conservatorship

My Mother-in-law(83)is being tested for dimentia- she was being cared for by her daughter and son in law, she accused them of abusing/stealing from her to the city/county. The authorities placed her in a hospital/observation environment for 3 wks, which ends this week. The County wants someone in the family to be her conservator, but she has turned her back on all family members, and none of us want the responsiblity, costs. If the County becomes the conservator, what happens to her estate when she passes, I don't think she has a will on file. Can the County take all her assets without asking us first/ do you recommend anyone in the family take on this responsiblity to protect her assets from the County authorities? I doubt she would be cooperative with anyone in the family at this point in time. There should be someway to protect her from herself and her irrationality. None of us has the funds/money to pay for a conservatorship at this time - and if we found a way, are the funds repaid to us? Thanks for your response.

A family member should take on the responsibility of becoming the Conservator. The costs of the proceding, lawyers fees, accounting fees, and all related expenses would be paid from HER estate, assuming that she has assets. Even the Conservator may be paid for his or her services.

She will be unhappy as heck, and angry, and that's too bad. The only alternative (if there is dementia) appears to be to let the county appoint someone. I am not sure what county you are from, but how do you think most counties in America do this. The local judge goes to a list (often created or influenced by the political bosses) or calls a buddy or appoints a local governmental agency to do it. The person appointed hires a lawyer. And EVERYONE who legally can do so starts charging as much expenses and fees as they can to the estate until the money runs out.

So get yourself a lawyer and let someone stand up and take responsibility. It will save the family money in the long run, and probably assure a better standard of care. If a family member is concern that if he or she serves s/he'll be the family member cut out of her Will, get an agreement in place that protects him/her signed by all other heirs.

PS Just because she claims someone is stealing from her and she is a bit impaired does NOT mean that she may not be right.