What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IOWA
My attorney isn't fighting for me. Can I talk to the judge myself???
The history:
My husband passed away 16 months ago. We got together 2 years after his first wife passed away - he had 3 kids with her. We were together 8 years and had planned on getting married but didn't do it until he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I always got along with his kids (I am the same age as the youngest) but they were never very close to us - they live out of state and only showed up a couple of times a year or called when they wanted something ($$) from him. His will (his son was listed as executor & I was alternate executor) left me the real estate & contents (1 home worth $150,000) and his 401K went to the kids ($600,000). I was always ok with this as it wasn't about the money for me - I loved him - period! I also had a good job with my own income. I traveled every other week and officed out of the house on opposite weeks.
In the 5 months I nursed him at home while he was dying, my boss allowed me to stop traveling and just work out of my home office. The kids only showed up a few times and never offered to take time off their jobs to help me. We married on January 3rd, I got a new boss and was fired on Jan 19th for not traveling and my husband passed away on February 7th. Great guy my new boss - what a heart!
The day after the wake, unbeknownst to me, the son went to the attorney who drew up the will (a cousin) and got a judge to apoint another executor (ANOTHER cousin). (He had to have another executor besides himself as Iowa requires the executor to live in the state.) From that day forward, the kids stopped talking to me and things got really ugly.
I then found an attorney who specializes in probate to represent me.
They have fought paying the funeral home bill and the funeral home started coming after me. They refuse to pay for the funeral luncheon($3000) that was held at my father's country club. The kids are saying that my parents said they wanted to pay for the luncheon. I payed this bill out of my savings as I assumed the estate would pay me. They are fighting paying the old property tax bills as well as the remaining household bills (heat, electric, etc) from when their dad was still alive - again, I paid these bills out of my limited savings. They are fighting the standard spousal allowance that the judge awarded several months ago ($1000 per month for 12 months).
On my attorney's direction, I turned over a vehicle and a lot of personal property (old china and heirlooms, family pictures etc) to the estate to show good faith. Now they are trying to get the one other vehicle saying their dad was not in a stable mental state when he signed it over to me. According to the will and to IA probate law, the vehicles and everything on/in the propery belongs to me so I don't think I should have given the car to them but I did what my attorney told me to do.
Today there was a hearing regarding these issues - spousal support, household bills, funeral bills and the car. My attorney amended my claim against the estate to include household bills since my husband died because the deed to the house hadn't been turned over to me until just a couple of weeks ago. The son testified via phone with one outright lie after another - saying my parents told him that they wanted to pay for the luncheon, saying his father was delerious the last 2 months of his life - like I tricked him into marrying me ( he was here all of 2 days so he has no concept of his condition), saying he didn't know that his father and I had gotten married until the day of the wake (he was informed by his sisters the week after we got married), he claimed I hadn't turned over any of the family keepsakes (the morning of the wake, I gave him his father's favorite diamond watch and then gave them all of the other things I mention above). All in all, he lied non stop through his testimony.
My parents testified that they had never said they would pay for the luncheon and that I had paid for it out of my pocket. I testified and the estate attorney really beat me up - insinuating that I was a gold digger, that my husband was mentally out of it when we got married and that the estate shouldn't have to pay any of these bills because I had money in the bank when my attorney applied for the spousal support. He was absolutely ugly and vicious throughout all is examination and my attorney didn't once object to any of the things he was saying or asking me.
The fact that I had a total of $32,000 (every last cent of my savings and checking) to my name the month after my husband died should not mean that the estate shouldn't pay the bills. Shouldn't my attorney have objected to him talking about the balance in my account 16 months ago???
I lost my job because I needed to take care of my husband while he was dying and I've gone through all but $10,000 of that money in the last 14 months. Shouldn't the judge know that???
There were just so many lies from the son, insinuations from the estate attorney and with MY attorney not objecting or bringing up any of these issues in cross examination, the judge did not get the whole story. There were many times I tried to bring up some of these things but the estate attorney would just shut me down and not let me speak.
Soooooooo, is there a way for me to talk to the judge so she does get the whole story? I obviously can't depend on my attorney to bring these things to light. I'm just so frustrated and distraught about this whole thing. The stress is almost unbearable.
Add to that the fact that I also have a $6000 bill to my attorney (one that I feel has done a terrible job of representing me) because of them draging this out for so long - I'm ready to drive off a cliff.
Please advise!
My attorney isn't fighting for me. Can I talk to the judge myself???
The history:
My husband passed away 16 months ago. We got together 2 years after his first wife passed away - he had 3 kids with her. We were together 8 years and had planned on getting married but didn't do it until he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I always got along with his kids (I am the same age as the youngest) but they were never very close to us - they live out of state and only showed up a couple of times a year or called when they wanted something ($$) from him. His will (his son was listed as executor & I was alternate executor) left me the real estate & contents (1 home worth $150,000) and his 401K went to the kids ($600,000). I was always ok with this as it wasn't about the money for me - I loved him - period! I also had a good job with my own income. I traveled every other week and officed out of the house on opposite weeks.
In the 5 months I nursed him at home while he was dying, my boss allowed me to stop traveling and just work out of my home office. The kids only showed up a few times and never offered to take time off their jobs to help me. We married on January 3rd, I got a new boss and was fired on Jan 19th for not traveling and my husband passed away on February 7th. Great guy my new boss - what a heart!
The day after the wake, unbeknownst to me, the son went to the attorney who drew up the will (a cousin) and got a judge to apoint another executor (ANOTHER cousin). (He had to have another executor besides himself as Iowa requires the executor to live in the state.) From that day forward, the kids stopped talking to me and things got really ugly.
I then found an attorney who specializes in probate to represent me.
They have fought paying the funeral home bill and the funeral home started coming after me. They refuse to pay for the funeral luncheon($3000) that was held at my father's country club. The kids are saying that my parents said they wanted to pay for the luncheon. I payed this bill out of my savings as I assumed the estate would pay me. They are fighting paying the old property tax bills as well as the remaining household bills (heat, electric, etc) from when their dad was still alive - again, I paid these bills out of my limited savings. They are fighting the standard spousal allowance that the judge awarded several months ago ($1000 per month for 12 months).
On my attorney's direction, I turned over a vehicle and a lot of personal property (old china and heirlooms, family pictures etc) to the estate to show good faith. Now they are trying to get the one other vehicle saying their dad was not in a stable mental state when he signed it over to me. According to the will and to IA probate law, the vehicles and everything on/in the propery belongs to me so I don't think I should have given the car to them but I did what my attorney told me to do.
Today there was a hearing regarding these issues - spousal support, household bills, funeral bills and the car. My attorney amended my claim against the estate to include household bills since my husband died because the deed to the house hadn't been turned over to me until just a couple of weeks ago. The son testified via phone with one outright lie after another - saying my parents told him that they wanted to pay for the luncheon, saying his father was delerious the last 2 months of his life - like I tricked him into marrying me ( he was here all of 2 days so he has no concept of his condition), saying he didn't know that his father and I had gotten married until the day of the wake (he was informed by his sisters the week after we got married), he claimed I hadn't turned over any of the family keepsakes (the morning of the wake, I gave him his father's favorite diamond watch and then gave them all of the other things I mention above). All in all, he lied non stop through his testimony.
My parents testified that they had never said they would pay for the luncheon and that I had paid for it out of my pocket. I testified and the estate attorney really beat me up - insinuating that I was a gold digger, that my husband was mentally out of it when we got married and that the estate shouldn't have to pay any of these bills because I had money in the bank when my attorney applied for the spousal support. He was absolutely ugly and vicious throughout all is examination and my attorney didn't once object to any of the things he was saying or asking me.
The fact that I had a total of $32,000 (every last cent of my savings and checking) to my name the month after my husband died should not mean that the estate shouldn't pay the bills. Shouldn't my attorney have objected to him talking about the balance in my account 16 months ago???
I lost my job because I needed to take care of my husband while he was dying and I've gone through all but $10,000 of that money in the last 14 months. Shouldn't the judge know that???
There were just so many lies from the son, insinuations from the estate attorney and with MY attorney not objecting or bringing up any of these issues in cross examination, the judge did not get the whole story. There were many times I tried to bring up some of these things but the estate attorney would just shut me down and not let me speak.
Soooooooo, is there a way for me to talk to the judge so she does get the whole story? I obviously can't depend on my attorney to bring these things to light. I'm just so frustrated and distraught about this whole thing. The stress is almost unbearable.
Add to that the fact that I also have a $6000 bill to my attorney (one that I feel has done a terrible job of representing me) because of them draging this out for so long - I'm ready to drive off a cliff.
Please advise!