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Mediation

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search4advice

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Nevada

My husband is seeking mediation with his ex-wife concerning their daughter. We filed the motion for mediation and it was submitted to the judge in March. Well on April 18th we received a letter from his ex-wife's attorney saying that they consent to mediation except for one of the topics we had included in the paperwork for the mediation. Basically, when my step-daughter was born they were still married and ex-wife had my husbands last name. Things weren't going well for them so she gave their daughter her maiden last name without telling him. He found out when she sent him a copy of her birth certificate. Well when they divorced he asked the judge to change it to his last name to represent his paternity. Well the judge said he couldn't because he could not show that it was in the child's best interest. For mediation we had included that he wants their daughters last name to be hyphenated to include him name as well as her mothers maiden name. Then on April 19th we received paperwork that said being as we had filed the motion and the consent was sent from the other party that mediation was required.
My question is.. we still want to discuss the child's last name and the possibility of having it hyphenated but the judge has already signed off.. what can we do.. what paperwork do we file?? I know the logical thing is to get a lawyer, and I want to... but my husband is in the military and he doesn't make much money so we can't afford it.

please, any advice would help
 


mistoffolees

Senior Member
The judge has already told you that you haven't established sufficient grounds since you haven't shown that it's in the child's best interest. Can you establish that now? Remember that it's going to be harder every day that goes by - once the child is old enough to know her last name, she's going to have to deal with changing it (you didn't say how old she is). What benefit is there to the child?

Unless you have some pretty compelling reasons for the change, it's an uphill battle. You risk alienating a judge - which is never a good thing to do in divorce cases, especially if you don't have an attorney.

If you can't come up with some compelling reason why the daughter needs a hyphenated last name, you're probably better off to forget it.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Nevada

My husband is seeking mediation with his ex-wife concerning their daughter. We filed the motion for mediation and it was submitted to the judge in March. Well on April 18th we received a letter from his ex-wife's attorney saying that they consent to mediation except for one of the topics we had included in the paperwork for the mediation. Basically, when my step-daughter was born they were still married and ex-wife had my husbands last name. Things weren't going well for them so she gave their daughter her maiden last name without telling him. He found out when she sent him a copy of her birth certificate. Well when they divorced he asked the judge to change it to his last name to represent his paternity. Well the judge said he couldn't because he could not show that it was in the child's best interest. For mediation we had included that he wants their daughters last name to be hyphenated to include him name as well as her mothers maiden name. Then on April 19th we received paperwork that said being as we had filed the motion and the consent was sent from the other party that mediation was required.
My question is.. we still want to discuss the child's last name and the possibility of having it hyphenated but the judge has already signed off.. what can we do.. what paperwork do we file?? I know the logical thing is to get a lawyer, and I want to... but my husband is in the military and he doesn't make much money so we can't afford it.

please, any advice would help
The judge already told your husband no on the last name change. Therefore there is no reason for mom to agree to mediate on the issue. Unless there are new and compelling reasons this time, the judge isn't going to change his/her opinion.
 

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