any advice?

What is the name of your state? CA
Well lets see if i can do this in a nutshell... My x-husband moved out last july..we were married 9 years, this june it would be 10. I have a lawyer, but maybe im not asking the right ?? He evaded the divorce papers for months finally in Dec. they finally got him. I was a stay at home wife and mom our entire marriage . When he left he gave no finacial support and continues to harass me. He has bounced job to job and says it is all my fault. I was a verbally abused the entire marriage. I of course went and got 2 jobs and have been worin my butt off for my 6 yr old daughter and myself. Over this whole time period i have received $500 from him bit by bit. he has even asked me for $$. ( i didnt give it to him) He is supposed to see my daughter tues after school and friday after school to saturday dinner. He never quite seems to be able to swing this excuse after excuse. He tells me that is an impossible schedule for him to keep and to give an example he hasnt seen her in over 3 weeks. I am NOT makin it. The financial burden it sinking me. I am doin my best but how much longer can i wait to get support. What are the consequences he can face. What can I do?? o and he is Bipolar. So the roller coaster of him doesnt help. I have lost days at work, and he has disturbed by employer as well. Any advice?What is the name of your state?ca

You cannot depend on him to take his time. You need to realize that now. You also need to realize that you want to be married until June. There is a benefit to that. Did your attorney file for temporary orders for child support? if not you need him to do that. But you also need to downsize so you can afford all your bills yourself.

Ohiogal said:

You cannot depend on him to take his time. You need to realize that now. You also need to realize that you want to be married until June. There is a benefit to that. Did your attorney file for temporary orders for child support? if not you need him to do that. But you also need to downsize so you can afford all your bills yourself.

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There MAY be benefit to waiting until June, but she needs to discuss it with her attorney. It could just as easily go the other way - since she has a steady job and he does not, she could end up paying spousal support if they wait until June particularly since he may claim that his bipolar disorder makes him unable to work.

Wouldn't he have to show that he is undergoing medical treatment for his Bipolar and still not able to maintain employment? If he is indeep bipolar and it prevents him from maintaining employment shouldn't he then be getting a government check?

NneedofHelp said:

Wouldn't he have to show that he is undergoing medical treatment for his Bipolar and still not able to maintain employment? If he is indeep bipolar and it prevents him from maintaining employment shouldn't he then be getting a government check?

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Maybe, maybe not. The standards of proof are different. There are plenty of scenarios where one person receives spousal support even where they are not considered disabled for social security purposes.

It doesn't change the fact that she needs to talk with her attorney. There may be advantage to waiting until they hit 10 years or there may be good reason to file before the 10 yr anniversary.

mistoffolees said:

Maybe, maybe not. The standards of proof are different. There are plenty of scenarios where one person receives spousal support even where they are not considered disabled for social security purposes.

It doesn't change the fact that she needs to talk with her attorney. There may be advantage to waiting until they hit 10 years or there may be good reason to file before the 10 yr anniversary.

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She already filed. He was served in December. Her anniversary is in June. Hubby won't qualify for spousal support based on what she has posted. She also has custody of the child. Dad will have to pay child support to support his child. Also at the 10 year mark of marriage, she qualifies for SS based on his earning history not hers. And since she was a SAHM for most of the marriage that is a benefit that is determined only by the length of time she was married to him.

mistoffolees said:

Maybe, maybe not. The standards of proof are different. There are plenty of scenarios where one person receives spousal support even where they are not considered disabled for social security purposes.

It doesn't change the fact that she needs to talk with her attorney. There may be advantage to waiting until they hit 10 years or there may be good reason to file before the 10 yr anniversary.

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Length of marriage is normally date of marriage to date of separation. OP said she filed already. As far as CA is concerned...the magical ten year rule is most significant for it's potential to modify. Shorter duration marriages can have lenghty support as well...but the jurisdiction for modification is limited. Just my two cents.