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Somebody help me. Please. I'm 16...

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helpthisgirl

Junior Member
I don't know if anybody can help.
But two years ago, on my 14th bday, I was raped by a guy. He told me to go to his house because he had a gift for me, so we did, and he did it.
I never turned the guy in. I was so scared. He threatened me. And I just wanted to forget about. I told my mom about it just a month ago, and she decided I might need counseling because of the sexual abuse from this guy and because of my father abusing me. She promised to respect my decision to not tell anybody about the rape.
I had to see a counselor about it a couple weeks ago. He told me that EVERYTHING i told him about any abuse was confidential, and assured me he couldn't release anything to the police unless I signed consent forms after the session. I never signed forms. And I told him everything that happened. I didn't tell him the guys last name.
But now he's turning the rape in. He is trying to get my mom and my best friend to give up this guys name. But they won't.
I just want to know....when the police and DCFS come to talk to me, am I going to be in trouble? Becuase I'm not going to talk. I've made up my mind, and I just don't want to deal with it. If they threaten to take my mom to jail if she doesn't give up a name, I'm going to lie and say I made everything up.
I know the right thing to do would be to turn him in so that he doesn't hurt another girl. But you have no idea how afraid I am. I've made a decision; and that is to not turn him in. I may seem weak and stupid...but I can't bring myself to testifying in court or anything...
So if you could just help with my question...Will my mom be in trouble? And am I going to get in trouble?
Can my counselor get in trouble for lying to me and saying that everything was confidential? He tricked me..
 


srjones

Junior Member
Sweetie, yes the right thing would be to turn him in. I understand that you are scared trust me I understand. I was molested at the age of 10 by my aunties husband, I did not tell anyone until I was 13 teen... so for 3 long horrible years I had to see this demon at family functions. I finally told my mom and come to find out he had been doing the same thing to my cousins"his children". Had I told when it happened maybe it never would have happen to my cousins;but I told it was what I NEEDED TO DO FOR MYSELF SO I COULD HEAL. Do what is best for you, I don't think that you will be in trouble it's your choice to report.
 

srjones

Junior Member
Well you didn't call the police and file a report right? So I don't think that you would get into trouble for filing a false report. Why not get that criminal off the streets?
 

helpthisgirl

Junior Member
Because I'm afraid of him. I'm already humiliated.. I just want to forget about him. I know I wouldn't be able to handle talking about it any more than I have. It makes me feel like I want to die. I'm afraid that he'll deny it, and then come find me. Its something I don't want to risk..
 

milspecgirl

Senior Member
there are certain things that counselors, etc are REQUIRED by law to report regardless of confidentiality. Child molestation is 1 of them. Don't be mad at your counselor- by law, they HAD to report it
Someone will tell the police- I can almost guarantee it.
They probably won't make you testify in front of him because you are a victim
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
First of all, let me say that I am so sorry this happened to you, but you have to do what is right.

I know you are scared, but from a legal perspective, once you turn him in, there are several things that can happen to him if he even ATTEMPTS to harm you... for even that, he won't even be able to speak to you, or send anyone else to harm or intimidate you. The law protects victims from that type of harrassment.

Sometimes in life, we have to do the right thing, even if it's hard to do. For you, this is one of those times and there will be many. Hopefully, never again like this, but this is one of many. You owe it to yourself to be free of his torment, he needs to be punished for his actions, and God forbid if you don't tell, this may happen to someone else and the results may be much worse. You don't want nor do you need this on your conscience.

Do the right thing honey and give up the name. When you do, you let them know that you are afraid of him and let them do what is within the law to protect you. That's what law enforcement is there for. Have faith in this system. And find a support group for rape victims. You'll find comfort in the fact that there are many many women in this world that tell and they are OK.

Good luck to you.
 

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
This is not something you're going to be able to forget. But you will heal faster if you see him punished for what he did to you. Don't be mad at the counselor, he's just set you free to seek justice.
 

srjones

Junior Member
I agree with you courtclerk; as a sexual assault victim myself the pain will start to end when you do whats right. What are you ashamed of he assaulted you. Even if you went over to his house willingly you did not consent to sexual intercourse..no means no! That's his shame not yours!!!
 

helpthisgirl

Junior Member
As much as I want to tell, and for him to be put in jail for it. I couldn't. I know it sounds easy "tell the cops and you will be safe" but What if? I can't get this nagging thought out of my head. I've thougt about turning him in for 2 1/2 years now. About 6 months after it happened, I couldn't hold it in and I told my best friend. Every day she tries to convince me to turn him in. And even though I know its up to me to protect other girls, I can't bring myself to do it. His threats have held me back for so long. This counsler doing this has made those fears even worse, and made my decision even stronger. I cannot talk to police about this. I know its weak of me, stupid of me, and selfish of me. But its just something I can't do....and despite the consequences I'll have to pay later in life, I am going to do whatever I can so that I don't have to deal with him ever again. And that means I won't talk to police...if they threaten my mom to tell his last name, i'll be left with no choice but to say I made it up and hope to god I don't get punished for it.
 

srjones

Junior Member
Although, you may not have to see his face ever again,trust me you still will have to deal with him and what he did to you for the rest of your life. I do everyday, i do not let my daughter spend the night at her friends houses, I do not trust men at all. I deal with the guilt everyday, had I said something then my cousins would not have been assaulted. I urge you to do what is right so you can start to heal;he has your power and you need to take it back.
 

helpthisgirl

Junior Member
Having him turned in only increases my fear. It only makes it worse. Because one day, he will get out of jail, and I'll be the first person he visits. He didn't care about getting in trouble when he did it...and he doesn't care now.
I know I'll never see him again now. But if I tell on him, I'll feel like he's going to hurt me.
 

srjones

Junior Member
There are laws that protect you. Prison does not treat sex offenders to kindly so I think that you will be the last of his worries. Hey, I broke up a marriage a "happy home" but I had to tell, I was sick and tired of being scared.
 

srjones

Junior Member
Yes you are right he has free will, so do you. Okay so it's out there you are scared of him, I don't blame you he already hurt you. But what if he does it again to someone close to you? What if he does to a little girl down the street from you? Sometimes you have to put all fears aside and do what is right.
 

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