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mynewlife

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Florida

I have been married for 9.5 years. It has been a rocky road due to the blended family situation. Things slowly got better for all the kids, but I lost my job, tried to start my own business, fed the business too much money, had to file for bankruptcy. My husband became more and more distant and blames me for everything. Then he lost his job and soon after, due to the emotional abuse his was inflicting upon my daughter, I made the decision to move out. According to him, I abandoned him. I made it perfectly clear from day one, that I was not separating to get a divorce. I wanted to work on things from a distance. Things were going ok the first 6 months. Then, right after we celebrated our anniversary, there was a drastic change. I just found out he has been involved with the drunk neighbor since then. He is still denying and so is she. She made up some outrageous lies. I have physical proof. He has threatened to take my son away from me, told me that I get none of the house because he owned it 3 years before we met. He has a file on me that supposedly documents all of our original problems and every move I have made in our marriage. I am absolutely devastated. Can't stop crying. I don't know what to do. I make 29000/yr. He makes 85000. I am struggling and am afraid I make to much for legal aid. I never wanted any of this. Please help me! I don't know where to turn.
 


mistoffolees

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Florida

I have been married for 9.5 years. It has been a rocky road due to the blended family situation. Things slowly got better for all the kids, but I lost my job, tried to start my own business, fed the business too much money, had to file for bankruptcy. My husband became more and more distant and blames me for everything. Then he lost his job and soon after, due to the emotional abuse his was inflicting upon my daughter, I made the decision to move out. According to him, I abandoned him. I made it perfectly clear from day one, that I was not separating to get a divorce. I wanted to work on things from a distance. Things were going ok the first 6 months. Then, right after we celebrated our anniversary, there was a drastic change. I just found out he has been involved with the drunk neighbor since then. He is still denying and so is she. She made up some outrageous lies. I have physical proof. He has threatened to take my son away from me, told me that I get none of the house because he owned it 3 years before we met. He has a file on me that supposedly documents all of our original problems and every move I have made in our marriage. I am absolutely devastated. Can't stop crying. I don't know what to do. I make 29000/yr. He makes 85000. I am struggling and am afraid I make to much for legal aid. I never wanted any of this. Please help me! I don't know where to turn.
Call legal aid, anyway. And if they can't help you, get an attorney.

I'm trying to read between the lines in your post because some things aren't clear, so if I have some facts wrong, I'm sorry.

1. The house. You're going to be entitled to half of the gain in equity during your marriage. Even with the recent drop in home values, I would imagine your home is worth substantially more than it was 9 year ago.

2. Documenting 'original problems and every move you've made'. I'm not sure what you're getting at here. It's going to depend on what you're talking about. However, since you mentioned your business mistakes, I can't see how that is relevant. People make mistakes and he's not going to be able to use financial mistakes to take your child away.

3. Where are the kids? If you left the house and left the kids with him, that may be a mistake - particularly since you're claiming that he's abusive to the daughter. You're going to want to stay as close to the kids as possible.

4. With a roughly 3-fold difference in your incomes, ask your attorney about alimony.

5. You're going to need to decide in your own mind what is important to you. If you want sole custody, you need to be able to PROVE that he's a danger to the kids -- and that's hard to do.

See an attorney ASAP and take whatever actions they recommend.
 

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
And when speaking with the attorney, see if he/she is willing to take the case and have your husband pay the expenses for said attorney. ;)
 

mynewlife

Junior Member
Daughter is mine from previous. Son is ours. His kids from previous never really wanted a relationship, but I became the scapegoat for that. His file supposedly consists of details of every argument we had about children. Last one was in 1999. Also contains poor business decisions on my part. Added 400 sq foot addition to house 8 years ago. Value then 125000 value now 225000
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Daughter is mine from previous. Son is ours. His kids from previous never really wanted a relationship, but I became the scapegoat for that. His file supposedly consists of details of every argument we had about children. Last one was in 1999. Also contains poor business decisions on my part. Added 400 sq foot addition to house 8 years ago. Value then 125000 value now 225000
He's bluffing. If having arguments about kids was criminal, then every parent in the country would be in jail. Poor business decisions are also not something that is going to hurt you (unless you were such a complete wastrel that you would not be able to care for the kids).

I'd file for a restraining / protection order against him and divorce. Check with your attorney on custody, but you're probably going to want to file for sole custody of the son - even if it later gets reduced to joint custody (which is becoming more common).
 

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