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Plz advice on sep/div in NY

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ROP04

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? NY. What are acceptable reasons for sep/di in NY, can not having intimate and emotional connection (irrefutable diff?)be one of them, married 3 years? how long is this process? He's the only bread winner. I go to college PT. We still live together. He's never home 6AM-10Pm works. We have a child together, and another that's only mine. I'm stay at home mom. All finan. accounts have his name only including home, which was bought after marriage. What r the odds that I stay in the house and that he pays for it? And finally, what are the odds that after I finish college (2 years), and graduate I can go and take my kids and live abroad instead of staying in the states? Is any of this possible? THX so much for ur help in advance....
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? NY. What are acceptable reasons for sep/di in NY, can not having intimate and emotional connection (irrefutable diff?)be one of them, married 3 years? how long is this process? He's the only bread winner. I go to college PT. We still live together. He's never home 6AM-10Pm works. We have a child together, and another that's only mine. I'm stay at home mom. All finan. accounts have his name only including home, which was bought after marriage. What r the odds that I stay in the house and that he pays for it? And finally, what are the odds that after I finish college (2 years), and graduate I can go and take my kids and live abroad instead of staying in the states? Is any of this possible? THX so much for ur help in advance....
You have a short term marriage. If you receive primary custody of the children you will receive child support, but you won't get to live in the house and have him pay for it. You haven't been married nearly long enough to qualify for any type of spousal support.

In addition, the odds of you being able to move either of your children abroad, without the express agreements of their fathers, is slim.
 

Bali Hai

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? NY. What are acceptable reasons for sep/di in NY, can not having intimate and emotional connection (irrefutable diff?)be one of them, married 3 years? how long is this process? He's the only bread winner. I go to college PT. We still live together. He's never home 6AM-10Pm works. We have a child together, and another that's only mine. I'm stay at home mom. All finan. accounts have his name only including home, which was bought after marriage. What r the odds that I stay in the house and that he pays for it? And finally, what are the odds that after I finish college (2 years), and graduate I can go and take my kids and live abroad instead of staying in the states? Is any of this possible? THX so much for ur help in advance....
GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE IN NEW YORK
CRUEL AND INHUMAN TREATMENT

Cruel and inhuman treatment can generally involve either physical or mental cruelty. To be a reason for divorce, the treatment must have such a serious effect upon the physical or mental health of the person seeking the divorce that it is not safe or proper for the parties to continue the marriage. Mere incompatibility between husband and wife is not a ground for divorce in the State of New York. Some examples of acts that courts have held to constitute cruel and inhuman treatment for divorce purposes include physical attacks upon a spouse, constant screaming and profanity or other verbal abuse, gambling away the household funds, staying away from the house to often without an explanation, going out with another man or woman, and wrongfully accusing the other spouse of adulteress relations with another man or woman. Alcoholism by itself is usually not a sufficient basis for divorce unless your spouse becomes cruel or violent when intoxicated so that you fear for your health and safety. Each case stands on its own facts. It is very important that you give a detailed factual history to your divorce attorney so that he or she can judge whether or not you will have sufficient grounds for cruel and inhuman treatment.


ABANDONMENT

Abandonment means that your spouse has intentionally left you without your consent and of his own or her own accord. That is, you did not force or lock your spouse out of the house. It must also be without justification. You must also prove that your spouse had no good reason for leaving you, such as your ill treatment or your consent and also that your spouse left with the intention of never returning and that your spouse did not offer in good faith to return. Unjustified refusal by a spouse to have sexual relations for a full year is also considered a constructive abandonment and may also be considered cruel and inhuman treatment.



IMPRISONMENT FOR THREE CONSECUTIVE YEARS


Divorce on the grounds of imprisonment for three or more years means that the defendant spouse actually must have served three or more years in prison before an action can be brought for divorce on this ground. This applies even if the conviction is later overturned or reversed on appeal. The physical incarceration must last for a minimum of three consecutive years. Anything less will be insufficient.



ADULTERY

Bringing an action upon the grounds of adultery, especially if your spouse is going to contest the divorce, is not a simple matter. The proof is difficult. You are not permitted to testify against your spouse and you must have a witness ready to convince the court that your spouse did engage in sexual relations with another person. Adultery is usually proven by circumstantial evidence. That is, by showing that your spouse had the opportunity, inclination and intent to engage in sexual relations with another person. It is frequently neccessary to retain the services of a Private Investigator to obtain the specific circumstantial evidence needed for trial. Since this can often be a difficult ground upon which to obtain a divorce, it is important that you discuss this issue with your matrimonial attorney carefully.



LIVING APART FOR ONE YEAR



Living apart for one year pursuant to a separation agreement or a decree of separation is another ground for divorce in the State of New York. A separation agreement is a detailed written contract, usually prepared by an attorney where the parties agree to live separate and apart for the rest of their lives. It sets forth the respective rights and duties of the husband and wife with respect to the custody of children, visitation rights, support payments, distribution of property, and all other matters pertaining to the marital relationship. The same attorney is prohibited from representing both spouses, no matter how friendly the matter may appear on the surface. After a couple have signed a written separation agreement and have physically separated, either party may seek a divorce after one year of living apart pursuant to the written separation agreement provided that the person seeking the divorce has complied with all of the promises that he or she made in the separation agreement. You should bring a copy of the separation agreement with you when you meet with your matrimonial attorney for the first time in connection with obtaining a divorce.
 

tuffbrk

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? NY. What are acceptable reasons for sep/di in NY, can not having intimate and emotional connection (irrefutable diff?)be one of them, married 3 years? how long is this process? He's the only bread winner. I go to college PT. We still live together. He's never home 6AM-10Pm works. We have a child together, and another that's only mine. I'm stay at home mom. All finan. accounts have his name only including home, which was bought after marriage. What r the odds that I stay in the house and that he pays for it? And finally, what are the odds that after I finish college (2 years), and graduate I can go and take my kids and live abroad instead of staying in the states? Is any of this possible? THX so much for ur help in advance....
You sit your butt at home and go to school part time and then whine that the man works all of the time?! You're looking for an emotional and intimate connection with a man working 16 hr days? You should have a hot meal, a glass of wine and a back rub waiting when the man walks in the door!

Is Daddy #1 paying child support?

You need to start figuring out how you plan to pay your tuition/student loans and rent.
 

CLBKLCDTB

Member
What is the name of your state? NY. What are acceptable reasons for sep/di in NY, can not having intimate and emotional connection (irrefutable diff?)be one of them, married 3 years? how long is this process? He's the only bread winner. I go to college PT. We still live together. He's never home 6AM-10Pm works. We have a child together, and another that's only mine. I'm stay at home mom. All finan. accounts have his name only including home, which was bought after marriage. What r the odds that I stay in the house and that he pays for it? And finally, what are the odds that after I finish college (2 years), and graduate I can go and take my kids and live abroad instead of staying in the states? Is any of this possible? THX so much for ur help in advance....

Bali is going to love this one! :D

Unbelievable! :rolleyes:
 

CLBKLCDTB

Member
GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE IN NEW YORK
CRUEL AND INHUMAN TREATMENT

Cruel and inhuman treatment can generally involve either physical or mental cruelty. To be a reason for divorce, the treatment must have such a serious effect upon the physical or mental health of the person seeking the divorce that it is not safe or proper for the parties to continue the marriage. Mere incompatibility between husband and wife is not a ground for divorce in the State of New York. Some examples of acts that courts have held to constitute cruel and inhuman treatment for divorce purposes include physical attacks upon a spouse, constant screaming and profanity or other verbal abuse, gambling away the household funds, staying away from the house to often without an explanation, going out with another man or woman, and wrongfully accusing the other spouse of adulteress relations with another man or woman. Alcoholism by itself is usually not a sufficient basis for divorce unless your spouse becomes cruel or violent when intoxicated so that you fear for your health and safety. Each case stands on its own facts. It is very important that you give a detailed factual history to your divorce attorney so that he or she can judge whether or not you will have sufficient grounds for cruel and inhuman treatment.


ABANDONMENT

Abandonment means that your spouse has intentionally left you without your consent and of his own or her own accord. That is, you did not force or lock your spouse out of the house. It must also be without justification. You must also prove that your spouse had no good reason for leaving you, such as your ill treatment or your consent and also that your spouse left with the intention of never returning and that your spouse did not offer in good faith to return. Unjustified refusal by a spouse to have sexual relations for a full year is also considered a constructive abandonment and may also be considered cruel and inhuman treatment.



IMPRISONMENT FOR THREE CONSECUTIVE YEARS


Divorce on the grounds of imprisonment for three or more years means that the defendant spouse actually must have served three or more years in prison before an action can be brought for divorce on this ground. This applies even if the conviction is later overturned or reversed on appeal. The physical incarceration must last for a minimum of three consecutive years. Anything less will be insufficient.



ADULTERY

Bringing an action upon the grounds of adultery, especially if your spouse is going to contest the divorce, is not a simple matter. The proof is difficult. You are not permitted to testify against your spouse and you must have a witness ready to convince the court that your spouse did engage in sexual relations with another person. Adultery is usually proven by circumstantial evidence. That is, by showing that your spouse had the opportunity, inclination and intent to engage in sexual relations with another person. It is frequently neccessary to retain the services of a Private Investigator to obtain the specific circumstantial evidence needed for trial. Since this can often be a difficult ground upon which to obtain a divorce, it is important that you discuss this issue with your matrimonial attorney carefully.



LIVING APART FOR ONE YEAR



Living apart for one year pursuant to a separation agreement or a decree of separation is another ground for divorce in the State of New York. A separation agreement is a detailed written contract, usually prepared by an attorney where the parties agree to live separate and apart for the rest of their lives. It sets forth the respective rights and duties of the husband and wife with respect to the custody of children, visitation rights, support payments, distribution of property, and all other matters pertaining to the marital relationship. The same attorney is prohibited from representing both spouses, no matter how friendly the matter may appear on the surface. After a couple have signed a written separation agreement and have physically separated, either party may seek a divorce after one year of living apart pursuant to the written separation agreement provided that the person seeking the divorce has complied with all of the promises that he or she made in the separation agreement. You should bring a copy of the separation agreement with you when you meet with your matrimonial attorney for the first time in connection with obtaining a divorce.
should have read ahead
 

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