Florida Divorce Questions

What is the name of your state? Florida
I live in Florida with my 10 yr old son. (My husband now lives in our hometown in Wisconsin.) My husband cheated after 10 yrs of marriage, In July this is 2nd time so I refused to reconcile. I took my son, moved in with my mom and step dad because he terrorized me when I would not reconcile. He sold everything in house pocketed the money, stopped making mortgage payment (I make peanuts compared to him), and moved to our hometown in Wisconsin with new girlfriend. Then he called my employer (I was devastated by events and not doing well at work) and I ended up getting fired. He then called child protective services, they found nothing but case is still open, he was served divorce papers in Feb. He has begged to reconcile (unbelieveable, he now finds out she is a xanax popping drunk who is a manic depressive.I have a Milwaukee police report stating this I hope to use in court) I still refuse. Now He threatens to take my jeep, and threatens my parents jobs. And still has not paid child support. Court system extremely slow. What can I do? I feel helpless. I don't have much money and cannot find a new job (I've been trying for 6 months). I have been with my mom and stepdad for 10 months. I can no longer stay with them and I can find no job. After 4 months finally there is at least mediation. Can I move back to Wisconsin in June after mediation? (So we will both be living back in Wisconsin, but I already have divorce in process in Florida)

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What is the name of your state? Florida
I live in Florida with my 10 yr old son. (My husband now lives in our hometown in Wisconsin.) My husband cheated after 10 yrs of marriage, In July this is 2nd time so I refused to reconcile.

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Okay.

I took my son, moved in with my mom and step dad because he terrorized me when I would not reconcile.

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When did you move? How did he terrorize you?

He sold everything in house pocketed the money, stopped making mortgage payment (I make peanuts compared to him),

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Were you on the mortgage? If so you were also responsible for making the payment.

and moved to our hometown in Wisconsin with new girlfriend.

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YOur hometown? I thought you lived in Florida?

Then he called my employer (I was devastated by events and not doing well at work) and I ended up getting fired.

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You need to take some ownership of being fired. You are the one who did not do well at work. You are the one who controls your own destiny.

He then called child protective services, they found nothing but case is still open,

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How do you know he called CPS? Why is the case still open if they found nothing? When was it opened? What are the allegations?

he was served divorce papers in Feb.

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How long have you been in Florida when you filed?

He has begged to reconcile

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he is allowed.

(unbelieveable, he now finds out she is a xanax popping drunk who is a manic depressive.I have a Milwaukee police report stating this I hope to use in court)

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That is hearsay and inadmissible. It is also most likely irrelevant.

I still refuse.

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Okay.

Now He threatens to take my jeep,

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In whose name is the jeep?

and threatens my parents jobs.

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How does he threaten your parents' jobs?

And still has not paid child support.

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Is there a support order?

Court system extremely slow. What can I do?

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do some research regarding the court system and obtaining child support.

I feel helpless.

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Then you are helpless.

I don't have much money and cannot find a new job (I've been trying for 6 months).

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Have you applied at McDonald's? Burger King? Walmart?

I have been with my mom and stepdad for 10 months. I can no longer stay with them and I can find no job.

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Where is your child?

After 4 months finally there is at least mediation.

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Okay.

Can I move back to Wisconsin in June after mediation? (So we will both be living back in Wisconsin, but I already have divorce in process in Florida)

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Okay. You will need permission to move and take the child out of the court's jurisdiction. And do you really want Florida to have jurisdiction when you live in wisconsin? Why not dismiss the case, move to Wisconsin, establish residency and file there?

My husband and I got married in our hometown in Wisconsin. We moved to Florida 8 years ago. My mom and step dad are the only other family we have who live here in Florida. My son and I moved in with my mom because my husband was terroizing me by not letting me sleep at night, he would blast our bedroom Tv, throw bottle caps at me, tear the covers off of me, block me in the driveway with his truck (my jeep is in both of our names just like his truck), when I tried to call the police he smashed my cell phone, and tore the land line out of the wall, he wrote my name in magic marker on the tile floor, on the windows, on the counter tops. I have never seen him do this before and I was scared.

After I moved, he sold everything in the house, pocketed the money, and moved back to Wisconsin, leaving behind all his responsibilities.

As I stated previously, I was doing poorly at work do to the events going down with my husband. My managers fought to keep me on (I have worked there for 5 years and have a great work ethic) but it was left up to the director who didn't know me. I should have took a leave of absence but didn't...hind sight. I have my resume EVERYWHERE...

I am on the mortgage...payment was $2500 per month...I grossed $2400 per month...we got the mortgage because he brings in 75K per year.

Florida Child Protective services: Husband called in January stating my parents were drunken pot heads and that my son wasn't fed. They came and took pics of full pantry, full fridge, and I took a clean drug test. They wanted my parents to take it too...they are 60 years old and never had one and when they went to have theirs they found that a stranger had to stand there and watch them pee they walked out...so that is why it is still open.

My husband called me in March telling me that his girlfriend smashed his TV, and that he called the police and that she was hitting herself in the face and blaming him. So my sisterinlaw went to the police station and got the police report that she mailed to me stating all of this plus that pipes were found in the house and that both of them were drunk...now this worries me as my husband wants joint custody.

I went to Wisconsin with my son over New Years and wanted to keep communication between my son and my husband open so I let my son stay with his dad over the whole visit...when it came time to leave, his dad said he'd meet me at the airport. I waited and waited and got scared knowing I'd made a bad decision. I called and husband said "don't worry about it"...I called 15 minutes later and he said "He is my son I will do what I want"...15 minutes before take off I called again, I was still waiting by ticketing and he said "where the hell are you? we've been waiting for you by security".

I just want this divorce over. If I start it again in Wisconsin I have to wait 6 more months.

My husband and I got married in our hometown in Wisconsin. We moved to Florida 8 years ago. My mom and step dad are the only other family we have who live here in Florida. My son and I moved in with my mom because my husband was terroizing me by not letting me sleep at night, he would blast our bedroom Tv, throw bottle caps at me, tear the covers off of me, block me in the driveway with his truck (my jeep is in both of our names just like his truck), when I tried to call the police he smashed my cell phone, and tore the land line out of the wall, he wrote my name in magic marker on the tile floor, on the windows, on the counter tops. I have never seen him do this before and I was scared.

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Did you file a police report?

After I moved, he sold everything in the house, pocketed the money, and moved back to Wisconsin, leaving behind all his responsibilities.

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Okay. He had a right to do that. You could have stopped him.

As I stated previously, I was doing poorly at work do to the events. My managers fought to keep me on (I have worked there for 5 years and have a great work ethic) but it was left up to the director who didn't know me. I should have took a leave of absence but didn't...hind sight.

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You still didn't answer my questions regarding where you applied for work since then.

I am on the mortgage...payment was $2500 per month...I grossed $2400 per month...we got the mortgage because he brings in 75K per year.

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Your credit therefore is going to be destroyed. Has the house been foreclosed on yet?

Florida Child Protective services: Husband called in January stating my parents were drunken pot heads and that my son wasn't fed. They came and took pics of full pantry, full fridge, and I took a clean drug test. They wanted my parents to take it too...they are 60 years old and never had one and when they went to have theirs they found that a stranger had to stand there and watch them pee they walked out...so that is why it is still open.

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HOW do you know that your husband called? You are lucky that your child still remains with you because quite frankly CPS could have removed him on probable cause since your parents REFUSE to take a drug test. Oh and 60 years old is NOT old. You may not be able to move from the state of Florida actually if CPS has an open case on you. They have jurisdiction over the child.

I didn't know he was selling everything...I never went back to the house. I've never been through this before. I don't know what I can and can't do...I'm just learning. So as far as stopping him? Maybe if I had all the answers, and knew what to do I could have...

I didn't call police because I was worried about scaring our son and my phones were smashed...and at the time, I didn't want to antagonize my husband...again, hind sight. I knew we were heading for divorce and I wanted it to be decent, for the sake of our son. When you are in the middle of all of this, you don't really think the way you should. The next morning I just removed my son and I from the situation.

My husband bragged to me about calling child protective services. Like I said, they found absolutely no proof of anything...all they had to go on is my parents not taking the test. My parents are in the home (and yes, 60 years old is NOT old), but I'm the mother, I take care of my child and I had a clean drug test.

I took the parenting class, and our son took the sandcastles...husband took nothing yet and it has been 10 months now he has paid nothing.

And yes, I have applied everywhere...they just opened up an Olive Garden here, 120 positions...830 people applied is what the local news said. I am 34 years old and have NEVER been without a job since I was 16. Our home is now in Foreclosure...a court date is coming up...and yes, due to all of this my credit is shot...I have had a 700 credits score all these years...but no more.

hotmaildiva said:

I didn't know he was selling everything...I never went back to the house. I've never been through this before. I don't know what I can and can't do...I'm just learning. So as far as stopping him? Maybe if I had all the answers, and knew what to do I could have...

I didn't call police because I was worried about scaring our son and my phones were smashed...and at the time, I didn't want to antagonize my husband...again, hind sight. I knew we were heading for divorce and I wanted it to be decent, for the sake of our son. When you are in the middle of all of this, you don't really think the way you should. The next morning I just removed my son and I from the situation.

My husband bragged to me about calling child protective services. Like I said, they found absolutely no proof of anything...all they had to go on is my parents not taking the test. My parents are in the home (and yes, 60 years old is NOT old), but I'm the mother, I take care of my child and I had a clean drug test.

I took the parenting class, and our son took the sandcastles...husband took nothing yet and it has been 10 months now he has paid nothing.

And yes, I have applied everywhere...they just opened up an Olive Garden here, 120 positions...830 people applied is what the local news said. I am 34 years old and have NEVER been without a job since I was 16. Our home is now in Foreclosure...a court date is coming up...and yes, due to all of this my credit is shot...I have had a 700 credits score all these years...but no more.

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If you want to get the divorce done and over with, you really need to remain in FL and complete it there.

You need to stop allowing him to terrorize you. He can't take your jeep, he can't hurt your parent's jobs....he can't do anything that he is threatening to do.

Its unfortunate that your parents refused to take the drug test, however since CPS has not removed the children, its not a disaster at this point.

Have you applied for any state assistance?

LdiJ said:

If you want to get the divorce done and over with, you really need to remain in FL and complete it there.

You need to stop allowing him to terrorize you. He can't take your jeep, he can't hurt your parent's jobs....he can't do anything that he is threatening to do.

Its unfortunate that your parents refused to take the drug test, however since CPS has not removed the children, its not a disaster at this point.

Have you applied for any state assistance?

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She probably won't qualify due to her parents' income. If the jeep is in both their names he is also entitled to it but she is also entitled to the car he has if it is in her name. The worry about CPS however is if they get another report most likely the child will be removed if grandma and grandpa don't take a test -- why? Because they are in the house and are exposed to the child constantly. Hence they are involved.

CPS has not been in contact with me for about 3 months now. They have nothing but accusations to go on as they made a surprise visit and took pics of everything and it was unfounded (they found no evidence of drugs and our pantry and fridge was full) with the exception of my mom and stepdads urine sample. they interviewed my friends (1 is a school teacher, the other is a fellow den leader for our sons cubscouts, and another who was a mutual friend of my husbands and mine). They also talked to my son's school teacher to which I'm in constant contact with also.

Thank you for the heads up...I now have more amunition to convince my parents to take the urine test. They wouldn't want to be the reason my son was taken away.

I did sign my son up for medicaid...which actually got the ball in motion for the Dept of Revenue to get involved with going after my husband for child suppport...although they told me it would take at least another 4-6 months.

I also forgot to mention that I have over 500 text messages from my husband...ranging from romance to threatening (although not bodily threats), not to mention the threats he already made true on (calling CPS, calling my employer, deserting us here in florida...I never thought he was capable of doing any of it...I thought wrong)

Ohiogal said:

She probably won't qualify due to her parents' income. If the jeep is in both their names he is also entitled to it but she is also entitled to the car he has if it is in her name. The worry about CPS however is if they get another report most likely the child will be removed if grandma and grandpa don't take a test -- why? Because they are in the house and are exposed to the child constantly. Hence they are involved.

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Unless she is under 22 her parent's income doesn't matter. She can still collect state aid based on HER situation, not their's. She won't get "credit" for providing the housing, but that's all.

I agree that its a worry about CPS if there are further reports. However I don't necessarily agree that the children will be removed. CPS has to have more than just an anonymous (or even an other parent report) of drug use in the home to require testing. A parent even can refuse to drug test, and unless CPS has something else to indicate a need to take the children, they really cannot.

If CPS sees a clean home, with well cared for children, with plenty of food in the home, and seemly healthy adults as well, CPS would have a hard time ordering drug testing based on an anonymous complaint.....or at least would have a hard time making it stick with a judge.

Even CPS has to bow to "due process" without a smoking gun.

That's a relief, but I apparently would still need to get the case closed before I moved. The reason I need to move is my parents are moving into a 55 and over community. My son and I don't qualify. My parents already sold their home and are moving end of next month.

What I think I will need to do is make sure the CPS case gets closed and move to Wisconsin in June...then fly back for the final divorce court dates. My husband already lives in Wisconsin and I just can't imagin starting this whole process over again. I may even get lucky and husband may not even show up. (although I'm not counting on it...he's doing all kinds of things I didn't know he could do).