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Middle School Teacher blabs private info...

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silley

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? UT

My 13yo son is a good student and has never been in trouble until recently when he made a bad choice to try to take an ipod case from a store. Fortunately he was seen putting it in his pocket and taken aside with 3 friends who were stealing cases as well. There were no charges filed because they could see how upset my son was and he had never done anything like the before. My son was very remoseful and cried alot over this humiliating experience. My husband & I spoke with him at great length about this and he was grounded for a month. We just want to put it in the past. He came home the other day and said his friend told him that his mom was on the phone with their teacher and the teacher told the boys mom all about the "Incident" involving my son! My husband and I are mortified to say the least. I don't even know where to start with this or who to contact fist. Please give your advice. Thank you....
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
I don't understand. What "private information? The theft? That is not considered private information.
 

silley

Junior Member
Sorry, let met change that to "personal". However you want to term it, to most it would be considered inappropriate for a teacher to be gossiping.
 

Perky

Senior Member
My school district would frown on this type of behavior from a teacher. We have strict rules regarding confidentiality, and would discipline the teacher in some way. I suggest that you contact the principal of the school, and make a complaint.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Sorry, let met change that to "personal". However you want to term it, to most it would be considered inappropriate for a teacher to be gossiping.
While I agree it was inappropriate for the teacher to discuss this with another parent, it still isn't something "personal" or "private". Your son committed a theft. When you steal from others, in his case a store, it isn't kept "hushed up" like a medical condition or family troubles. If you need to be angry at someone, be angry at your son who placed you in this embarrassing situation.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
My school district would frown on this type of behavior from a teacher. We have strict rules regarding confidentiality, and would discipline the teacher in some way. I suggest that you contact the principal of the school, and make a complaint.
This is NOT a school issue however and did not happen at school. This was something illegal this child did in public. If the teacher found out about it due to school records that would be one thing.
 

Perky

Senior Member
Actually, when the teacher spoke to the parent of another student about the incident, it became a school issue. The teacher is an agent of the school and has no reason to discuss a student with another student's parent. Most, if not all, administrators that I know would take some action against that teacher.

There may be no legal problem here, but in the school culture, this is a big no-no.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
So... we're to believe that the friend knew nothing about your son stealing, and he said nothing to his Mom about it, and his Mom said nothing to her friend the teacher about it, and the teacher just decided to up and blab? Yeah, that and two cents will get you..... not much.

Frankly, your son - and you - should be happy that a little embarrassment by being gossiped about is the most he's had to deal with.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
It is not stated in the post that the teacher was a friend of the other student's parent.
Here is the thing: prove that this was a teacher blabbing and not a person who happened to be a teacher.
Did this teacher learn this information via his/her job by access to school records? Or did this person learn this information via gossip out on the street? Most teacher unions are going to protect a teacher if it was not a violation of FERPA.
 

tuffbrk

Senior Member
It is not stated in the post that the teacher was a friend of the other student's parent.
Who cares? Realistically - the OP has not answered how the teacher learned of the incident anyway. There were 4 chidlren involved, any of the children could have told the teacher or they may have been telling a friend and the teacher overheard, I can come up with many variables. Unless this information was told to the teacher in confidence as part of their school duties - what action realistically could be taken against them?

And has Mom checked in with the other parent to confirm the "story" as told to her by her angel?I'm somewhat amused that a teacher of middle school aged children would find this information to be gossip worthy. It's not unexpected for this age group to shop lift - or attempt to shop lift I should say!

Mine was 12 yo. when he tried to steal an electronic Spanish translator. He wasn't even having a problem in his Spanish class! Would he have preferred that no one ever knew about it? Absolutely! Was it swept under a carpet? NOPE! He was embarrassed and ashamed but only after I made certain it was openly discussed.

Not to hurt him but to reinforce to him that he needed to consider the consequences of his actions. I've counseled him to think about whether he'd be proud when I told anyone what he had done.

It is a lesson worth learning - especially before they start dealing with other pressures and temptations as they continue in the teen years..
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
I have to agree that this is not a school thing. Perhaps if the teacher were on the phone with another student's mother in her capacity as teacher, that MIGHT be inappropriate to pass on. However, if the other mom asked about it or brought it up, then the teacher might be able to comment on it saying she heard about it herself.

I live and work in a small town and my wife happens to be a teacher here. We can hardly talk to ANYONE who is not a parent of a child somewhere in the district, and many have children at my wife's school - some have been in her classroom. Using the train of thought that we couldn't talk about any other child because she is a teacher and another adult might be a parent - even of a child in her class - we would not be able to talk to anyone about much of anything! Add to that my job which requires contacting families with problems and even arresting juveniles (often students), then we'd have to become hermits!

In the end, unless this information was learned by the teacher by way of school records or in some similar capacity in her official function, it is not unlawful to release this information. Certainly, you can call the school and ask that someone talk to her (which they might do ... or they might not), but aside from that, there is little else that can really be done.

- Carl
 

silley

Junior Member
Thank you for all your replies. I don't yet know how the teacher found out as the school would have no record of the incident so I'm assuming she heard it from a student. The teacher is not a close personal friend of the other mom, they were discussing a school related problem with her child. We do understand the embarrrassment is part of the consequences, and that is expected. However, we just think it's very unethical in the duty of a teacher to be passing on such information. We in no way are looking to press any kind of charges, I was just looking for advice on where to go with this so that the teacher will repromanded. My child is in no way an "angel" (who's is?), but he is a great kid.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Thank you for all your replies. I don't yet know how the teacher found out as the school would have no record of the incident so I'm assuming she heard it from a student. The teacher is not a close personal friend of the other mom, they were discussing a school related problem with her child. We do understand the embarrrassment is part of the consequences, and that is expected. However, we just think it's very unethical in the duty of a teacher to be passing on such information. We in no way are looking to press any kind of charges, I was just looking for advice on where to go with this so that the teacher will repromanded. My child is in no way an "angel" (who's is?), but he is a great kid.
It is not unethical for her to say any such thing. You need to understand ethics apparently. As for children being "angels", I know MANY children who do not shoplift or commit other criminal acts.
 
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