Amber

Deserve Alimony?

What is the name of your state? Ga

I have been married for 21 years. My husband left home after he got caught cheating again. He moved into another house and now his girlfriend and her two children are living with him. She is not working and he is paying all of her bills. We own a business together and have two teenage children. We have been in business for 18 years. He wants to buy me out of the business and for me to go get a job somewhere. I have been out of the job market for 18 years. I would never be able to make even close to half of what we made in the business. Should I accept this or would I be able to receive a portion of the business income or alimony?
By the way I am 45 it's kinda late for me to have to start from scratch.

amberc81 said:

What is the name of your state? Ga

I have been married for 21 years. My husband left home after he got caught cheating again. He moved into another house and now his girlfriend and her two children are living with him. She is not working and he is paying all of her bills. We own a business together and have two teenage children. We have been in business for 18 years. He wants to buy me out of the business and for me to go get a job somewhere. I have been out of the job market for 18 years. I would never be able to make even close to half of what we made in the business. Should I accept this or would I be able to receive a portion of the business income or alimony?
By the way I am 45 it's kinda late for me to have to start from scratch.

Click to expand...

Speaking from experience as someone older than you and divorced it's never to late to start over. However, that does not mean it is wise to give up something that you are entitled to.....do not do anything until you have an attorney who can advise you as to what is in your best interests. Perhaps you should buy HIM out and run the business on your own!

amberc81 said:

What is the name of your state? Ga

I have been married for 21 years. My husband left home after he got caught cheating again. He moved into another house and now his girlfriend and her two children are living with him. She is not working and he is paying all of her bills. We own a business together and have two teenage children. We have been in business for 18 years. He wants to buy me out of the business and for me to go get a job somewhere. I have been out of the job market for 18 years. I would never be able to make even close to half of what we made in the business. Should I accept this or would I be able to receive a portion of the business income or alimony?
By the way I am 45 it's kinda late for me to have to start from scratch.

Click to expand...

I agree with Penelope. I'm considerably older than you an am changing careers. I'm also considering buying my own business.

Make sure you get a good attorney. You're going to be entitled to quite a bit - something like half of the business and half of the personal property (including retirement) as well as likely getting spousal support (alimony) and child support. I certainly don't know what his offer is, but it would be unusual if it's not much lower than you're going to end up with.

At your age, you have plenty of time to go back to school and start a new career doing something you've always wanted to do.

Again, get a good attorney and work with them.

amberc81 said:

What is the name of your state? Ga

I have been married for 21 years. My husband left home after he got caught cheating again. He moved into another house and now his girlfriend and her two children are living with him. She is not working and he is paying all of her bills. We own a business together and have two teenage children. We have been in business for 18 years. He wants to buy me out of the business and for me to go get a job somewhere. I have been out of the job market for 18 years. I would never be able to make even close to half of what we made in the business. Should I accept this or would I be able to receive a portion of the business income or alimony?
By the way I am 45 it's kinda late for me to have to start from scratch.

Click to expand...

If you could stand to continue to work with him, you could continue on in the business. Otherwise it might be possible for you to continue have ownership and to receive a share of the profits. Its cleaner however, if he buys you out.

LdiJ said:

If you could stand to continue to work with him, you could continue on in the business. Otherwise it might be possible for you to continue have ownership and to receive a share of the profits. Its cleaner however, if he buys you out.

Click to expand...

What's good for the goose is also good for the gander. She could buy HIM out!!!

Bali Hai said:

What's good for the goose is also good for the gander. She could buy HIM out!!!

Click to expand...

Definitely true. As a woman, there is more loan money available to her than to him, assuming that she'd need to borrow the money to buy him out.

However, it's not clear that she has an active role in the business. She states that they run the business together, but later states that she has been out of the job market for 18 years. If I were actively involved in running a business, I certainly wouldn't say I hadn't worked for 18 years. My point is that she needs to be comfortable that she can run the business before buying him out.

mistoffolees said:

Definitely true. As a woman, there is more loan money available to her than to him, assuming that she'd need to borrow the money to buy him out.

However, it's not clear that she has an active role in the business. She states that they run the business together, but later states that she has been out of the job market for 18 years. If I were actively involved in running a business, I certainly wouldn't say I hadn't worked for 18 years. My point is that she needs to be comfortable that she can run the business before buying him out.

Click to expand...

Let me clarify OP's statement for you: This is a ploy OP is using to get the judge to award her alimony.

Bali Hai said:

Let me clarify OP's statement for you: This is a ploy OP is using to get the judge to award her alimony.

Click to expand...

There is, of course, nothing in her post which would lead to that conclusion. In fact, the OP was asking if she should accept his offer to buy her out or alimony. Nothing about a judge and nothing shady in her inquiry. It was a simple request - should I do 'a' or 'b'.

mistoffolees said:

There is, of course, nothing in her post which would lead to that conclusion. In fact, the OP was asking if she should accept his offer to buy her out or alimony. Nothing about a judge and nothing shady in her inquiry. It was a simple request - should I do 'a' or 'b'.

Click to expand...

'a'= receive her fair share of the business and go to work.
'b'= receive a buyout AND a portion of the business INCOME or ALIMONY.

Nothing shady in her inquiry and her inquiry is totally steered by her in the ALIMONY direction:

We have been in business for 18 years. He wants to buy me out of the business and for me to go get a job somewhere. I have been out of the job market for 18 years. I would never be able to make even close to half of what we made in the business. Should I accept this or would I be able to receive a portion of the business income or alimony?
By the way I am 45 it's kinda late for me to have to start from scratch.

She obviously doesn't WANT to work and WANTS a FREE RIDE!!

amberc81 said:

What is the name of your state? Ga

I have been married for 21 years. My husband left home after he got caught cheating again. He moved into another house and now his girlfriend and her two children are living with him. She is not working and he is paying all of her bills. We own a business together and have two teenage children. We have been in business for 18 years. He wants to buy me out of the business and for me to go get a job somewhere. I have been out of the job market for 18 years. I would never be able to make even close to half of what we made in the business. Should I accept this or would I be able to receive a portion of the business income or alimony?
By the way I am 45 it's kinda late for me to have to start from scratch.

Click to expand...

A. You won't have to "start from scratch". You are entitled to a share of all marital assets and debts. 45 is NOT too old to apply the business job skills you have already been using in your business to another provider in the market. You ahve NOT been "out of the workforce" if you've been WORKING in the business!

BTW- I changed the type of job I do this past summer, not due to divorce, but due to market forces, and I am 53. So, at your age you are NO WAY too old. My mom was 47 when she returned to the workforce after being a SAHP, due to illness by the other parent. She was not "too old" at 47, so you, especially as one who has been working, are most certainly not "too old".

Personally, I find the implication that a woman at 45 is "too old" to learn and apply new job skills as insulting to we women who are past 45. I not only learned a new job within my industry, but I am mom to a 10 year old, and do all the "mom to a middle schooler" stuff as well. Women past 45 are not at all two old to be consider their background and smarts to have value in the workplace.