Enforcing Divorce Decree. Part two

What is the name of your state? FL

tuffbrk said:

Unless the divorce was granted based upon adultery, it will not affect alimony pre-, during or after (after?! what??! LOL) divorce. If not proven it is merely hearsay.

Unless your divorce decree specifically states that alimony is modifiable, all of this is moot.

Unless the divorce decree specifically outlines a dollar amount due, versus 50/50 net proceeds of sale of the home to each party, the drop in equity is just life.

You're divorced for all of 8 months yet you reference you have been pressuring him to sell/list for 2.5 yrs. You should have brought a listing agreement with you to court so the judge would have him sign. Not sure what you thought would change after divorcing.

You state the calculation was completed over a year ago - yet you're not divorced a year. I don't think the change in the housing market will necessarily result in a new formula.

You mentioned your ex has made some less than timely payments - may be an indicator that his debts have increased thus ...he may now have less disposable income. And if there were issues with timely payments, his new wife may have chosen to keep her funds separate and only deposit something minimal to a joint account for household expenses.

You haven't provided any of the verbiage on your divorce decree whatsoever - therefore, we are all really just wasting our time.

BTW - found it interesting how much your writing has changed from your first post to those after having read Ld's !! Have a happy day...and bless your heart.

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OK! Now we are getting somewhere. As this is a legal forum I really don't think you want to hear the sordid details so I will keep that out. I will however have to explain why certain things happened.

Here is a complete listing of the agreement. Now, this agreement was signed at our second mediation. We had been there 3 hours going over the same things....his attorney would jump up walk out of the room and pitch a fit, me, my xh and the mediator would sit there staring at each other wondering what the hell was going on. Finally, the mediator pulled us aside, away from both attorneys and said, you both are wonderful people, this is what is going to happen. She then broke down the financial statements, the formulas, the amount I needed to be able to buy toilet paper. I was even surprised at the amount. But I hired an attorney to represent me and keep my best interest at hand. We then went back to our attorneys, discussed it and EVERYONE AGREED. So a quick, yet precise draft was typed up and signed. Before the final divorce hearing, my attorney sent a more detailed agreement, my xhusband refused to sign. His attorney then drafted one that was so out of the limits of the original my xhusband TOLD me not to sign it. All this happened in the Judges chambers. Believe it or not. On our 3rd trip to the final hearing both our attorneys showed up. Only one was needed. His left. We all agreed to end the divorce on the agreement that was typed up and signed at our final mediation. The Judge looked it over, said everything was fine, said congratulations your divorced. Now this Judge is from what I understand, highly feared? Respected? and doesn't accept anything but fair! She has several books out. Her name.....can I mention it? So here is the wording on the Final Divorce Agreement.....in the next post as this one is long enough!

Permanent alimony to wife ofXXXXX per month/commence 1st full month after closing on mariatal home. Deductible for Husband/taxable to wife.

When husband retires from emplyment at XXX of years of age, wifes alimony will be reduced dollar for dollar for money she receives from husbands retirement. (defined benefit plan)

Wife shall receive 1/2 of marital portion of Husbands retirement plan. (Marital portion is from date of marriage to date of filing)

Husband is solely responsible for all maritable debt/marital debt is husbands credit cards, debts in his name and $XXX of wifes crdit card debt. The $XXX debt shall be paid out of his proceeds of the sle of the home.

Husband shall pay off wifes car making monthly payments.

Husband shall pay for wifes Cobra health insurance for the next 3 years.

Pay attention to this part, my attorney brought this up when I met with him on Tuesday

Parties have agreed to sell marital home/parites initial listing price shall be $$XXXXX/there will be a seperate agreement of the parties to effectuate the sale of the home/seperate agreement will be given the same force as the MSA except not filed with the Court.

Husband will pay all household expenses currently being paid by him until sale of the home.

The parites agree they intend to sign a more fomal agreement: hoever, this shall serve as the agreement should a more formal agreement not be executed.


So. With this agreement being the only agreement he signed. (He refused to sign the agreement listing the house at a starting price, slowly spiraling down until it sold) then this is the standing agreement.

Now....since the market dropped and he failed to sign anything else or attempted to sale the marital home then the original price stands. This is the price that was used in formulating the alimony.

This was mediated over a year ago. This was signed over a year ago.

Nothing was brought before the Judge concerning the sale of the home because his attorney kept making a huge spectacle all the time.

If my wording has changed from my original post it is because I'm trying to be more specific and clarify and not have the confusion when you read it.

Why did you start a new post?

Oh and by the way reread what you posted. There is no date listed as to WHEN the house needs to be listed. NOR is there anything regarding what the minimum sales price accepted is.

I started a new post as when I responded on the other one it said it was locked. It shows a lock next to it. Maybe because I mentioned the name of the presiding Judge?

Your right, there IS NO date as when it was to be listed. There is no set amount for what it should be sold for.

There is only one amount. It is the amount that was appraised for at the time of mediation. This amount was used to base alimony. (nobody thought he would not sign nor participate in selling the home)

There was an addendum drawn up specifically concerning the sale of the home. He refused to sign it.

In the addendum it specified everything, from dates, to monetary amounts and decreasing the amounts as time passed.

So according to what is actually specified and signed, it is the original agreement stating the initial selling price of the house . Nothing more.

So all I have right now is a Divorce Agreement which only states the house shall be listed for $$XXX amount.

I understand how confusing this is......it confuses me constantly.

I'm just trying to de-confuse

Thank you Ohiogal!! I do appreciate you advice.

FLexWife said:

I started a new post as when I responded on the other one it said it was locked. It shows a lock next to it. Maybe because I mentioned the name of the presiding Judge?

Your right, there IS NO date as when it was to be listed. There is no set amount for what it should be sold for.

There is only one amount. It is the amount that was appraised for at the time of mediation. This amount was used to base alimony. (nobody thought he would not sign nor participate in selling the home)

There was an addendum drawn up specifically concerning the sale of the home. He refused to sign it.

In the addendum it specified everything, from dates, to monetary amounts and decreasing the amounts as time passed.

So according to what is actually specified and signed, it is the original agreement stating the initial selling price of the house . Nothing more.

So all I have right now is a Divorce Agreement which only states the house shall be listed for $$XXX amount.

I understand how confusing this is......it confuses me constantly.

I'm just trying to de-confuse

Thank you Ohiogal!! I do appreciate you advice.

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I honestly wish that I could give you advice based on a "gut" feeling of why your ex is doing what he is doing, but it honestly makes absolutely no sense to me.

What he is ordered to pay now is higher than the alimony that he would have to pay you after the house is sold, so it makes little sense that he would stall on the sale of the home.

Except in one respect...it looks like a significant portion of the marital debt that was assigned to him was supposed to be covered by his share of the sale of the house, so if the equity has dropped dramatically it might make some sense for him to want to delay the sale, but he was also delaying it before the market tanked, so that reasoning is less logical than it could be.

You honestly need to be consulting with your attorney.

I honestly wish that I could give you advice based on a "gut" feeling of why your ex is doing what he is doing, but it honestly makes absolutely no sense to me.

What he is ordered to pay now is higher than the alimony that he would have to pay you after the house is sold, so it makes little sense that he would stall on the sale of the home.

Except in one respect...it looks like a significant portion of the marital debt that was assigned to him was supposed to be covered by his share of the sale of the house, so if the equity has dropped dramatically it might make some sense for him to want to delay the sale, but he was also delaying it before the market tanked, so that reasoning is less logical than it could be.

You honestly need to be consulting with your attorney.

Makes zero sense to me either. The mediator mentioned Mid Life Crisis. Said he had seen more men divorcing, giving up their entire life, plunging themselves deep into financial debt and burying their head in the sand. They are unable to make a coherent decision on anything.

My attorney said since this is the only agreement he signed, then this is the binding one. Even tho the market "tanked" this is it. Said my xh now has a few choices he must make. Either list the house for that price Sell the house for market value and increase my portion of the equity to now balance to formula back out, or continue paying until the market increases. He also said that if the xh continues to let the outside area of the house decline and does not realize that "Curb Appeal" has something to do with selling a house it will look like he's intentionally decreasing the value of the home. He also mentioned that if the x was so inclined to change the agreement then back to court we would go, thus bringing out financial statements again and back to square one.

You may wonder why I hung around for so long without moving on. Well, I never wanted the divorce, he changed basically overnight. We had just returned from our vacation (which I thought was wonderful and the pictures showed 2 happy people) when he dropped the bomb of I love you, but I am not in love with you anymore. His best friend and him secretly moved him out 2 days later while I was at work. Up until a week ago, he was giving me hope that he was coming home. He was talking/interacting enough with me to keep me from questoning his motives or actions. I guess you could call it having your cake and eating it to.

Whoops. I ventured off legal topics and into the personal areas. Sorry.

So this is where I am at right now.

My attorney (of course) wants what is financially/emotionally best for me. He says to stick to the Settlement Agreement. It can be enforced. He can be held in contempt. He will be made to pay the legal bills since he is the one in contempt.

I keep giving him one more chance.

I'm tired of fighting.

After 2.5 years of him dropping in and out I want to move on.



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