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17-year old doesn't want to move
- Thread starter TTipler
- Start date
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VeronicaLodge
Senior Member
where is she gonna live and how is she going to feed herself after you all vacate your current premises?
CourtClerk
Senior Member
Then why don't you exercise that authority????? This almost sounds more like a parenting issue than a legal one, however, your legal question has already been answered.
cbg
I'm a Northern Girl
You have a choice. Either is legal.
You may give your daughter permission to live with her friends.
Or, you may tell her to start packing because she is going with you if you have to sedate her and throw her limp body into the car.
Yes, if you do not give her permission to live with her friends and she does anyway, they can get into trouble with the law.
You may give your daughter permission to live with her friends.
Or, you may tell her to start packing because she is going with you if you have to sedate her and throw her limp body into the car.
Yes, if you do not give her permission to live with her friends and she does anyway, they can get into trouble with the law.
I agree that in the perfect world a 17 year old should obey the parents.
But if they dont want it.
How do you force a 17 year old to do what you want?
It is not like you can pick them up and throw them in the car.
You can be a great parent but that doesn't mean that the kid is going to do what you want.
And force.....
I dont know if I agree on that.
The result can sadly be, like in the case with one of my sons when he was 17, that the kid , now an adult, still holds that against his dad.
They dont see each other at all.
But if they dont want it.
How do you force a 17 year old to do what you want?
It is not like you can pick them up and throw them in the car.
You can be a great parent but that doesn't mean that the kid is going to do what you want.
And force.....
I dont know if I agree on that.
The result can sadly be, like in the case with one of my sons when he was 17, that the kid , now an adult, still holds that against his dad.
They dont see each other at all.
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cbg
I'm a Northern Girl
The fact of the matter is that a 17 year old is not an adult and does not get to choose where she lives. The parent does not have to be blackmailed into letting her stay where she wants. If the parent says, you're moving to PA, then the kid moves to PA.
My kids are in their 20's and neither of them would have dreamt of disobeying their dad on an issue like this. I'm not saying they would have been happy but they both have enough respect for their parents to do what they are told. If the poster's kid does not, then that's the poster's fault for not instilling that respect as a parent. It does not change the fact that legally, the kid does not have a leg to stand on and the law will completely support the parent. The kid can whine, scream, have a tantrum, refuse to go, run away, or whatever she wants to do, but ultimately, the law is going to back up the dad and ship her right back to where she's supposed to be.
When she's 18, if she wants to return to VA, that's up to her. Until then, she lives where her dad says she lives. Period.
My kids are in their 20's and neither of them would have dreamt of disobeying their dad on an issue like this. I'm not saying they would have been happy but they both have enough respect for their parents to do what they are told. If the poster's kid does not, then that's the poster's fault for not instilling that respect as a parent. It does not change the fact that legally, the kid does not have a leg to stand on and the law will completely support the parent. The kid can whine, scream, have a tantrum, refuse to go, run away, or whatever she wants to do, but ultimately, the law is going to back up the dad and ship her right back to where she's supposed to be.
When she's 18, if she wants to return to VA, that's up to her. Until then, she lives where her dad says she lives. Period.
I understand what you are saying.
The child should obey the parents.
I am more questioning if the kid really puts up with a big fight.
Then the outcome will (legally) be there til she turns 18.
But after that she can just say bye and see ya.
What good has it then been if they never want to see the forcing parents again.
Is it not something wrong if the outcome is that?!
The adults are suppoosed to do the best for the child.
But if the child hates you for it....
My children are 30 -18 years old.
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I am not saying that.
I am just saying that parents have to listen to the child.
I am talking from own experience.
Both as a child and a parent.
One of my sons didnt want to obey his dad. not custody.
It ended up that he obeyed but left home really fast and to this day they dont talk or see each other.
Just want to add that I believe in communication not force.
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cbg
I'm a Northern Girl
Look, tanja.
I've already told the poster that if he wants to allow the kid to stay in VA, he can legally do so.
However, the fact remains that if he chooses to require her to come with him, the law is on his side.
He did not come here asking for parenting advice. He came here looking for legal advice, and that's what I gave him.
Communication is fine. I'm all in favor of communication. Of course he should listen to the child, ideally. But in the end, the adult, not the child, makes the decisions, and if, after listening to her, he still decides that it is in everyone's best interest for her to go to PA, he has the legal right to require, or even force, her to go.
Whether you like it or not, the law is on his side. All your whimpering that your son doesn't talk to his father any more because his father exercised his right to parent his child instead of coddling him does not change that.
I've already told the poster that if he wants to allow the kid to stay in VA, he can legally do so.
However, the fact remains that if he chooses to require her to come with him, the law is on his side.
He did not come here asking for parenting advice. He came here looking for legal advice, and that's what I gave him.
Communication is fine. I'm all in favor of communication. Of course he should listen to the child, ideally. But in the end, the adult, not the child, makes the decisions, and if, after listening to her, he still decides that it is in everyone's best interest for her to go to PA, he has the legal right to require, or even force, her to go.
Whether you like it or not, the law is on his side. All your whimpering that your son doesn't talk to his father any more because his father exercised his right to parent his child instead of coddling him does not change that.
I do not whimper.In my case it is just sad. about one of my 6 kids and his father.
All other kids and grownups and grandkids get along just fine.
But this 22 year old son still dont want to see his dad just because they could never communictae.
The result was that the son moved out from dad and in with me.
We had joint custody and we never had one single problem communicating with each other.
I only want parents to be able to comunicate in the intrest of their child(children).
It is so important.
I think just because 2 adults drift apart they shouldn t stop acting like adults.
Way to many parents dont have that gift of communication anymore.
And I do agree with you that the adult makes the desicion.
But that after listening and hearing what the child and other parent has to say.
It is difficult enough to have parents that divorce . At least the child should feel that they have adult parents that communicate.
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I do not have a legal advice.
I am just saying that people have to communicate.
And I do not have a sad story my kid has one.
And sometimed people have to be reminded that there are 2 parents and that they need to talk.
So I dont see that there is any reason for you to be rude.
Dont you know that other peoples experince might also help ?!
Have a great weekend.
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