Family in turmoil!!

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey
I need some help please. My MIL past away Jan. 2008 and her daughter is the executrix of the estate. No fee for her was included in the will, but now she informs us she can and will be taking 5% for her work. Is 5% too much? It's not a big estate. Is the 5% only on monies in and out of estate (meaning debt paid, house sale)? Also, my SIL informed me that there is a life insurance policy from his deceased father that was left to my MIL (since she was the bene) in which my husband was the co-bene. Is my husband entitled to that money or is it part of the estate? Thanks for your input.

It is probably not too much for a small estate. The statutory amount in NJ is:

a. 6% on all estate income;
b. 5% of the estate up to $200,000;
c. 3.5% on excess above $200,000 up to $1,000,000;
d. 2% on excess over $1,000,000 or such other percentage as the Superior Court may determine.

The executor can waive the commissions or take less than the statutory amount. And the beneficiaries can object in court to the commissions if they feel that the complexity of the estate administration does not warrant the amount of the commissions to be paid. But that is a tough sell if the executor is only asking for the amount allowed by statute.

Also, my SIL informed me that there is a life insurance policy from his deceased father that was left to my MIL (since she was the bene) in which my husband was the co-bene. Is my husband entitled to that money or is it part of the estate?

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Let's clarify. Were MIL and husband actually co-beneficiaries - that is, both primary beneficiaries? Or was MIL alone the primary with your husband a contingent beneficiary?

Assuming that husband's father passed away before MIL:
1) If both were primary beneficiaries, then your husband should be able to claim 50% and your MIL's estate 50%.
2) If MIL was the sole primary beneficiary, the estate should be able to claim 100%.

Your husband should contact the insurance company to confirm that. While the insurance company is not going to give much inforamation, they should be willing to tell him whether he can make a claim or not.

Thank you for your advice.

In regards to the life insurance policy, my husband was named as co-bene with his mother listed as bene.

Oh, I almost forgot

Do estates with wills still go to probate? Is probate just basically a review of the money keeping records of the estate? I ask this because my SIL is executrix and we are in the dark with all the monies in and out of the estate. She tells us things, but quite frankly, we don't trust her and want to see something in writing which is official. She stated that if anyone had a problem with her record keeping, then they could pay for an audit/review, not the estate. There are 4 siblings total and we feel everyone had the right to know. The aftermath of death in families is so terrible. It seems the ugly comes out in everyone.

In regards to the life insurance policy, my husband was named as co-bene with his mother listed as bene.

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Then your husband should be able to make a claim for his portion with the insurance company on his own. SIL can make the claim for MIL's portion on behalf of the estate.

Do estates with wills still go to probate? Is probate just basically a review of the money keeping records of the estate? I ask this because my SIL is executrix and we are in the dark with all the monies in and out of the estate.....

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Let's back up a step. Unless the will has been probated and the Surrogate's court has issued Letters Testamentary to SIL, then SIL is not the executrix. Your husband should have received notification of that within 60 days of SIL's appointment by the court.

If there are assets to be distributed under the terms of a will (rather than by joint ownership or account beneficiary designations or assets in a trust, etc), then probate is the legal method to accomplish that. "A review of the money keeping..." is part of the probate process, but probate is much more than that. First, it is the legal mechanism to determine that a will is valid and for legally appointing someone to manage the estate's affairs. Then, comes the collection of the deceased's assets, filing of taxes, paying the deceased's legitimate creditors, and finally distributing the remaining assets to the beneficiaries under the will. Maintaining good records of those transactions is part of that.

I know that the Surrogate's Courts in several counties in NJ have websites that contain descriptive overviews of the probate process. Do an internet search on something like "New Jersey probate" and you should find plenty of sites.

Most states try to avoid placing an undue burden on the administrator while the estate is being administered unless there is some reason for the court to be more heavily involved. It is the "light hand" approach, mainly to avoid making probate more costly and time-consuming than it already is. Put in plain language, the information that SIL is voluntarily providing is probably more than she is legally required to provide while the estate is being administered.

But, at the end of the day before probate is closed, she will need to do an accounting. In the meantime, probate files are public record and you should be able to look at the case file by visiting the Surrogate's Court where the case is taking place.