Bank Record Subpoena

What is the name of your state? Alabama
In November 2007 I met & began dating a man who legally separated from his wife in April 2007. At the beginning of March 2008 I added him to my bank account. I have found out that my bank records may be subpoenaed by his estranged wife's attorney because he is now on the account. I feel this is an invasion of my privacy and I should not be required to submit my financial information. Can I fight a subpoena? Both of our paychecks are put in the account by direct deposit.

snugglebutt said:

What is the name of your state? Alabama
In November 2007 I met & began dating a man who legally separated from his wife in April 2007. At the beginning of March 2008 I added him to my bank account. I have found out that my bank records may be subpoenaed by his estranged wife's attorney because he is now on the account. I feel this is an invasion of my privacy and I should not be required to submit my financial information. Can I fight a subpoena? Both of our paychecks are put in the account by direct deposit.

Click to expand...

You added a man to whom you are NOT married, to YOUR bank account! And on top of that he is still married to someone else? Are you out of your mind?

Close that account NOW, put your money in your own account, and don't ever be that foolish again!

Agreed! Whatever were you thinking? The guy is MARRIED!!!!!!

Heck, even AFTER 12 years of marriage, my husband is not on MY accounts! We simply opened an additional account that we share AFTER we married.

Agreed! Whatever were you thinking? The guy is MARRIED!!!!!!

Heck, even AFTER 12 years of marriage, my husband is not on MY accounts! We simply opened some additional accounts that we share AFTER we married.

I echo the others. Except for the fact that NOW you are drawn in to his divorce and you can't do that -- just close the accounts and protect yourself from a subpoena. If you do open another account and close this one, her attorney will subpoena that information to make sure you are NOT hiding marital income and participating in dissipation of marital assets. You brought this on yourself. However you should close the joint account and definitely NOT deposit anything else into it. Open your own account where YOUR money goes.

I agree with Ohiogal, do what she says. To nextwife, I say with complete respect and acknowledgement about the difficulties and issues related to mariage, perhaps that is why you are nextwife and not wife. My theory is that at some point, one must be all in. All the chips in the pot with no backup plan. There are a number of times I've fought through the hardships of mariage because of my promise to God and to the community through my vows. I have great confidence that without these things I would have left on more than one occaision. I don't mean to start a fight as I have great respect for nextwife, but sometimes it helps to focus on achieving success in difficult situations (mariage is allways difficult) by having no back-up or fall-back plan. I advise clients to have one, but I always let them know that if they do have one, the primary plan is more likely to fail.

tranquility said:

To nextwife, I say with complete respect and acknowledgement about the difficulties and issues related to mariage, perhaps that is why you are nextwife and not wife.

Click to expand...

/begin hijack

Funny. I have always been under the impression that nextwife is indeed wife. Just because a woman's husband happens to have been married previously does not imply that the woman was herself married previously, or that she is contemplating an exit strategy, or that her husband contemplated the failure of his prior marriage.

My husband and I maintain completely separate asset accounts. It absolutely does not imply that I regard marriage as anything less than a sacred covenant. It was strictly a financial management decision.

/end hijack

Perhaps your comments about marriage -- hardships, vows, etc. -- would be better directed to OP's boyfriend, as he is the one still married to someone ELSE.

tranquility said:

I agree with Ohiogal, do what she says. To nextwife, I say with complete respect and acknowledgement about the difficulties and issues related to mariage, perhaps that is why you are nextwife and not wife. My theory is that at some point, one must be all in. All the chips in the pot with no backup plan. There are a number of times I've fought through the hardships of mariage because of my promise to God and to the community through my vows. I have great confidence that without these things I would have left on more than one occaision. I don't mean to start a fight as I have great respect for nextwife, but sometimes it helps to focus on achieving success in difficult situations (mariage is allways difficult) by having no back-up or fall-back plan. I advise clients to have one, but I always let them know that if they do have one, the primary plan is more likely to fail.

Click to expand...

Whow....that is very insightful....and I agree. There is a point in a marriage where being "all for one" is truly necessary for success, and necessary for the health of the marriage as well.

However, at the same time, I also believe that having some divisions, some "personal money" is also necessary for self reliance and independence.

I have watched many married clients ruin themselves financially and personally, by refusing to treat themselves as a financial team. I have also seen married clients ruin themselves financially and personally by treating themselves as a team, when it was not wise to do so.

I have also seen both men and women, put themselves in horrible positions when marriages failed, by being too reliant on the other spouse, financially....when the other spouse is not honorable....and often when it wasn't a spouse, but a significant other instead.

So, there is not one prime method for success. The OP in this thread made a huge mistake which needs to be corrected, but correcting it may not make the problem go away 100%.

Parents who have kids from other relationships also need to be aware of what the estate implications are of failing to keep segregated accounts. In our case, hubby has two adult kids, but we have a minor child together. Our minor child is better protected, financially, if we keep my assets in my accounts. Else, if we died together, our child would have to share MY assets with HIS grown kids, yet our child still needs almost a decade of support and then college, which his other kids are both long done with. It's just safer to keep much of my stuff seperate.

LdiJ said:

Whow....that is very insightful....and I agree. There is a point in a marriage where being "all for one" is truly necessary for success, and necessary for the health of the marriage as well.

You mean "ALL for the woman" don't you??? You're agreeing with someone who misspelled marriage TWICE!! Maybe the "S" isn't working on her keyboard??

However, at the same time, I also believe that having some divisions, some "personal money" is also necessary for self reliance and independence.

I agree, just make damn sure that the "personal money" is EARNED by the person in its control!!

I have watched many married clients ruin themselves financially and personally, by refusing to treat themselves as a financial team. I have also seen married clients ruin themselves financially and personally by treating themselves as a team, when it was not wise to do so.

I agree, and, it's usually the wife who does the ruining!!!

I have also seen both men and women, put themselves in horrible positions when marriages failed, by being too reliant on the other spouse, financially....when the other spouse is not honorable....and often when it wasn't a spouse, but a significant other instead.

So, there is not one prime method for success. The OP in this thread made a huge mistake which needs to be corrected, but correcting it may not make the problem go away 100%.

Click to expand...

There is ONE PRIME METHOD for success for men. DO NOT GET MARRIED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!

I knew the topic would be sensitive and also knew it would come out a bit insulting and, for that, I'm sorry. I've been around lots of women through my life where I was a confidant (long story), lots of clients and have read many stories here and elsewhere where some person is going through a divorce. It is painful and messy and one would be very smart to have accounts or other assets able to be used solely by them and without agreement or even knowledge of the spouse. Very smart. The world being what it is, that is what I advise people to do--at least at the start.

But as anyone who has been married knows, marriage is hard. Really, really hard. I guess that for some it starts out with buttercups and bluebirds and stays that way, but I haven't met them. I married late in life and there was a substantial difference between my and my wife's assets. An attorney would have committed malpractice to not recommend a pre-nuptual agreement to me in some way. I didn't do it for the same reason I tell those who read this (This is not legal advice, just advice.) to be all in, it is a lot easier to find a reason to get out when you have a way out planned.

Sorry for being old fashioned in thinking that those involved should do everything possible to keep a marriage thriving. (Crimes in the relationship, like abuse, are a different story.) It becomes possible to come back and say "sorry" after a line in the sand has been drawn, words yelled which cannot be taken back and even when it wasn't your fault in any way, shape or form in the first place, when all the chips are in the pot.

Now, even though I hope and pray, it is probable I am in the twilight of my too-short marriage. My wife was married previously and really didn't get the "all-in" theory either. But time and events have changed her feelings and thoughts and every chip either of us has are in. I live with joy each day and relish each kiss or hug. It's still hard. It is worth it beyond anything I've ever done.

I'm glad I believed I had no other option but to apologize.

Just wanted to throw in my 2 cents. I agree with all the posters who stated that this woman was foolish to have a joint account with a MARRIED man.

As far as co mingling funds after a marriage-I think it's entirely up to the couple getting married. I have no problem with either spouse wanting a separate account for those monies.
Mingled funds/joint accounts can be set up for those funds obtained during the marriage.

Doesn't mean that the couple plans on splitting up just because all the funds haven't been lumped together. But why should wife or hubby feel entitled to funds obtained prior to the marriage?

Tranquility, I agree with everything you said. 100%, completely, totally, absolutely - and it was well stated.

With that being said, whether boyfriend was married or not, the OP was an idiot for having a joint bank account with a BOYFRIEND... period. I mean come on now. How many people haven't already gotten burned by 'playing house' already???? Wait... she was going to be different. He was going to have more of a committment to his shack up than to his wife.

Ok.

All in means *ALL* in. Money is only part of the all. I agree with the other posters regarding the wisdom of joint accounts which are important between boyfriend/girlfriend--especially when one is still married. Since there is some level of economic partnershp in an exclusive relationship, I wouldn't have a problem opening up a joint account together where each person puts in a little money each week/month/as needed for purchases made together. A little money from the person's *real* account--the one where government or payroll checks come in. That way no one should have a problem with a subpoena on that account or dishonesty against it and a couple can begin to explore one of the hardest marriage topics, how to handle money together. If one were to worry such a small account would expose them to problems for some reason, one should probably know they have not progressed far enough in their relationship to consider such a thing.