for anything good!
My mom is worried that he will make enough of a problem that they may ask her to leave the facility all together.
My uncle and his wife have also been inside her house - and her metal box is missing that contained stock certificates, their will, money, and ownership papers to her house. He and my mom were the only people who had keys to the property, and there was no sign that the house was broken into, so she knows it was my uncle who took took this box. My grandfather had told my mom years before he died that he had a will written and that she was the executor of the estate, knowing that she would be fair about everything. We have no idea who is lawyer was, but the interesting thing is that my Aunt (wife of my "problem" uncle) works for wills and probates at the county courthouse, and would have known what the will entailed. We are being told that there are no wills on file with them there now, and since their only copy was in that box, we are stuck not knowing anything about the will. We have no idea who his lawyer was and have no idea how to go about finding out who it was.
The place where she is staying costs over $4,000 a month out-of-pocket (which proves that my mom is only concerned with my grandmom getting the best care possible). My uncle, however, does not want her there because it costs so much.
Another problem is my grandmoms house. It is HUGE and costing a bundle to keep vacant. My mom was thinking of renting it, but there are too many things that need to be repaired first, and it is FULL of stuff. We already checked storage places and it would cost at least $500 a month to store all of that stuff. We were going to have yard sales to empty it, but there are things in there that are worth much more than what she would get at a yard sale. I have been selling some of the things on Ebay knowing that she will get much more for them. She wanted me to take 50% of whatever sold, but since her place costs so much, I thought 50% was too much, so we have settled on 25% commission for everything that sells. I do Ebay as a full time job to stay home with my kids, so this works out great...I am helping my grandmom, my mom and am able to stay with my kids at the same time.
Now to my main question (since you now know just about everything I think)... My husband and I are selling our house, and having another built. The house would not be ready for occupancy for several months. My mom suggested to us that we move into my grandmoms house during this period. This would not only help us, but it would help my mom and grandmom. We would pay for anything that we use, like the heat, phone, and everything else that my mom has been paying for my grandmom anyway. So it would be a savings, plus I would be able to sell her things for her on Ebay without having to lug everything to my house (like I have been doing for the past 3 months). The house would be secure, and we would make any repairs that needed to be made in order to prepare the house for sale. Right now we are not sure what needs to be done, and unless you are living there on a daily basis it is difficult to know what the house needs. So we are looking at this as a positive thing for everyone involved, and it would be of NO additional financial burden on my grandmom.
Our problem is....my uncle!! My grandmom has already given us permission, and has said that she would feel alot more secure if we were there. It would only be for a few months - to a MAX of a year (should anything weird happen with the new house). We have written up a letter stating everything and my grandmom is going to be signing it for us tomorrow, along with 2 witnesses, and her doctor stating that she is capable of making this decision. We then want to get a lease written up so that it will be LEGAL, and that there is nothing that my uncle can do to put us out on the street during this time.
What I need to know is WHAT we need to have stated in this letter and lease and if there is anything that my uncle can do to put a stop to our temporarily staying there. We are also worried that if my grandmom passes away during the time that we are there, that he can have us thrown out since he would be getting part of her estate. Since we can't find the will, we are not able to prove that my mom is the executor of the will! The only one at this point who would have a copy of their will is the attorney that drew it up - and we have no idea who that would be!
Do you think what we want to do would be a major problem -- and is there any way he can sue us?? He is just so worried that there will not be anything left of the estate when my grandmom passes on...but we are hoping that will be the case!! We want HER to use up all of her money while she is alive. My grandpop worked hard all his life to make sure she was taken care of, and that is what the money should be used for!
Any help you can give us would be greatly appreciated
When my mom was first diagnosed with cancer, my uncle was supposed to take care of my grandmom while my mom was undergoing chemotherapy (since I live out of state). She was still living at home at this point. To make a long story short, he let her health insurance lapse, and never gave her medication. Since he wouldn't help with her care, and she was getting really bad...like calling 911 all the time, and wandering around her neighborhood, my mom and I decided to search around for the best assisted living community that would handle her needs on a daily basis. My mom then became power of attorney to make sure that my grandmoms finances were taken care of. She also had to get her new health insurance through her own plan at work. She was in 3 different places before finally finding the place where she resides now. Since moving there, she is doing wonderful now, and is very happy and secure.
When my grandpop passed away, he left my grandmom VERY financially "set" for the rest of her life. The only problem is that my uncle insists on making trouble for my mom. He had tried in the past to get Power of Attorney, but my grandmom would not sign for him or agree to it. She knew that she couldn't trust him and that he would take everything and leave her high and dry. When my mom became power of attorney, my uncle VERY upset because he was planning on having my grandmom committed and having everything signed over to him (he had said this on more than one occasion!). Since his plans didn't work out, he has been causing all kinds of other problems. He has taken a video camera in to tape her, trying to get her to say that she made a mistake when she signed power of attorney to my mom. He also went to the place where she was and demanded that they let him take her out. Making a huge scene and causing the police to have to be called in. We have no idea why he wanted to take her out for the day, but we know it wasn't for anything good!
My mom is worried that he will make enough of a problem that they may ask her to leave the facility all together.
My uncle and his wife have also been inside her house - and her metal box is missing that contained stock certificates, their will, money, and ownership papers to her house. He and my mom were the only people who had keys to the property, and there was no sign that the house was broken into, so she knows it was my uncle who took took this box. My grandfather had told my mom years before he died that he had a will written and that she was the executor of the estate, knowing that she would be fair about everything. We have no idea who is lawyer was, but the interesting thing is that my Aunt (wife of my "problem" uncle) works for wills and probates at the county courthouse, and would have known what the will entailed. We are being told that there are no wills on file with them there now, and since their only copy was in that box, we are stuck not knowing anything about the will. We have no idea who his lawyer was and have no idea how to go about finding out who it was.
The place where she is staying costs over $4,000 a month out-of-pocket (which proves that my mom is only concerned with my grandmom getting the best care possible). My uncle, however, does not want her there because it costs so much.
Another problem is my grandmoms house. It is HUGE and costing a bundle to keep vacant. My mom was thinking of renting it, but there are too many things that need to be repaired first, and it is FULL of stuff. We already checked storage places and it would cost at least $500 a month to store all of that stuff. We were going to have yard sales to empty it, but there are things in there that are worth much more than what she would get at a yard sale. I have been selling some of the things on Ebay knowing that she will get much more for them. She wanted me to take 50% of whatever sold, but since her place costs so much, I thought 50% was too much, so we have settled on 25% commission for everything that sells. I do Ebay as a full time job to stay home with my kids, so this works out great...I am helping my grandmom, my mom and am able to stay with my kids at the same time.
Now to my main question (since you now know just about everything I think)... My husband and I are selling our house, and having another built. The house would not be ready for occupancy for several months. My mom suggested to us that we move into my grandmoms house during this period. This would not only help us, but it would help my mom and grandmom. We would pay for anything that we use, like the heat, phone, and everything else that my mom has been paying for my grandmom anyway. So it would be a savings, plus I would be able to sell her things for her on Ebay without having to lug everything to my house (like I have been doing for the past 3 months). The house would be secure, and we would make any repairs that needed to be made in order to prepare the house for sale. Right now we are not sure what needs to be done, and unless you are living there on a daily basis it is difficult to know what the house needs. So we are looking at this as a positive thing for everyone involved, and it would be of NO additional financial burden on my grandmom.
Our problem is....my uncle!! My grandmom has already given us permission, and has said that she would feel alot more secure if we were there. It would only be for a few months - to a MAX of a year (should anything weird happen with the new house). We have written up a letter stating everything and my grandmom is going to be signing it for us tomorrow, along with 2 witnesses, and her doctor stating that she is capable of making this decision. We then want to get a lease written up so that it will be LEGAL, and that there is nothing that my uncle can do to put us out on the street during this time.
What I need to know is WHAT we need to have stated in this letter and lease and if there is anything that my uncle can do to put a stop to our temporarily staying there. We are also worried that if my grandmom passes away during the time that we are there, that he can have us thrown out since he would be getting part of her estate. Since we can't find the will, we are not able to prove that my mom is the executor of the will! The only one at this point who would have a copy of their will is the attorney that drew it up - and we have no idea who that would be!
Do you think what we want to do would be a major problem -- and is there any way he can sue us?? He is just so worried that there will not be anything left of the estate when my grandmom passes on...but we are hoping that will be the case!! We want HER to use up all of her money while she is alive. My grandpop worked hard all his life to make sure she was taken care of, and that is what the money should be used for!
Any help you can give us would be greatly appreciated