divorce and debt

Alabama.... my husband of 28 years has decided he doesn't love me anymore. We just purchased a home 1 year ago. He states that all bills are his to pay. Can i make him responsible for all these bills he has left me with? And can i make him pay me alimony due to the fact that i can't work a full time job due to injury? I don't want the divorce but he has moved on with another woman.

hallie56 said:

Alabama.... my husband of 28 years has decided he doesn't love me anymore. We just purchased a home 1 year ago. He states that all bills are his to pay. Can i make him responsible for all these bills he has left me with? And can i make him pay me alimony due to the fact that i can't work a full time job due to injury? I don't want the divorce but he has moved on with another woman.

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You need to see an attorney to find out what your rights and responsibilities are in your state. In very general terms, you are each entitled to half of the assets accrued during your marriage as well as half of the debts. There are probably exceptions which is why you need to see a local attorney.

In Alabama, spousal support can be considered after 10 years. Among the factors which influence the amount of support are misbehavior on the part of one spouse (and taking up with another woman would presumably count).

Not to worry Hallie...28 years of marriage certainly does entitle you to maintenance....in the case of a severe injury...perhaps for life. You may also be entitled to Social Security benefits based on your husbands work record when he begins to collect, as well as any other retirement benefits he may have...and every little bit helps! Start gathering as much financial documentation as soon as possible. You will need tax returns, bank accounts, credit card receipts etc. to establish your marital finances. Get yourself a divorce attorney who has a good understanding of finances...and knows the judges in your county. Good attorneys know the law...great attorneys know the judges...good luck!

MFinancier said:

Not to worry Hallie...28 years of marriage certainly does entitle you to maintenance....in the case of a severe injury...perhaps for life. You may also be entitled to Social Security benefits based on your husbands work record when he begins to collect, as well as any other retirement benefits he may have...and every little bit helps! Start gathering as much financial documentation as soon as possible. You will need tax returns, bank accounts, credit card receipts etc. to establish your marital finances. Get yourself a divorce attorney who has a good understanding of finances...and knows the judges in your county. Good attorneys know the law...great attorneys know the judges...good luck!

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And just how does knowing the judge guarantee that a fair and impartial hearing, and decision will result????

Bali Hai said:

And just how does knowing the judge guarantee that a fair and impartial hearing, and decision will result????

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If both attorneys know the judge (as they usually do), how does that bias the decision?

mistoffolees said:

If both attorneys know the judge (as they usually do), how does that bias the decision?

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You don't have to tell me that the judical system is a three ring circus.

Originally Posted by MFinancier

Get yourself a divorce attorney who has a good understanding of finances...and knows the judges in your county. Good attorneys know the law...great attorneys know the judges...good luck!

Ask this poster why knowing the judge would make the attorney a "great" attorney vs an attorney would only be "good" if they didn't know the judge.

MFinancier said:

Not to worry Hallie...28 years of marriage certainly does entitle you to maintenance....in the case of a severe injury...perhaps for life. !

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So are you saying that EVERY disabled spouse who was in a long term marriage IS entitled to alimony? Male or female, regardless of whether they are generating an income via disability, workman's comp, whatever? If hubby were disabled at this point, she'd be paying him alimony, perhaps for life, because he had a 28 year marriage?

nextwife said:

So are you saying that EVERY disabled spouse who was in a long term marriage IS entitled to alimony? Male or female, regardless of whether they are generating an income via disability, workman's comp, whatever? If hubby were disabled at this point, she'd be paying him alimony, perhaps for life, because he had a 28 year marriage?

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There would also have to be an income disparity. If one spouse is disabled and has 15k in disablity income, and the other spouse also has only 15-20k in income, there is not going to be any alimony.

nextwife said:

So are you saying that EVERY disabled spouse who was in a long term marriage IS entitled to alimony? Male or female, regardless of whether they are generating an income via disability, workman's comp, whatever? If hubby were disabled at this point, she'd be paying him alimony, perhaps for life, because he had a 28 year marriage?

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Looks like we've got ANOTHER one to train darling!!

LdiJ said:

There would also have to be an income disparity. If one spouse is disabled and has 15k in disablity income, and the other spouse also has only 15-20k in income, there is not going to be any alimony.

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AND, assets would be considered. If the disabled spouse had $10 M in assets inherited before the marriage which were always kept separate, they would not likely receive spousal support - even with significant income disparity.

mistoffolees said:

AND, assets would be considered. If the disabled spouse had $10 M in assets inherited before the marriage which were always kept separate, they would not likely receive spousal support - even with significant income disparity.

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How about 1 million???? Most people don't earn that in their lifetime.

Bali Hai said:

How about 1 million???? Most people don't earn that in their lifetime.

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The amount of assets can be considered. $1 M would presumably be considered, as well.

my major concern is the home.

The house is the only concern i have. out of the 28 years of marriage, i have been the one to raise the children, i have been the one to pay all the bills, granted he did work, when he wanted too. My only concern is whether i can keep my house and he pay for it. I should at least get that for the years i have given to him and gotten nothing much in return. My injury was due to working 80 hr weeks at a carpet factory so he could go and do what he said he always wanted to do, drive a truck. I have given all i can thru the years now it is his turn.

I will see a lawyer as soon as i can afford it, but having to catch up on bills i don't know when that will be, and i just want this over.

hallie56 said:

The house is the only concern i have. out of the 28 years of marriage, i have been the one to raise the children, i have been the one to pay all the bills, granted he did work, when he wanted too.

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That's a common story. Many, many other primary breadwinners remain unrewarded for all of their years of supporting the family, and often are instead made to keep supporting the other spouse.


You and he will split marital assets and marital debts, inluding 401Ks, pension, retirement etc.

hallie56 said:

The house is the only concern i have. out of the 28 years of marriage, i have been the one to raise the children, i have been the one to pay all the bills, granted he did work, when he wanted too. My only concern is whether i can keep my house and he pay for it. I should at least get that for the years i have given to him and gotten nothing much in return. My injury was due to working 80 hr weeks at a carpet factory so he could go and do what he said he always wanted to do, drive a truck. I have given all i can thru the years now it is his turn.

I will see a lawyer as soon as i can afford it, but having to catch up on bills i don't know when that will be, and i just want this over.

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Unfortunately, the courts have no way to determine who put more energy into a marriage - or how to compensate them even if they could. You will get half of the marital assets and half of the marital debt. The one earning less money MAY also get spousal support.

In general, "I'll get a lawyer when I can afford it" isn't a very useful strategy. The cost and complexity tends to increase if you wait, so it's better to get it done quickly.