I knew the topic would be sensitive and also knew it would come out a bit insulting and, for that, I'm sorry. I've been around lots of women through my life where I was a confidant (long story), lots of clients and have read many stories here and elsewhere where some person is going through a divorce. It is painful and messy and one would be very smart to have accounts or other assets able to be used solely by them and without agreement or even knowledge of the spouse. Very smart. The world being what it is, that is what I advise people to do--at least at the start.
But as anyone who has been married knows, marriage is hard. Really, really hard. I guess that for some it starts out with buttercups and bluebirds and stays that way, but I haven't met them. I married late in life and there was a substantial difference between my and my wife's assets. An attorney would have committed malpractice to not recommend a pre-nuptual agreement to me in some way. I didn't do it for the same reason I tell those who read this (This is not legal advice, just advice.) to be all in, it is a lot easier to find a reason to get out when you have a way out planned.
Sorry for being old fashioned in thinking that those involved should do everything possible to keep a marriage thriving. (Crimes in the relationship, like abuse, are a different story.) It becomes possible to come back and say "sorry" after a line in the sand has been drawn, words yelled which cannot be taken back and even when it wasn't your fault in any way, shape or form in the first place, when all the chips are in the pot.
Now, even though I hope and pray, it is probable I am in the twilight of my too-short marriage. My wife was married previously and really didn't get the "all-in" theory either. But time and events have changed her feelings and thoughts and every chip either of us has are in. I live with joy each day and relish each kiss or hug. It's still hard. It is worth it beyond anything I've ever done.
I'm glad I believed I had no other option but to apologize.