Fiance wants to adopt my sons.... please help us

What is the name of your state?

Get married. Come back after your first anniversary.

bird2 said:

What is the name of your state? CALIFORNIA

I have two children ages 3 and 1. Their bio father is illegal here, has not worked in two years and when he did work it was under false ids. He is a drug user and alcoholic and has only seen my 1 year old under a total of 5 hours. He has not made an attempt to see my children or pay any child support (he was served).

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and this is the man you chose to have, not one, but two children with?

VeronicaLodge said:

and this is the man you chose to have, not one, but two children with?

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VL, he was USEFUL then. Now she doesn't like him anymore.

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You got your helpful advice, but decided to throw a snit fit. Good job.

If you didn't like VeronicaLodge's answer... you're going to HATE mine. I guarantee you.

bird2 said:

What is the name of your state? CALIFORNIA

I have two children ages 3 and 1.

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ok

Their bio father is illegal here,

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irrelevant, half the population is illegal in California now. Besides, it didn't matter that he was illegal when you were screwing him. By the way... he's not their bio-father, he's their father!!! Get THAT through your head.

has not worked in two years and when he did work it was under false ids.

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and when you were helping spend the money from these illegal jobs... you didn't care

He is a drug user and alcoholic

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I suppose he became a drug abuser and an alcoholic overnight right after you gave birth to both his children... right?

and has only seen my 1 year old under a total of 5 hours.

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Completely his right.. visitation is not an obligation

He has not made an attempt to see my children or pay any child support (he was served).

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He was served, but was he ordered? Big difference.

Through his sister I asked him to give up his parental rights since he seems content with having no responsibility.

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Give them up to who? You have no husband.

He said he would but he wants guarantees from my fiance and I before he signs over his rights.

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Like?

Also, the bio dad signed a VDP and is on my 3 yr. olds birth certificate, he did not sign one for my 1 yr old and is not on the birth certificate.

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He doesn't have to. Perhaps he's unsure of the parentage of said child.

My fiance and children have a strong bond and he wants to adopt both children.

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Everyone is a fiance these days. Women have this strange way of trying to elevate their own status. I bet you were this other guys fiance too... see how that worked out?

Bio dad is a very bad influence and is surrounded with drugs, weapons and people with who are mentally unstable.

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And yet, you had 2 children with a person you say has a history (meaning it already existed) of this...
Here are my questions:

Can bio dad have us fulfill his guarantees when giving up parental rights?

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Depends... what guarantees are you referring to. Your post was a little vague as to what you are talking about. Remember.. he is DAD.

Can bio dad even give up his parental rights that easy by just filing forms out in court? (if he actually went)

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Nope... so tell your boyfriend to cool his jets.

Should my fiance and I get married first, move out together and then pursue custody and adoption?

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Courts don't let people who don't make a committment to each other make a committment to random children just because.... you already have a shaky history with men as it is. You have a 1 year old and you're already ready to hitch up with another man???

Can my fiance become the legal father of my one year old since there is no VDP?

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You mean via a back door adoption? Does your boyfriend realize that once you're done with him (or he's done with you) then he will then be on the hook for the child support you're already complaining man #1 doesn't pay?

Can my fiance adopt my 3 year old when there is a VDP?

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If the child's father consents... and you actually can prove you have a stable household, family and oh.. let's not forget a husband... not just a boyfriend with delusions of grandure.

Thank you in advance!

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Any time

Ohiogal said:

Get married. Come back after your first anniversary.

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I am repeating this answer in case you missed it.

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bird2 said:

No, I didn't miss that answer the first time. I was actually looking for an answer like the one court clerk gave. That was very helpful. Thank You Court Clerk!

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Yes this is an edit of the answer that was here but I have a feeling you are actually the boyfriend in this -- and not the actual mother. Which is why you liked Court Clerk's answer -- because it slams mom. Why don't you actually try being truthful and see where that gets you.

I say 2nd or 3rd anniversary at least...

Grandma's house said:

I say 2nd or 3rd anniversary at least...

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What you say has nothing to do with the law, so unless you have a legal basis for your statement, be quiet.

CourtClerk said:

What you say has nothing to do with the law, so unless you have a legal basis for your statement, be quiet.

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Common sense advice can be useful and valuable too.

LdiJ said:

Common sense advice can be useful and valuable too.

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You know darn good and well common sense and the law sometimes have nothing to do with each other...

I know a whole lot of people who are married on paper only. And can you honestly say from the tone of this post, this sounds like a life long lasting relationship? Come on now.

Common sense would be not making these babies in the first place... common sense would be not trying to bring up all this stuff the OP was clearly ok with all along until the new honey came along. Common sense would be Grandma's house (who I suspect is a former poster under a different name) not giving advise where she knows nothing about...

Let's not forget the common sense of why not just sit back for a while, regroup, grow up, mature, educate yourself, get a better job, make more money, raise your children alone for a while instead of hopping from man to man???
And so?

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