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Divorce, what a drag.....

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M

MyAlibi

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Texas

My husband has petitioned me for a divorce. I am ok with this but have many questions. First, he wants us to do this on our own but he does have an attorney. I have talked to an attorney but would rather try to save the expense if at all possible, he makes so much more money than I do and I know it could run into thousands of dollars. I just want what at is fair.

History:
Married 11 years on Feb 14, 2008
Been living together since Oct. 1996
No children together, I have a son that is now in his first year of college, husband is the only father he has known personally.
Husband's reason for filing is lack of intimacy.

Husband wishes to resolve this ourselves, so he says... and wants to know what I want? He is willing to give me a little spousal support. I would have to purchase COBRA insurance with most of the funds he would be giving me. He has agreed that I can have what ever I want out of the house and he said he'll make due with what is left. He has ruined my credit and has us in bankruptcy at this time and that will not be finalized for 4 more years.The house was his before we married so he wants to keep it. There is a lien on it by the IRS hence the bankruptcy.

What rights do I have and how can I do this with as little expense as possible ?
We do not want to fight but just to resolve this mess.

Any and all advice is greatly appreciated.
 
Last edited:


Ohiogal

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What is the name of your state? Texas

My husband has petitioned me for a divorce. I am ok with this but have many questions. First, he wants us to do this on our own but he does have an attorney. I have talked to an attorney but would rather try to save the expense if at all possible, he makes so much more money than I do and I know it could run into thousands of dollars. I just want what at is fair.
Click to expand...
Okay.
History:
Married 11 years on Feb 14, 2008
Been living together since Oct. 1996
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Not a long term marriage. Have you worked? Do you have an education.

No children together, I have a son that is now in his first year of college, husband is the only father he has known personally.
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So? Husband is NOT responsible for this child who is not his.

Husband's reason for filing is lack of intimacy.
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Okay. What are the grounds?


Husband wishes to resolve this ourselves, so he says... and wants to know what I want?
Click to expand...
What do you want?

He is willing to give me a little spousal support.
Click to expand...
That is nice of him.

I would have to purchase COBRA insurance with most of the funds he would be giving me.
Click to expand...
Why? You don't HAVE to do anything.

He has agreed that I can have what ever I want out of the house and he said he'll make due with what is left.
Click to expand...
Okay.

He has ruined my credit and has us in bankruptcy at this time and that will not be finalized for 4 more years.
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WRONG. You allowed your own credit to be ruined. YOU are responsible for yourself. Quit blaming him. Your credit being ruined is due to the choices you made. And you had a choice -- he could not have filed bankruptcy for you. YOU would have had to choose to file bankruptcy. And he filed for a Chapter 13 apparently.

The house was his before we married so he wants to keep it. There is a lien on it by the IRS hence the bankruptcy.
Click to expand...
OKay. So no equity available in the house.

What rights do I have and how can I do this with as little expense as possible ?
Click to expand...
You have the right to settle for what you want. You do not need an attorney but you can get one. Apparently there are not alot of assets available.

We do not want to fight but just to resolve this mess.

Any and all advice is greatly appreciated.
Click to expand...
Then resolve it. What exactly are you asking?
 
V

VeronicaLodge

Senior Member
my advice is you need an attorney, he has one, you need one, you have more rights than he is letting you know about. you can have your attorney ask that your attorney expenses be paid by your stbx, you might not get that but you just might.
 
Ohiogal

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
VeronicaLodge said:
my advice is you need an attorney, he has one, you need one, you have more rights than he is letting you know about. you can have your attorney ask that your attorney expenses be paid by your stbx, you might not get that but you just might.
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Slight correction: NO ONE NEEDS an attorney. But she SHOULD get one.
 
M

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Ginny J said:
A general rule of thumb is to never take legal advice from your STBX.
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Especially when stbx has an attorney and you don't.

Amicable divorces are rare enough. But when one party has an attorney and then says they want an amicable divorce and here's what the other party should do, all sorts of red flags go up.
 
Zigner

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Everyone - please re-read the original post. She says she's been MARRIED 11 YEARS!

OP should be running to an attorney - there is way too much at stake here.
 
M

MyAlibi

Junior Member
Ohiogal said:
Okay.


Not a long term marriage. Have you worked? Do you have an education.
Yes I have worked. I did stay home for several years but had a home day care, registered for a while and also worked in the elem. school. I work now as a Manager of a Salon and Stylist

So? Husband is NOT responsible for this child who is not his.

Ok

Okay. What are the grounds?

He claims lack of sex... lol... I'm not going there! To wide an area to cover with strangers... LOL I'm sure the stbx would not appreciate it... !!


What do you want?

Out, with whatever I can get fairly and enough to get on my feet. I guess I just need help with understanding

That is nice of him.
Horray for him... :p

Why? You don't HAVE to do anything.

Understand

Okay.



WRONG. You allowed your own credit to be ruined. YOU are responsible for yourself. Quit blaming him. Your credit being ruined is due to the choices you made. And you had a choice -- he could not have filed bankruptcy for you. YOU would have had to choose to file bankruptcy. And he filed for a Chapter 13 apparently.

Ok so it still is unfair! I had a choice but didn't have 188,000.00 for the IRS either. Especially for a debt that was incurred before our marriage and now my name is associated with the bankruptcy. He has agreed to pay all the debt.

OKay. So no equity available in the house.

If there is any, it would not be much.


You have the right to settle for what you want. You do not need an attorney but you can get one. Apparently there are not alot of assets available.

Not alot of assets... would you say I should just get it over and take what I want? That is what he wants me to do.

Then resolve it. What exactly are you asking?
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I just want to be sure that I'm on the correct path and researching this has opened my eyes. I only want to know that I am doing all I can to be fair and yet get what is fair for myself.
 
LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
VeronicaLodge said:
what? im the one that said you need a lawyer, it most definitely is worth something. if i thought it was worth nothing i would have said, do whatever your stbx tells you
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It also meets the criteria of long term marriage in most states.
 
M

MyAlibi

Junior Member
Divorce.. what a drag

Thank you all for your in-put! I will be calling an attorney today to make an appointment. The stbx is hounding me to death to make some decisions... go figure!
 
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