PA Adoption Question

I'm in the adoption process in the state of PA. My ex wants her husband to adopt my children. I have received the consent agreement, but I'm afraid that I will be giving up all of my rights, even if the adoption doesn't go through. Does anyone know what happens to my rights if the adoption falls through?

If you allow someone to adopt your children, you no longer have children. They aren't yours anymore.

If the adoption does not go through, then you remain the childrens' father, but it does put the court on notice that you are not interested in being a parent to the children you brought into the world.

Unfortunately, we live in different states which makes it very difficult to have any kind of relationship. We were only 17 when we had our children and have both married since. My ex hasn't allowed me to be a part of their lives since she has remarried. They have a full time dad that is there with them and raising them for the last 8 years, so I'm okay with the adoption. I just want to make sure that if for whatever reason the judge declines the adoption that I haven't given up all rights as their father.

bubslilnoof said:

Unfortunately, we live in different states which makes it very difficult to have any kind of relationship.

Click to expand...

It's only as difficult as you allow it to be.

We were only 17 when we had our children and have both married since.

Click to expand...

So you put more effort into having a relationship with someone that you could have sex with, than your children. Let's call a spade a spade.

My ex hasn't allowed me to be a part of their lives since she has remarried.

Click to expand...

And what have you done through the legal channels to ensure that you can remain a part of their lives? Nothing? Thought not. I know, you can't afford it. How much did you spend dating your new wife? How much did you spend on the wedding? How much have you spent on outings, food, gifts, etc.? Thought so.

They have a full time dad that is there with them and raising them for the last 8 years, so I'm okay with the adoption.

Click to expand...

No, they don't have a dad. They have their mother's husband, who is NOT their father, but from the looks of it, should be since you are not interested in taking the job.

I just want to make sure that if for whatever reason the judge declines the adoption that I haven't given up all rights as their father.

Click to expand...

Do everyone a favor and make sure that EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER is done to make sure that adoption goes through. Write the judge. Write your congressman. Give your ex a ton of money to hire a kick ass attorney. Heck, send me her address, I'll take up a collection. These kids deserve to have a legal FATHER... a MAN in their lives that gives a darn about them... instead of the inconvenience of it all.

I'm looking for legal advice, not your opinion! That is what this website is intended for, isn't it?

bubslilnoof said:

I'm looking for legal advice, not your opinion! That is what this website is intended for, isn't it?

Click to expand...

You got the legal advice, the opinion is a bonus. Think of it as a buy one, get one free offer.

Oh, and I have YET to give you my opinion. However, you really should help her push this adoption forward. For the sake of these children, who again, need a father.

There's nothing legal about your response! Do you have nothing better to do with your time besides harrassing people that are looking for help?

bubslilnoof said:

There's nothing legal about your response! Do you have nothing better to do with your time besides harrassing people that are looking for help?

Click to expand...

On top of being irresponsible, you obviously don't comprehend well. I'll replay your legal answer, this time read it slowly:

If you allow someone to adopt your children, you no longer have children. They aren't yours anymore.

If the adoption does not go through, then you remain the childrens' father, but it does put the court on notice that you are not interested in being a parent to the children you brought into the world.

Click to expand...

That, and your ex needs a kick ass attorney. However, I'll change that response a bit. With you as a respondent, she only needs a marginally effective attorney.

bubslilnoof said:

There's nothing legal about your response! Do you have nothing better to do with your time besides harrassing people that are looking for help?

Click to expand...

CourtClerk gave you legally factual advice. Her opinions are correct as well.

bubslilnoof said:

I'm in the adoption process in the state of PA. My ex wants her husband to adopt my children. I have received the consent agreement, but I'm afraid that I will be giving up all of my rights, even if the adoption doesn't go through. Does anyone know what happens to my rights if the adoption falls through?

Click to expand...

What rights? to a child you obviously don't want?

If the adoption goes though. You walk away, Kiddo wins a real Dad.

If the adoption does not go through, you'd be on the hook for CS.

If you do not help this adoption go through, and you don't intend to play Dad, you're a jerk... on the hook for CS.

Bloopy2 said:

If you do not help this adoption go through, and you don't intend to play Dad, you're a jerk... on the hook for CS.

Click to expand...

Now see... THAT'S an opinion.

And a great one too.

Wow... I think y'all were a little harsh and a lot judgmental.

Seriously, who doesn't wish their kids could grow up in a normal happy 2 parent family.

I guess it comes growing up with a brother who is adopted, and who has adopted children of his own. I can understand that it's not an easy decision to make, and can admire a little bit someone who has the courage to let his children go so they can be happy with the parents they have rather than to fight over them constantly...

OP - take the legal advice and just ignore the crap that came with it.... (the opinionated crap that comes from the same seniors who will be the first to gripe at anyone that this is a LEGAL site and not one for personal opinions.. of course we know that is only true when it is someone other than them who wishes to express those opinions)

Funny, we don't give a hoot what you think.

Go sing on the street corner. See if you get a warmer response.

txmom512 said:

Wow... I think y'all were a little harsh and a lot judgmental.

Seriously, who doesn't wish their kids could grow up in a normal happy 2 parent family.

I guess it comes growing up with a brother who is adopted, and who has adopted children of his own. I can understand that it's not an easy decision to make, and can admire a little bit someone who has the courage to let his children go so they can be happy with the parents they have rather than to fight over them constantly...

OP - take the legal advice and just ignore the crap that came with it.... (the opinionated crap that comes from the same seniors who will be the first to gripe at anyone that this is a LEGAL site and not one for personal opinions.. of course we know that is only true when it is someone other than them who wishes to express those opinions)

Click to expand...

MORE "opinionated" crud.
From someone who doesn't know jack about the LAW. Which is, genius, the POINT of this site.

txmom512 said:

Wow... I think y'all were a little harsh and a lot judgmental.

Seriously, who doesn't wish their kids could grow up in a normal happy 2 parent family.

I guess it comes growing up with a brother who is adopted, and who has adopted children of his own. I can understand that it's not an easy decision to make, and can admire a little bit someone who has the courage to let his children go so they can be happy with the parents they have rather than to fight over them constantly...

Click to expand...

My, aren't we smugly nonjudgmental? Except that you also are making a judgment of the OP, based on your personal experience and not the law.

You like sympathetic perspectives? How's this: I'm the youngest of six. My three eldest siblings were adopted by my father through TPR & stepparent adoption. After his wife died, Dad remarried and thus became stepfather to my two half-siblings. Then I was born -- Dad's only "natural" child.

Therefore, I too can muster a great deal of admiration for at least one party in OP's adoption scenario. Three guesses which one....