My fiancee cant get rid of this guy, and he ows her BIG!!

Maryland, Howard County

My fiancée was married to this real winner a few years ago, she had one kid with him and now he is 4 years old.

Her ex husband (whom she filed for separation a while back) is not signing any papers to finalize their divorce (he is refusing to), he has stopped paying child support, is harassing my fiancée and the child and is threatening to move to Canada. This guy works under the table with only equivocal proof of income. And he has had a few DUIs in recent time.

So far this guy has costed my fiancée over $10,000 in child support losses and all of the legal fees she has paid to get a divorce

We want to get married soon but cannot. And she wants her child support money that he owes her.

Please help us nail this guy, I feel no remorse for his situation. I would like to make an example out of him and hit him as hard as I legally can.

Thanks for any advice or courses of action

Has your fiancee (which is improper since she is still married and therefore is committing adultery with you) actually filed for divorced. Her husband doens't have to sign anything.

Ohiogal said:

Her husband doens't have to sign anything.

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But they want to get MERRIER!!!!!!

perroloco2 said:

But they want to get MERRIER!!!!!!

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Lol, sry for the typo!

I fixed it

Ohiogal said:

Has your fiancee (which is improper since she is still married and therefore is committing adultery with you) actually filed for divorced. Her husband doens't have to sign anything.

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To answer your question: yes, she filed for divorce about 1.5 years ago. And she has been legally separated for over 3 years now...
He disappeared a year ago and the police couldn’t find him. But just two months ago he was served by the county sheriff and he still hasn’t turned in the papers yet. So there is no court date set. And we think he’s going to either run off to Florida or Canada or some other arbatrary location.

Why do you say he doesn’t have to sign anything? Does this classify as a textbook case of "actual abandonment"?

We are also trying to challenge him to his parental rights of their four year old son, as we’re hoping I can adopt him when we get married.

Grant o said:

To answer your question, yes she has. And that was over a year ago. Plus she has been legally separated for over 3 years now...
He disappeared a year ago and the police couldn’t find him. But just a month ago he was served by the county sheriff and he hasn’t turned in the papers yet. So there is no court date. And we think he’s going to either Florida or Canada???

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Does she have an attorney? Getting a divorce is one thing, collecting on child support is another. As long as he has been served (and even if he hasn't, there are options for service by publication) she should be able to get divorced. His signature is NOT required. However it would probably be in her best interest to have an attorney, particularly if she wants it DONE.

The reality of things however, is that if someone is darned determined NOT to pay child support, it can be difficult, if not impossible, to collect from them. Of course they will trash their own financial lives, and credit histories, and will end up with no social security credits and end up being extremely poor old people, but that doesn't change the fact that collecting from them may not be realistically possible. People have honestly been known to completely trash their own lives in that all important quest to avoid child support.

So, don't throw good money after bad in trying to punish him for not paying support. She should let the state go after him (and be a squeekly wheel) but her priority should be to get divorced and move on.

Grant o said:

To answer your question: yes, she filed for divorce about 1.5 years ago. And she has been legally separated for over 3 years now...
He disappeared a year ago and the police couldn’t find him. But just two months ago he was served by the county sheriff and he still hasn’t turned in the papers yet. So there is no court date set. And we think he’s going to either run off to Florida or Canada or some other arbatrary location.

Why do you say he doesn’t have to sign anything? Does this classify as a textbook case of "actual abandonment"?

We are also trying to challenge him to his parental rights of their four year old son, as we’re hoping I can adopt him when we get married.

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It doesn't matter about abandonment. She has a LEGAL separation with paperwork filed in the county courts? That should have taken care of all property, custody and child support. So what is there left for them to discuss?
She needs to push for a final hearing. If he is served that is all it needs. He had 28 days to RESPOND to the complaint for divorce. Which 1.5 years ago... she most likely was dismissed for lack of prosecution if nothing else happened.

LdiJ said:

Does she have an attorney? Getting a divorce is one thing, collecting on child support is another. As long as he has been served (and even if he hasn't, there are options for service by publication) she should be able to get divorced. His signature is NOT required. However it would probably be in her best interest to have an attorney, particularly if she wants it DONE.

The reality of things however, is that if someone is darned determined NOT to pay child support, it can be difficult, if not impossible, to collect from them. Of course they will trash their own financial lives, and credit histories, and will end up with no social security credits and end up being extremely poor old people, but that doesn't change the fact that collecting from them may not be realistically possible. People have honestly been known to completely trash their own lives in that all important quest to avoid child support.

So, don't throw good money after bad in trying to punish him for not paying support. She should let the state go after him (and be a squeekly wheel) but her priority should be to get divorced and move on.

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I can totally attest to this. My ex gave up 9 yrs of paying into SS which is going to bite him in the @ss when he goes to draw SS benefits in a few years. DO NOT waste your money on getting CS, just follow up w/court orders issued by the state. It may pay off. I finally received the last of my CS arrears when my son was 26. Regardless, I'm just so glad I did not waste a cent on getting ex to pay CS, used all my resources on raising my son!! Only way to go, unless you know positively that they are hiding major assets.

Grant o said:

Please help us nail this guy, I feel no remorse for his situation. I would like to make an example out of him and hit him as hard as I legally can.

Thanks for any advice or courses of action

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My own advice would be for you to stay out of it. The matter involves your future wife and her stbx. Be supportive and offer her whatever encouragement and/or support you can, but YOU have no standing to hit him legally - nor to make an example of out him.

Grant o said:

Maryland, Howard County

My fiancée was married to this real winner a few years ago, she had one kid with him and now he is 4 years old.

Her ex husband (whom she filed for separation a while back) is not signing any papers to finalize their divorce (he is refusing to), he has stopped paying child support, is harassing my fiancée and the child and is threatening to move to Canada. This guy works under the table with only equivocal proof of income. And he has had a few DUIs in recent time.

So far this guy has costed my fiancée over $10,000 in child support losses and all of the legal fees she has paid to get a divorce

We want to get married soon but cannot. And she wants her child support money that he owes her.

Please help us nail this guy, I feel no remorse for his situation. I would like to make an example out of him and hit him as hard as I legally can.

Thanks for any advice or courses of action

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start by quit getting involved with women that are still married, or her not-ex-husband might nail you legally and hard.

VeronicaLodge said:

start by quit getting involved with women that are still married, or her not-ex-husband might nail you legally and hard.

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sorry to jump in, someone can take action on someone who is dating someone still married, or living with them?