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Normal Divorce Procedures

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Nirelan

Member
What is the name of your state? IL

My wife and I are separated, but had established a visitation schedule. Last Friday, she did not return our daughter and stated that her attorney was filing for divorce and wanted to wait until she had the child to insure that I would not withhold our daughter from her mother.

However, neither she nor her lawyer have filed anything. When asked about the situation, she said her mother called the lawyer's office and the secretary said it had been filed.

Do lawyers normally advise clients to refuse to let the other parent visit the child?

I doubt that there is any possibility her lawyer could forget to file the paperwork for a week, but want to be sure. Could that really happen?

I have an appointment with a lawyer on Thursday. Is there a possibility that our attorneys can work together to enforce the agreement we already have during the trial or will I have to file for temporary visitation?
 
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mistoffolees

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? IL

My wife and I are separated, but had established a visitation schedule. Last Friday, she did not return our daughter and stated that her attorney was filing for divorce and wanted to wait until she had the child to insure that I would not withhold our daughter from her mother.

However, neither she nor her lawyer have filed anything. When asked about the situation, she said her mother called the lawyer's office and the secretary said it had been filed.

Do lawyers normally advise clients to refuse to let the other parent visit the child?

I doubt that there is any possibility her lawyer could forget to file the paperwork for a week, but want to be sure. Could that really happen?

I have an appointment with a lawyer on Thursday. Is there a possibility that our attorneys can work together to enforce the agreement we already have during the trial or will I have to file for temporary visitation?
The way it was explained to me was that any agreement you and your stbx worked out is irrelevant and unenforceable. You MIGHT be able to use it to show that she's making efforts to keep you from your children (which is something the courts frown upon), but you won't be able to enforce it in advance.

Work with your attorney to get something filed right away. I don't know your circumstances and I'm not an attorney, but in my case, we did not file for visitation - we filed for temporary joint custody. There's a huge difference. Once you establish a precedent (every other weekend, for example), it's harder to get more. If you start with 50:50, you have a better chance of keeping it that way, assuming that you're close enough for it to work.
 

Nirelan

Member
The way it was explained to me was that any agreement you and your stbx worked out is irrelevant and unenforceable. QUOTE]

Thanks for all of the advice. I know it is unenforceable, without a court order. If we both sign a motion that asks the court to enforce our schedule is their a possibility the judge would approve it or will we still be forced to go to court.

I do not want to keep going to court. I would like this to be as simple as possible.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
The way it was explained to me was that any agreement you and your stbx worked out is irrelevant and unenforceable. QUOTE]

Thanks for all of the advice. I know it is unenforceable, without a court order. If we both sign a motion that asks the court to enforce our schedule is their a possibility the judge would approve it or will we still be forced to go to court.

I do not want to keep going to court. I would like this to be as simple as possible.
In general, judges like for you to reach an agreement on things. If it's not too one sided and you both agree, then it's quite possible to have the judge sign off on your agreement - which would make it enforceable.

However, trying to get the judge to approve one thing at a time is likely to be a bad strategy. They're going to prefer for you to come to them with everything decided so they can sign off. Coming to them one month to sign off on custody and then later for visitation and later for asset division, then child support, then alimony, etc, etc, etc, will only irritate them.
 

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