my rights in staying in the family home

What is the name of your state? nh it is a very long story but i will try to make it short in march i dicovered hubby had a girlfriend i needed out so i thought so i gave him the option to purchase me a house. we put in a irrevocable trust for kids its only been 3 weeks and i couldnt stand living there i packed my clothes and came home. he isnt to happy ohwell . we never had any kind of legal seperartion can he force me out when he is the one who hurt meWhat is the name of your state?

crazylady1234 said:

What is the name of your state? nh it is a very long story but i will try to make it short in march i dicovered hubby had a girlfriend i needed out so i thought so i gave him the option to purchase me a house. we put in a irrevocable trust for kids its only been 3 weeks and i couldnt stand living there i packed my clothes and came home. he isnt to happy ohwell . we never had any kind of legal seperartion can he force me out when he is the one who hurt meWhat is the name of your state?

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It's your house, you're entitled to live there, too. However, your larger concern right now should be how you want custody to go. If you left the kids with him when you left, that weakens your case for custody. Alternatively, if you moved into the other house and took the kids with you (with his blessing), then it strengthens your case for custody.

Oh, and capitalization and punctuation are your friends. That's not just a petty comment - your post is almost unreadable and if you expect people to be able to help you, your communication MUST be clear.

Sorry about the first post i was so upset. no that isnt how it was, the children are full grown in college, he is very well off, he paid cash for it and so that neither of us would get the money should we get back toghether we set it up to go to the kids. it was suppose to be on a trial basis, i couldn't take being there i missed my home. i asked to come back he said no ,so i came back any way ,he is the one who should have left in the first place. now this morning i thought he was being sincere and asked to see the legal papers on the trust so i gave them to him, he ran to the safe ,which i dont know the combo to and put them in there. i had told him he could go live in that house now he wants to buy it from the trust for a dollar, i am the trustee,and i do have the last say but he has all the control over money and im at a loss for words as what to do next.

Get a lawyer. Stay in the house if you want, but get a lawyer now.

If you don't know anything about your money situation, then you need to protect yourself and your assets. Don't sign any papers that you husband asks you to sign. Get a lawyer NOW!

Is there a mortgage? Can you afford to refi him off the loan? What about marital responsibility for the home you demanded he buy you?

nextwife said:

Is there a mortgage? Can you afford to refi him off the loan? What about marital responsibility for the home you demanded he buy you?

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He paid cash for the second house. I assume there is no mortgage on the first as well.

no there is no mortgage on either, he feels i wanted the other one now suffer and stay there but i cant i want to be here, as i said he can if he wants but i want it to stay in the trust as we set it up, my major concern where he is so sneaky is can he get me out of this house using that against me if we didnt have anything in legal writing. i know i need a lawyer but with the assets he has he will get a top notch one before i can call one because i am one of those foolish woman who let her husband control it all my name isnt on the check book

crazylady1234 said:

no there is no mortgage on either, he feels i wanted the other one now suffer and stay there but i cant i want to be here, as i said he can if he wants but i want it to stay in the trust as we set it up, my major concern where he is so sneaky is can he get me out of this house using that against me if we didnt have anything in legal writing. i know i need a lawyer but with the assets he has he will get a top notch one before i can call one because i am one of those foolish woman who let her husband control it all my name isnt on the check book

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It doesn't matter whose name is on the checkbook. You'll be entitled to half of the marital assets and it sounds like those will be quite substantial.

I would ask around and find out who the best attorney is in town and ask for a meeting. If he really has that amount of assets, you may be able to work out a payment plan (the attorney will either get paid directly by your stbx or will collect their fee after the divorce is finalized. You MAY have to pay the initial consult fee, though (although the initial consult is free from many attorneys). The better the attorney, the more confident they will be about their ability to collect in a situation where the husband has huge assets. You will need to set up that meeting ASAP and discuss how to protect yourself.

crazylady1234 said:

no there is no mortgage on either, he feels i wanted the other one now suffer and stay there but i cant i want to be here, as i said he can if he wants but i want it to stay in the trust as we set it up, my major concern where he is so sneaky is can he get me out of this house using that against me if we didnt have anything in legal writing. i know i need a lawyer but with the assets he has he will get a top notch one before i can call one because i am one of those foolish woman who let her husband control it all my name isnt on the check book

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Ok...lets do a bit of a reality check here. Under normal circumstances a judge is going to expect each one of you to end up with a house, since there are two. However, you have complicated things by putting the second house in the irrevocable trust. A judge may very well consider that your life estate in the second home is your fair share of the two homes.

Its completely irrelevant that he put your copy of the trust agreement in the safe. You can easily get another copy from the attorney, and should do so ASAP. Does he think that the trust is going to magically disappear if he has your copy of the trust agreement?

Since you are the trustee he can't buy the house from the trust for 1 dollar without your agreement, but that might be the most logical way to resolve the issue, since the trust is irrevocable.

You are going to be entitled to 1/2 of any other marital assets that exist, and another solution to the trust issue could be for the value of that house to not be considered in your total marital assets, so that the trust for your children comes off the top, before the marital assets are divided, but that is still a very ticklish situation.

mistoffolees said:

It doesn't matter whose name is on the checkbook. You'll be entitled to half of the marital assets and it sounds like those will be quite substantial.

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The MARITAL assets may or may not be substantial. You are presuming his wealth is due to marital income.

If his wealth is from a non-co-mingled inheritance (family money), or non-comingled PREmarital funds, it may not be all that substantial, as to what is marital. Poster has only stated he has access to a lot of money.

nextwife said:

The MARITAL assets may or may not be substantial. You are presuming his wealth is due to marital income.

If his wealth is from a non-co-mingled inheritance (family money), or non-comingled PREmarital funds, it may not be all that substantial, as to what is marital. Poster has only stated he has access to a lot of money.

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She said that their children are full grown, so that makes it a bit unlikely that any assets are premarital, but it is quite possible that there are non-comingled inherited assets out there.

I thank You all for the advise, it is becoming very helpful. to clearify,yes the assets are substancial, yes they have all been attained during our marriage, he has kept most of it in his name thru out the years i dont see much but i hear alot. as to the second home it was purchased with money from the sale of a business so it was not any money he would miss seeing he didnt have it more than a week. but i guess what im still asking can a judge force me to live in that other house. do the courts still look at the behaviors he has shown as disrepectful to a wife of 25 yrs and show her any compasion and is there any way to sue the woman who will not back off to see if we can rebuild our relationship i truly believe if she wasnt there we could. the cost of the second home doesnt come even close to what we have here. not to mention all the safe deposit boxes that i have an idea of whats in them i dont want to be a baby here but i feel i want more if he cant at least meet me half way . im going to throw a number out there 10 mil net worth, does a house that cost 300 thousand sound fair .

ok i have another question that just hit me, we set this up so that the money would not go to either of us upon either the sale of the house or upon my death. so my question is if i sell it to him for a dollar that now makes the trust worth 1 dollar?

crazylady1234 said:

ok i have another question that just hit me, we set this up so that the money would not go to either of us upon either the sale of the house or upon my death. so my question is if i sell it to him for a dollar that now makes the trust worth 1 dollar?

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Yes, that would make the trust worth one dollar.

If there are assets near 10 million, then you honestly NEED an attorney, like yesterday. You should not be relying on advice from an internet message forum. You can get very good advice here, but you can also get very bad advice as well.

You are entitled to 50% of the marital assets, and responsible for 50% of the marital debt. Unless you are willing to settle for far less than you are entitled to receive, you can expect your divorce to be hostile.

You cannot sue the other woman.

Get yourself an attorney, NOW.

nextwife said:

The MARITAL assets may or may not be substantial. You are presuming his wealth is due to marital income.

If his wealth is from a non-co-mingled inheritance (family money), or non-comingled PREmarital funds, it may not be all that substantial, as to what is marital. Poster has only stated he has access to a lot of money.

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Well, considering that they purchased not one, but two homes in NH with no mortgage debt on either of them, it seems pretty likely that there is substantial marital property. (Yes, the second house is in the trust, but can be removed for $1.00).

Is it possible that she's not entitled to any of that? Sure. Is it likely? No.