Ld, you know and I know just because someone calls someone an abuser doesn't make it so. I don't know, maybe because I work in a courtroom all day long and hear all these silly little girls come in here with all these fictitious tales of "abuse" do I say that just because you say it doesn't make it so.
Also, at least here... just because you are abusive to mom, does not make you a danger to the child. All of a sudden if a man yells at a woman, he's an abuser. If a woman hits a man, she's upset, if he hits her back, he's a batterer. Three sides to the story maybe?
Read these posts here. They only get abusive after you've bedded him for years, made a baby and then decided that you were the child's only parent, the only thing you want him to do is pay support and he told you to go to h*ll because he's going to parent his child, right along with you.