thank you for the advise, but i also heard that filing for custody first will help the out come of this mess. is that true?
No one can predict the outcome. Realistically - you haven't noted how long you've been married, whether your current husband is Dad to your son, why you are not working (medically incapacitated, SAHM by choice, etc.), how you plan to support yourself and your son.
Your husband claims he is going to stop paying bills but then says he is going to come home. You dont' say if he is living at an alternate residence, with a friend, at his parents, etc. I wouldn't count on him returning if you aren't actively pursuing counseling.
Begin searching for employment, explore caretaking for your son, and understand how much money you need to have to live and support yourself and your son. File for divorce, discuss with your attorney how to ensure he covers the bills he currently does until such time as you actually get to court to be divorced. Hopefully by then you'll be gainfully employed and have arranged for your child to be taken care of while you're at work.