childsupport/warrant/arrested yesterday..

What is the name of your state? indiana

hello this is to anyone who will listen really im at the point where i have no idea what to do...here it goes..my husband has a 13 yr old daughter who lives in elkcart county,indiana, we live in south bend indiana..anyways my husband owes about 10,000 in childsupport for his daughter..he has not ever had custody of her she has been living with her grandparents who have legal gaurdianship over her since the time she was maybe 7 months old..yes my husband should pay his support i do know that, but i think hes at the point where he does not see her and if he does see her we usually have rules ect..from the grandparents who are really strict with us and she is not allowed to stay the weekends and our phone conversations are usually listend to by one of the grandparents,they have made our life really hard with her, and my husband feels that he will never catch up the support and he will never beable to see her without all the stipulations ect..ect..so he had asked them if they wanted full custody of her they at first said yes then changed their minds about it...once we where in court and told the judge to just put him in jail..they wanted all the money he owes which i understand...but......i am a homemaker we have 4 children together if he does not work i have no money to care for our children here at home and im just at a loss here....they arrested him yesterday on a warrant and right now he is waiting to get sent to goshen indiana..they won't say anything about a bond im broke i have no idea what to do...i cannot afford a lawyer right now ..i need my husband released i need him to work....we have been dealing with elkcart county for years now and i don't know if we can get the case switched to st joe county or not the last time we tried they said no i feel they have handled the case for so long my husband should get a fresh start but they won't let him...i really need advice please help anyone im begging i have no idea what to do!!!

What is the name of your state? indiana
LD is in Indiana so may she could also chime in.

hello this is to anyone who will listen really im at the point where i have no idea what to do...here it goes..my husband has a 13 yr old daughter who lives in elkcart county,indiana, we live in south bend indiana..anyways my husband owes about 10,000 in childsupport for his daughter..

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Okay he needs to pay it.

he has not ever had custody of her she has been living with her grandparents who have legal gaurdianship over her since the time she was maybe 7 months old..yes my husband should pay his support i do know that,

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Good. We agree.

but i think hes at the point where he does not see her and if he does see her we usually have rules ect..from the grandparents who are really strict with us and she is not allowed to stay the weekends and our phone conversations are usually listend to by one of the grandparents,they have made our life really hard with her

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Excuses. Hubby could file for custody of his daughter. he could file for court-ordered visitation. He could do a dozen different things. And yet, he does nothing including paying his child support.

and my husband feels that he will never catch up the support and he will never beable to see her without all the stipulations ect..ect..so he had asked them if they wanted full custody of her they at first said yes then changed their minds about it...once we where in court and told the judge to just put him in jail..

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Why were YOU in court. You are NO BODY in this situation. Your husband is NOT a stand up guy. At all.

they wanted all the money he owes which i understand...but......i am a homemaker

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Time for you to get a job then.

we have 4 children together if he does not work i have no money to care for our children here at home and im just at a loss here....

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You are also legally obligated to financially support your children. Get a job and have your husband get a vasectomy (the vasectomy is not legal advice but good sense).

they arrested him yesterday on a warrant and right now he is waiting to get sent to goshen indiana..they won't say anything about a bond im broke i have no idea what to do...i cannot afford a lawyer right now ..i need my husband released i need him to work....

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Well don't count on it. He will have to pay a purge. He will have to get a job. You are going to have to get a job and support your children. He made choices. Bad choices. He chose to have four more children and not support his first child. Why should the first child suffer because he is not being a man?

we have been dealing with elkcart county for years now and i don't know if we can get the case switched to st joe county or not the last time we tried they said no i feel they have handled the case for so long my husband should get a fresh start but they won't let him...

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Your opinion does not matter. your husband does NOT deserve a fresh start. He has to follow the law which he has not been doing.

i really need advice please help anyone im begging i have no idea what to do!!!

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Get a job and start contributing to the support of YOUR children. Let your husband deal with the situation of his former child and support her.

gracelessstar21 said:

i need my husband released i need him to work.

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Your husband's obligation to his child and the consequences for disobeying a court order supersedes your need to have him home.

You are incorrect in stating "he should pay his child support, but..." The correct phrase is "he should pay his child support, period."

I understand how desperate you must feel, but neither you nor your husband are the victims here. Actions have consequences, and you are both realizing the consequences of the actions you chose to take. If he can't afford one child, he certainly can't afford five! You can't have four children with a man that can't afford to take care of them and then expect everything to just work out somehow. This was inevitable, and the appropriate time to keep your family out of the system was back when you were making the choices that have now put you there.

Get a job. If that's not enough, get a second job. If that's not enough, get a third job. Sell everything you possibly can. Sell your car and take the bus. Sell your furniture except for what you absolutely need (that means sitting on the floor if you have to.) Get rid of your Internet service. Do without a phone (land line and cell). Sign up for WIC.

You no longer have the option of solving this problem with minimal hardship to your family. Now you're going to have to do it the extremely hard way.

you people must be the most unkind and hard hearted people there are

do you really think its that easy. I notice your both women . And you think it is just ok to send a man to jail over money when he has got 4 other kids. should he not by your rules then be locked up for not paying for those 4. grow up and stop blaming everyone else , I guarantee you both have kids and receive child support. Where is the mom , and hows come that does not matter should she not pay also.this women asked for advice, not a bunch of grandstanding and non-sense that will not help her. It is really easy to say what you both have said sitting at your table and drinking coffee. grow and try and help someone not make them feel even worse , why even comment???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

rights of a man said:

do you really think its that easy. I notice your both women . And you think it is just ok to send a man to jail over money when he has got 4 other kids. Should he not by your rules then be locked up for not paying for those 4. Grow up and stop blaming everyone else , i guarantee you both have kids and receive child support. Where is the mom , and hows come that does not matter should she not pay also.this women asked for advice, not a bunch of grandstanding and non-sense that will not help her. It is really easy to say what you both have said sitting at your table and drinking coffee. Grow and try and help someone not make them feel even worse , why even comment???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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word grow up

rights of a man said:

do you really think its that easy. I notice your both women . And you think it is just ok to send a man to jail over money when he has got 4 other kids. should he not by your rules then be locked up for not paying for those 4. grow up and stop blaming everyone else , I guarantee you both have kids and receive child support. Where is the mom , and hows come that does not matter should she not pay also.this women asked for advice, not a bunch of grandstanding and non-sense that will not help her. It is really easy to say what you both have said sitting at your table and drinking coffee. grow and try and help someone not make them feel even worse , why even comment???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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rights of a man said:

word grow up

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Yes. YOU should grow up.

If a man cannot afford to support all of his children, he should zip it up or keep it in his pants instead of creating children he cannot afford.

While you are busy trying to push the stereotype that women have babies just to have a man support that child entirely, that is not today's reality. Most women are forced to work AND still come home to care for these children. All with little to no assistance from the other half of the equation that created the child in the first place.

When a man takes a hands-off approach to parenting, and makes the woman do all of the work to raise the child, he SHOULD be expected to pay for the privilege.

rights of a man said:

do you really think its that easy. I notice your both women . And you think it is just ok to send a man to jail over money when he has got 4 other kids. should he not by your rules then be locked up for not paying for those 4. grow up and stop blaming everyone else , I guarantee you both have kids and receive child support. Where is the mom , and hows come that does not matter should she not pay also.this women asked for advice, not a bunch of grandstanding and non-sense that will not help her. It is really easy to say what you both have said sitting at your table and drinking coffee. grow and try and help someone not make them feel even worse , why even comment???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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rights of a man said:

word grow up

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This thread is over 4 years old. The OP is long gone. If you have a question, please start your own post. If you have a rant, there's other places to do that.