How to divorce a man that refuses one

I live in the state of Texas.

My husband was a very successful business man (owned his own company) for 10 years. He got heavily involved in drugs which made a decline in the business & he was forced to sell it. To my knowledge he is off the drugs at this time but has not worked for 15 months. He has been paying our bills from money from the sale of the business but that is depleted now. I work but he has managed to ruin my business by mentally abusing me. We were on my companies cobra insurance plan until he refused to pay the high premium. This week I have found another job but it will take me some time to build up my business again. We have one six year old child & no insurance.

Throughout our marriage we had separate checking accounts. Since he was better at saving than myself, I paid the bills & he saved the money for us. I've never had access to any of his bank accounts. Therefore I never knew how much money we actually had.

My parents paid $21,000 last year for an attorney trying to get me a divorce. Due to my husbands threats, harassment, & my mental state of mind, he talked me into moving back in with him just to stop the madness. We are now both OUT of money except for his 401K plan. He is telling me he will use every penny of 401 K to fight me in court for our child. I have NO money now & can't go back to my parents for help. They are retired & it is not fair for me to spend their retirement money.

I am broke & desperate to get a divorce from this cruel man. I have documented his mental cruelty with my friends, family & previous attorney. I am afraid at this point he will get physical with me. A murderer can get a court appointment attorney. Can a desperate woman get one for a much needed divorce?

PLEASE HELP ME!

Q: Can a desperate woman get one for a much needed divorce?

A: Sure. Make him pay for it. Ask the court to include that in the judgment in the lawsuit.

My parents paid $21,000 last year for an attorney trying to get me a divorce. Due to my husbands threats, harassment, & my mental state of mind, he talked me into moving back in with him just to stop the madness.

Click to expand...

Say what? When you talk to the next attorney, I would look into a malpractice suit as well...

ifnotforgrace said:

Say what? When you talk to the next attorney, I would look into a malpractice suit as well...

Click to expand...

The pronouns are confusing...I read the OP as it being the HUSBAND who threatened and harassed her to the point where she allowed the HUSBAND to talk her in to moving back in.

SusanCrawford said:

I live in the state of Texas.

My husband was a very successful business man (owned his own company) for 10 years. He got heavily involved in drugs which made a decline in the business & he was forced to sell it. To my knowledge he is off the drugs at this time but has not worked for 15 months. He has been paying our bills from money from the sale of the business but that is depleted now. I work but he has managed to ruin my business by mentally abusing me. We were on my companies cobra insurance plan until he refused to pay the high premium. This week I have found another job but it will take me some time to build up my business again. We have one six year old child & no insurance.

Throughout our marriage we had separate checking accounts. Since he was better at saving than myself, I paid the bills & he saved the money for us. I've never had access to any of his bank accounts. Therefore I never knew how much money we actually had.

My parents paid $21,000 last year for an attorney trying to get me a divorce. Due to my husbands threats, harassment, & my mental state of mind, he talked me into moving back in with him just to stop the madness. We are now both OUT of money except for his 401K plan. He is telling me he will use every penny of 401 K to fight me in court for our child. I have NO money now & can't go back to my parents for help. They are retired & it is not fair for me to spend their retirement money.

I am broke & desperate to get a divorce from this cruel man. I have documented his mental cruelty with my friends, family & previous attorney. I am afraid at this point he will get physical with me. A murderer can get a court appointment attorney. Can a desperate woman get one for a much needed divorce?

PLEASE HELP ME!

Click to expand...

While I would not accuse someone of bluffing, it is very expensive to take money out of your 401K unless you're over 59.5 years old.

Call your local legal aid. If they can't help you, see if there's a law school around which might be able to help. If you ever feel that you or your child are in imminent danger, call 911. I don't know what else to advise.

1. He should not be able to touch the 401K without your signature by virtue of your marriage (at least that's how it works in Connecticut). My sister is in the same situation and that money is not touchable for a divorce. He's just intimidating you.
2. You need to escape. Trust me, I've been watching the same thing with my sister for a year now. Words to the wise: move out of the house when you know he isn't going to be around. Plan ahead so you get it done quickly before he returns. Take EVERYTHING that is yours even if you think he won't deny you something later because it's trivial. It's not, and he won't give it to you to spite you. (don't play games---be equitable and fair, it will play in your favor in court). If you leave without anything, it will be incredibly difficult to get back in. Despite court orders to enter, my sister has not seen the inside of her house in a year and knows her belongings are being given away to her husband's friends and family. Despite what you are advised elsewhere, there is NOTHING to stop this if your husband is uncooperative and plays the system.
3. If there really are no more assets and you've taken your share of household goods, just go to court and represent yourself. There's nothing to fight over except for the 401K. Ask for half of that. It's not complicated when you have nothing and there are no child custody issues. The court clerk will walk you through the proper forms and procedure.
4. I feel for you about the other attorney. My sister lost $25K with her first and there is little to be done. Malpractice, which someone suggested, is really not viable. It's expensive, hard to prove and, frankly, you would be trying to fight a lawyer with a system devised by lawyers for lawyers. Plus, it's almost impossible to find a lawyer who practices it. You may have some luck with your state bar ethics committee if you have grounds, but that process varies from state to state. Worth checking out though.

I wish you luck. Whatever you do, you should not live your life under threat. At the end of the day, your happiness and security is more important than money and belongings.